The road not taken
by klipdoctor
Summary: An alternative ending to Episode 4. How will one small change affect the future for Molly, Charles and Smurf? This will be very AU.
1. Chapter 1

**Bored on Sunday nights these days? It was only five weeks but I still find myself missing OG on Sunday nights. Here's a little present for all the OG fans out there to help you deal with this Sunday night! Author's notes at the bottom.**

**This is set towards the end of Episode 4.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Our Girl, more's the shame! Everything you recognise was created by Tony Grounds and is owned by the BBC.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 1<strong>

Molly didn't know what to do. The Bossman and Smurf were screaming at each other in the middle of the bridge and Qaseem was yelling at the Captain to get the truck moving. She decided they needed to get on with the job and started checking out the women and children in the back of the truck, wondering if Badrai might be hiding among them. The driver seemed to be OK which must mean that if Badrai _was_ on the truck he was not hiding in the cab.

As Molly looked, her eyes focused on the woman sitting at the back with the black burka on. Something was wrong about this woman. That was it. The eyebrows. They looked too manly. Her eyes locked on the other eyes and she saw her surprise reflected in them as the eyes of Badrai looked back towards her.

Time seemed to slow down for Molly as she took a step back and raised her gun, despairingly calling "Boss, Boss, it's Badrai!" She knew he was too far away to support her. Badrai was lunging towards her, standing up, and she saw he was lifting an AK-47 from under the seat beneath him. Time seemed to slow down as she desperately considered the alternatives. She realised that she had no cover nearby unless she jumped to the side of the bridge. Should she attempt to get to cover? If she did that, then the Bossman and Smurf would be in his direct line of fire and she couldn't let them get hit.

If she went for him herself then she was likely to take some damage but there was a chance she could take him with her without her squad getting hurt. His gun was already lifting and starting to point up from the ground. Her gun was pointing at his head but she remembered Major Morley saying they wanted to get Badrai alive. She lowered her aim, knowing that the hesitation could cost her dearly.

She was vaguely aware of Captain James calling to her but couldn't hear what he was saying. As Badrai's gun swung up from the ground he opened fire on full auto. Milliseconds later she opened fire herself with a focused three round burst at the right side of his abdomen.

Suddenly she felt like she had been punched. The first hit was at the top of her left thigh and then three powerful punches hit across her abdomen and then another in the shoulder, which spun her around off balance.

Away from the action, James, Smurf and the rest of Two Section watched in initial surprise and slowly dawning understanding and horror as Molly took a step back and started yelling. James screamed, "Dawes, get to cover". She backed up a few paces and then aimed her rifle, but then seemed to lower it as the Afghan woman with the black veil pulled up an AK-47 and opened fire on full automatic. Molly fired almost at the same time, but the section saw several shots trace up over her body, penetrating her thigh, then her abdomen and then her right shoulder, spinning her round. At the same time, the Afghan "woman" seemed to be thrown back against the inside of the truck as Molly's own shots went home.

"NO!" yelled Captain James, jumping forwards and running towards his medic as she started to collapse to the ground. "DAWES!" Smurf just stood on the bridge, watching in shock as his whole world continued to crumble around him. First he was betrayed by the Boss and now his breakdown caused Molly to be shot. He backed into the side of the bridge and slid down the wall, continuing to stare wretchedly as Molly's body fell to the ground on the far side of the bridge.

James reached her and stared down into Molly's wide green eyes. She had fallen on her back but, still wearing her Bergen, was propped up off the ground with her head lolling slightly to the left. She stared back at him through glazed eyes. "Boss" she whispered, staring into his light brown eyes, "I'm sorry." James stared down at the broken body of the woman he loved. Blood was leaking out of her left thigh and right shoulder but also, more worryingly, flowing out of her abdomen where a shot or shots seemed to have penetrated her body armour. James reached for her left shoulder and gripped it while he desperately fought for composure.

"Kinders! Man down!" He shouted on the radio, while his brain noted in a detached way that it wasn't a man at all, "One CAT-A. Urgent medevac required! Stay where you are and keep covering us. Send Dangles and Nude-Nut to me and someone to take care of Smurf! Make sure the MERT knows that it's our medic that's down and they need to send someone who can take care of her on the ground!"

"Acknowledged boss." Came the reply, and James could hear the tremor of emotion in Kinders' normally professional voice, as Dangleberries and Nude Nut broke cover and raced towards the fallen Molly. Out of the corner of his eye James saw Kinders turn and order Baz Vegas to go to Smurf.

"Boss…" came the whisper from below him, "Badrai….needs to live…Yanks want him alive…" the effort of talking seemed to tire Molly out as her head lolled again. "No way!" he bit out, "you're more important!"

With a seemingly great effort, Molly looked up and focused on his eyes, "Boss…I made a decision to wound, not kill…don't let 'im die – promise me…" Her eyes slid to the side and she lay panting, working to breathe. She finally managed to squeeze some more words out, "bandages…cover the wounds…try and stop the bleedin'…tie them tight…both of us…" her voice was so faint by the last word that James had to lean in to hear.

Dangles and Nude Nut had arrived in time to hear Molly's words and stared down in horror at the woman who had become the heart of their section. Molly was desperately pushing down on her bleeding abdomen, trying in vain to stop the blood flow. Dangles fell to his knees beside her as the seriousness of her injuries penetrated, "No Mols". He reached out to touch her face as she looked up at him and tried to smile reassuringly. The fact that _she_ was trying to reassure _them_ just about broke James' heart.

The interruption gave James a second to catch his thoughts. "Dangles, Nude-Nut! Go to the truck. Confirm that the insurgent is disarmed and that the other civilians are safe and then do what you can to keep him alive until the MERT gets here. Ask Qaseem to handle the Afghan civilians. I know it looks bad, but you must do your best to hold it together. For Molly" he finished encouragingly. They both acknowledged him and ran off while he started pulling bandages out of his med pack.

"Gloves. Morphine" Molly whispered.

"What?" he replied, startled.

"Put on gloves…and give me some morphine…side of my pack" she replied, "We'll make a medic of you yet sir…" she joked, coughing slightly. It wrenched at his heart seeing her trying to raise his spirits, knowing that she was injured because he had fucked up. Anyway, he couldn't focus on that now. He took off his gloves and pulled on a pair of surgical gloves as quickly as he could, but evidently not quickly enough.

"Takin' too long…stop the bleedin'…tie me up tight…will hurt me…but ignore it" She looked up at him again, "…hurry…stomach first". He pulled bandages out of the side of the small emergency med pack she kept strapped to her waist, identical to the one he had. He tried to push gauze onto her wound but her body armour kept getting in the way. He lifted it up and gasped as he saw the extent of the damage to her abdomen.

She picked up on it and whispered, "Is it bad?" As he stuffed gauze across the hole he answered, forcing as much levity into his voice as possible, "Nah, just a graze Dawesy. I was surprised you're such a wuss actually". She tried to laugh and coughed. "Can't wait…to play poker…wiv you sir…you're crap…at lyin'!" Looking across at her, he tried to smile, "It's a date Dawesy, so you'd better survive." She muttered something that seemed to include "first date", but her eyes were glazed and he noticed she was already turning pale. He applied the field dressings over the gauze and started to pass them around her abdomen. As he pulled them tight she emitted a hoarse scream which pulled at him.

She panted for another few seconds, obviously trying to get control of herself, "Now the leg…then the arm…don't worry sir…you're doin' well". He set back to the task at hand, pushing the gauze onto her leg and wrapping the field dressing around it tightly as she grunted. By the time he had finished her shoulder her breathing was starting to get laboured. He looked up at her face but her eyes were closed. Her lovely face looked pale, much paler than when he had started, and gaunt. He reached out for her hand, desperate to give her some reassurance that she wasn't alone.

"Kinders, ETA on the MERT?" he called, "ETA two minutes sir," came the reply.

"Tell them to get here as soon as possible. I'm losing her" he ordered. "Do they know we also have an insurgent casualty?" to which Kinders replied affirmatively, "Dangles, what's the status on the insurgent?"

"Still alive sir. We plugged the bleeding. He's taken two rounds in the right shoulder but he's still breathing. Tell Molly he'll live" As she heard the report, Molly's mouth twitched up but that was the only reaction. Suddenly he thought of another thing. "Baz, how is Smurf?"

Baz replied, "He's out of it sir. It's like he's totally broken down. He won't take his eyes off you and Molly and he keeps repeating No No No under his breath. He won't respond to anything I say". He didn't really want to worry about Smurf at the moment but the professional in him replied, "OK, make sure you hand him off to the MERT as soon as they get here". As he finished he heard the low pitched beating sound of a Chinook's rotor blades in the distance.

The helicopter circled the area a few times, finally deciding to land by the compound in which they had hidden overnight. As it settled, the back ramp came down and two figures in full combat gear, but carrying medical packs and equipment instead of rifles, sprinted across the bridge towards them. As they got closer they resolved into Molly's friend Jackie Dawlish, and another woman that he didn't know. As Jackie reached Molly she seemed to recognise who it was and stopped dead and cried "Oh, Molly Dawes, what have you done now you stupid cow?"

Molly cracked open an eye, which now looked bloodshot and tried to grin up at her friend. "Trouble…seems…to follow me…" she rasped. It seemed to mean something to Jackie since she produced a small, sad smile.

"OK Captain, please tell me what happened and what you've done so far," said the other woman to Captain James, taking command. She was wearing a major's crown and had a tag saying "Doctor" on her upper arm. "Jackie, please go and check the other casualty. If he is able to be moved please take him to the chopper under guard and then come back and assist me." With one last glance at Molly, Jackie ran over to the truck and started looking over Badrai, talking to Dangles and Nude Nut as she did so.

As James filled the Major in on what had happened and what he'd done so far he kept an eye on Molly. Her breathing was becoming more laboured and he was really worried. As he finished, the Major turned to Molly and spoke directly to her, "OK Molly, I'm Nicky and we're going to get you sorted and back to Bastion, OK? So I'm just going to do a full check to make sure we haven't missed any wounds. It could hurt a bit as I move you around, OK?"

She didn't wait for Molly to acknowledge her before running her gloved hands around Molly's legs, starting at the bottom and running them up to the top. "OK, Captain, I'm going to lean her forward and I want you to unstrap her pack and then pull off her body armour, OK?" James acknowledged and set about loosening then sliding the straps off Molly's arms as the Major held her forward. The pack came off OK, but when he pulled the body armour off, what seemed like a torrent of blood seemed to leak out of Molly's back, and she moaned piteously.

"SHIT!" yelled Nicky, "Jackie I need you here now! Exit wound that we hadn't spotted! Captain, I need you to hold her up so I can dress it!" He immediately moved around to Molly's left shoulder so that the Major could reach around to the right side of her back, and he gently held Molly up. Her breathing was harsh and she was mewling in pain. Jackie arrived and helped the Major wrap bandages around Molly's wounds.

He tried to whisper encouraging words to her, but wasn't sure if she could hear and grasped her left hand with his, "Hold on Molly" he whispered, "everything's going to be OK". Molly coughed and then spat out a gob of blood. A thin stream of blood leaked down from the left corner of her mouth dripping over her chin, "You're a terrible liar sir" she whispered without opening her eyes. The Major finished and they laid her back, James pointing out the blood in Molly's mouth. The Major, Nicky, quickly looked into her mouth with her torch and answered, "Phew, it's not from her lungs. It looks like she just bit her tongue in pain. OK, now we need to get her on a stretcher." Jackie immediately grabbed a portable stretcher that they had put down next to the medical packs and started setting it up.

"We'll need some bodies, Captain," said Nicky and James looked up to see Nude Nut and Dangles standing around looking like spare wheels about 10 feet away, watching Molly with concern. Obviously Badrai was now in the chopper. Looking around, he also saw Smurf was nowhere to be seen and assumed he had been taken to the chopper as well. Kinders was standing up conversing with the ANA commander using Qaseem as an interpreter but they were both casting regular concerned looks towards Molly. The rest of the section was still covering the sides of the bridge but he could also see them casting looks at Molly as well.

"Nude Nut, Dangles, can you help move Molly onto the stretcher?" he called. They both immediately came over and knelt down by the stretcher with Nude Nut on the left, Dangles on the right, the Major at the top and him at the bottom. "OK, on three," called Nicky, "One, two, _three_." They all gripped Molly and shifted her onto the stretcher, prompting another of those horrific grating screams of pain from Molly. The soldiers all flinched but the medics seemed to accept it. The soldiers stood up, staring down at their fallen comrade as Nicky took out a blood pack and pushed a nasty looking needle into Molly's left arm, then took out a stethoscope and started listening at various points on Molly's chest. Jackie was tucking the blood pack into Molly's top pocket.

Molly was a horrific sight. Her abdomen, shoulder and leg were covered in blood encrusted bandages and her hands, which were now lying at her sides, were also covered in blood. Her lips were smeared with blood and there was a line of it down her chin which contrasted strongly with her white, pasty face. Her eyes were closed, and her breathing seemed very faint indeed. As Nicky finished her checks she seemed to hear something and put her ear by Molly's mouth which moved infinitesimally.

"She wants you," she announced, looking at James, "assuming you're "Boss"? Be quick. We need to move her ASAP. I'll continue to monitor while you talk."

James bent down on his hands and knees to get as close to Molly's head as he could, conscious of the others, except Nicky, moving back to give them some private space. "I'm here Dawesy," he announced, wrapping her left hand gently in both of his. It was cold, despite the warmth of the Afghan weather. "Wanted to say sorry" she whispered so quietly he had to put his ear practically against her mouth. She was carefully enunciating the words. He wasn't having her blaming herself, "You don't have anything to be sorry for Molly. It was my fault". She squeezed his hand, and opened her eyes. It almost broke his heart. Her beautiful green eyes were bloodshot, "Don't…blame…yourself" she gasped and then "Look at me….please…" he turned to face her, fearing he knew what this was. "I love you" he whispered, looking into her eyes. She stared at him for a long moment and then her mouth lifted up at the left corner, "Ditto". A second passed, then:

"SHIT! She's arresting!" yelled Nicky, "help me get her to the chopper. NOW!" They picked up the four corners of the stretcher and sprinted towards the chopper, with Nicky screaming on her radio, "she's arrested, get the paddles charged and prepare for immediate departure as soon as we get to you. Advise Bastion we have an emergency inbound! Hot vampire!" They ran the stretcher into the chopper and medics immediately surrounded them, pushing the three soldiers away. Jackie gently pushed them towards the ramp, "You have to go guys, we're launching for Bastion now. We'll do our best." The ramp was already whirring and they managed to jump down to the ground as it started to lift. The chopper's magnificent rotors started to rotate faster and the engines whined. Deafened, they stumbled away as the chopper started to lift off. As it departed, nine sets of eyes followed it until it crossed the horizon.

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><p><strong>AN 1 I always thought the ending of Episode 4 was a bit contrived. How Badrai managed to fire, hitting James and Smurf but not hitting Molly, who was between them, seemed extremely unlikely and it also didn't sound likely that Molly would panic in that way, especially given how cool she'd been under fire up until then. On top of that, surely Badrai would want to fire at Molly, given she was responsible for breaking up his family?**

**A/N 2 I've used a Chinook as the MERT chopper as that is what was actually used in Afghanistan. I assume the cost of getting a Chinook to South Africa forced them to use other equipment for the series which led them to use those clapped out Hueys. The Hueys looked really cool (Apocalypse Now, anyone?!) but are certainly factually incorrect. Actually the British Army does operate the Bell 212, a close relation to the Huey, but only in Belize.**

**A/N 3 A typical MERT or Medical Emergency Response Team deployed in Afghanistan would consist of a trauma surgeon, a trauma nurse and two paramedics. The MERT is one of the key elements that has improved survivability on the battlefield in the Afghan war. Embarked in a Chinook helicopter the team can operate on a patient en route to hospital to provide critical medical support before the patient even gets to hospital. It is the equivalent of taking the casualty ward to the patient, rather than bringing the patient to the ward. Between the combat medical care on the battlefield, the MERT and the exceptional advances in trauma medicine pioneered at the Camp Bastion hospital, British soldiers in the Afghan war had a much higher chance of survival than in any other recent conflict.**

**A/N 4 Hot Vampire means that the MERT team has had to give a blood transfusion en route to Bastion.**

**A/N 5 My upload schedule will be significantly slower on this than Captain's Log. I have much of the second chapter already written, and all of the epilogue, but quite a lot of work to do in between (although it is all planned out!). There's a fair amount of research to do for this piece and quite a lot of real life to be lived, but bear with me! I'm still working on a continuation to "Missed Me" and will update that as soon as I've got something together.**

**A/N 6 On a totally unrelated note, did anyone else spot Major Beck in Corrie this week? So we've had Dangles in Casualty and Sohail in Homeland. Any other good spots?**


	2. Chapter 2

**Happy Sunday everybody!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Our Girl. Everything you recognise was created by Tony Grounds and is owned by the BBC.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 2<strong>

As the beat of the helicopter rotors faded, Captain James desperately tried to bury his feelings and focus on the job in hand. Despite the fact that he didn't know if the woman he loved was alive or dead he had responsibilities to his unit and to the Army to carry on doing his job. He totally blamed himself for the situation they were in. He supposed Smurf was slightly responsible as well and wondered about the reason behind his breakdown? Molly had been quite clear, from what he gathered, that she wasn't interested in Smurf romantically. But the fact remained that if he himself had told Molly about Rebecca and Sam, then she would still have been talking to him when they got here and there would have been no need to make up, and for Smurf to see them making up. Then Smurf would not have flipped and he would have been in a position to help and support Molly with Badrai. Instead he had lost his tactical awareness and had left her unsupported and now she may be dead because of his mistakes.

He took a deep breath. He had to get a grip. He had responsibilities. He took a look around. Two Section and Qaseem were still looking towards the horizon where the Chinook had passed out of sight. The ANA soldiers were heading back to their work with some breaking off to deal with the passengers in the truck. He supposed they would be shipped off to be interrogated to find out how much they knew. Towards the end of the bridge he could see a huge patch of blood surrounded by Molly's discarded medi-Bergen, gun and body armour and, next to it, an open medi-Bergen discarded by the MERT team. He supposed the section would have to take all of that equipment with them. There was no-one else around. The farmer with the dead goat had run off during the fight and taken his goat with him. He felt sorry for the man; the goat might be his only livelihood.

He looked down at himself. He was still wearing the blue surgical gloves covered with Molly's blood, and it was also coating the top of his thighs and his abdomen where he had held her against himself. He started taking off the gloves, desperate to rid himself of them and the reminder of Molly's injury. He knew he must try and reassure the men and arrange transport back to Bastion. He needed to get back to Bastion as soon as possible to be with Molly but there were other things that needed doing too. Finally a bit more centred, he took a deep breath and started talking.

"OK lads, I know it's tough but we've still got a job to do here." He said, attracting their attention back to him. "Kinders, can you and Qaseem speak to the ANA and make sure they whistle up transport to take the civilians in for interrogation and get the truck checked for explosives? Dangles, contact HQ and ask them to send a chopper to pick us up. Brains, please pick up the discarded equipment and put it to the side ready to take with us. Fingers, Baz, Nude-Nut and Mansfield, you're on lookout duty. Everyone check your weapons and equipment and get ready to leave." With that the section split up to their assigned tasks and Captain James went back to his self-recrimination.

- OG - OG - OG - OG -

The helicopter carrying Two Section flared, ready for its landing at Camp Bastion. Charles James looked around the faces of his section with concern. The boys had been on autopilot since the Chinook had left carrying Molly. They had done everything he told them to do but it was a good thing nothing else had happened since he could tell their minds weren't in it. Even Kinders was clearly having trouble focusing. He could understand that, it was all he could do not to jump off the chopper and run to the medical centre himself. But he had responsibilities to the men. He needed to get them back to quarters, get the after action work started, and also maybe whistle up a psychiatrist or two to counsel the boys. Between Smurf's breakdown and Molly being shot down in front of them he didn't think they'd be up to much for some time to come. He knew how they felt.

- OG - OG - OG - OG -

It was two hours later before he was able to get to the hospital. He had skipped out of the after-action interview with Major Beck, pleading the necessity to find out the state of his injured troops. The Major had understood; all officers who served on the front lines understood how painful it was to lose a soldier under their command and the Major already knew of (and shared) his high regard for Molly, although not quite in the same way.

He had not even had time to shower but he didn't care because he had to know how Molly was. Entering the hospital building his feet took him towards the emergency area, desperately looking for a familiar face. Coming around the corner he finally saw someone he knew, Jackie Dawlish. Seeing Jackie did not fill him with confidence. She was leaning against the wall outside the entrance to the operating theatre wearing her green plastic surgical apron, scrubbing her eyes with her hands.

"Jackie!" he called, "any news on Molly? I came as soon as I could. I needed to get the section dealt with and…" conscious that he was gabbling, he stopped. She had turned to look at him and he noticed her red-rimmed eyes. A spasm of fear ripped through him, "Jackie?" he questioned more quietly.

"She's only just holding on, sir" came the tired reply, "she just won't give up. They had to re-start her heart three times in the helicopter and once more since she's been here. They've used 12 units of blood…" she tailed off. He knew that the average human body contains 12 units of blood, Molly had lost her entire blood supply and it was all because he didn't think to look for an exit wound. What a failure he was.

Seeing his look of self-hatred, Jackie tried to reassure him, "Your treatment was really important, sir. If you hadn't plugged the wounds in her front, shoulder and leg, she definitely would be dead now. She's still fighting as well. They've been operating for four hours. Unfortunately there was some internal bleeding and that's going to complicate matters. They will try to stabilise her and then send her for a CT scan so that they can find out what else needs to be done. Normally, they would do the CT scan first, but she was so critical when they brought her in that they had to take her straight to theatre. You should go and rest sir. It's unlikely there will be any news for a few hours."

He knew he couldn't but he had to ask anyway, "Can I see her?"

Jackie answered gently, "She's still in theatre sir. Maybe when she gets out there may be a possibility, but we'll have to wait and see. Don't worry sir, I'll keep you updated on how she is. If there's any change I'll call you or send someone to get you."

He replied, "Thanks Jackie" and then thinking that she didn't look too great either, he asked "Have you had a rest at all?" to which she replied, "No sir, I just want to stay until she gets out of theatre. They sent me out because of my personal relationship with Molly." He could understand that, and he knew the futility of trying to insist she get some rest. It wasn't an order he would obey if he didn't have responsibilities to the rest of the section. He contented himself with telling her, "Thanks for being such a good friend to her Jackie. I'll be with Major Beck of the Under Fives if you need to get hold of me."

- OG - OG - OG - OG -

Major Roger Beck looked across the table at Captain James with concern. One of his best officers seemed to be unravelling right before his eyes. The Captain had reported to his quarters-cum-office 15 minutes ago for his delayed after-action debriefing. At least he had taken the time to shower and clean himself up, but the man sat in front of him was a far cry from the normally collected officer who was one of his most able subordinates. This officer looked totally strung out, with wide eyes and palsied hands, and seemed unable to concentrate. So far their after-action debriefing had been one of the most difficult he had ever conducted.

Major Beck sympathised; it was always difficult to lose a soldier, particularly as outstanding a soldier as Private Dawes was shaping up to be, and he knew that the Captain had developed a soft spot for the spunky Private once he got to know her, even though their relationship had been pretty rocky at the start. It was honestly difficult not to have a soft spot for Private Dawes, particularly now that the rough edges were starting to wear off. She was turning into an exceptional soldier. The Major had been keeping a close eye on her ever since Captain James had flagged her as a potential candidate for a commission in her annual fitness report, and he had been nothing but impressed.

Since then she had developed the intelligence which led to them successfully ambushing and defeating a Taliban cell in the mountains close to their FOB, and had identified Badrai as a Taliban operative, alerting the Americans to his presence in their operating area and kicking off a major counter-intelligence operation. She had participated in both missions to capture him, helping to put a bomb-making factory out of action on the first, but coming back with a split lip, and being critically injured on the second. But in becoming critically injured, she'd finally got their man. He knew that Major Morley of US Military Intelligence had been really impressed with Dawes prior to this mission and he had made sure that Major Beck knew about it. It was terrible to think of all that potential being snuffed out and his prayers, alongside everyone else who knew or had worked with her, were that she would pull through this. But he needed to get to the bottom of what happened, so he fixed his eyes on the Captain again and silently willed Charles to hold it together for a bit longer.

"I don't understand Captain, why didn't the ANA stop the truck at the first checkpoint?" he continued, pulling Charles back to the debriefing.

Captain James re-focused on him with an effort and he could see the anguish and bitter self-recrimination in his eyes, "I don't know sir. Major Morley had posited that the Taliban had sympathisers in the ANA at the checkpoints to let some of their trucks through and that certainly seems likely in this case. Our ASF contact was practically screaming at them to stop the truck, but they still let it through to the second gate where luckily they stopped it.

"But the problem was that I was counting on us deploying to the main checkpoint, then I could have had my section in place to give mutual support at close range and with good cover. Once the truck went across the bridge I had to adapt my plan, and that's when I made my first mistake."

"Go on Captain, what did you do?"

"Well I detailed Privates Smith and Dawes to continue with me, as well as the interpreter and the ASF contact and told the rest of the Section to take defensive positions and establish a fire base. But about half way over, I became more worried about a farmer with a goat who seemed to be hovering in the vicinity and detailed Private Smith to watch him. In retrospect I should have kept Private Smith with me, or pulled one of the others from the larger group."

"I don't see that that was a mistake Charles. At that point you had no idea that Private Smith was going to break down. Don't beat yourself up about it – I would have done the same thing. Now carry on."

"So we proceeded across the bridge and I tasked Dawes to examine the back of the truck and the ANA to check the driver while I held a position to give support if needed. She had a quick look and concluded that something wasn't right and just as I went to answer her, a gunshot rang out. We both took cover and it transpired that Private Smith had shot the farmer's goat. He had flipped. He was shouting at the farmer to "go for your weapon". I asked Smith whether the farmer even had a gun and then I made my second bad decision.

"There's no excuse sir. I lost tactical awareness. I left Dawes to go to Private Smith. There was chaos. I told everyone to hold their fire and tried to find out what had happened. I should have called up support for Dawes at that moment but I didn't and I will have to live with that decision for the rest of my life…" as Charles concluded, Major Beck could see that there were tears in his eyes. He sought to reassure his subordinate, "Anyone can make mistakes in action Charles. I'm sure you have before, and I certainly have. It's how we deal with making mistakes that separates the wheat from the chaff. So, you left Private Dawes and went to figure out what was going on with Smith – what _was_ going on by the way?" He was surprised when Charles wouldn't meet his eyes. "Captain?" he prompted, more gently.

Charles emitted a deep sigh, clearly fighting for composure, then he looked up and met Major Beck's eyes. His next words utterly shocked the Major. "Sir, I have a confession to make. Private Dawes and I have feelings for one another."

"What?" choked the Major, absolutely stunned. Relationships between soldiers, while strictly forbidden, were not unknown in Afghanistan, but relationships between commissioned officers and other ranks were even more frowned upon. The idea of Captain James and Private Dawes together was unbelievable.

But actually, he reflected, was it so unbelievable? They were both excellent soldiers, both intelligent, honest and fine people. The only thing that was different about them was their social background and if anything was going to break down social barriers it was being on top of each other in a small FOB, risking your life to fight Taliban for months at a time. While he sought to pull his attention back to the debriefing, Charles continued, "We've been aware of it for several weeks, sir, but resolved not to do anything about our feelings until we returned to the UK. I told Dawes that I have a duty of care, not just to her but the whole platoon, and I couldn't compromise that. But in the compound we did have a heart to heart and I guess Smurf – I mean Private Smith – may have overheard us then, even though we did speak in private, sir.

"Sir, I understand that what I did was wrong, and I am fully prepared to face court martial or resign my commission if you prefer."

Major Beck wasn't having any of that, "I think you're getting a bit ahead of yourself Charles. The Army doesn't court martial people for having feelings! Would we rather you discussed them at a different time and place? Yes, certainly, but again I can't see that you're massively out of line in this instance. If Private Smith overheard and over-reacted then that is probably his issue, not yours. I assume from your statements that while you were able to put your personal feelings aside and get on with your work, Private Smith was unable to do so?"

"Yes sir. When I got to him he was in tears and he screamed at me hysterically. I told him repeatedly to put his gun down. While he spoke I became distracted and lost my situational awareness.

"Sir, while I am very angry with Private Smith, this sort of behaviour is well outside what is normal for him and I would like to ask for a full evaluation. I understand that he's had a nervous breakdown but I've thought about his behaviour a lot and I'm convinced that there must be something else wrong with him. I'd like to ask that a full medical evaluation be carried out – I think there's something seriously wrong sir"

The Major made a handwritten note in his report, "I will action that as soon as we're done here Captain. And can I say that it reflects well on you that, despite everything that's happened, you're still looking out for him. Now, I know this is hard, but carry on if you please…"

"Well, he's still one of my men," Captain James noted with a sad half smile, before continuing his story, "Private Dawes obviously decided to start looking through the passengers, and the next thing I was aware of was her calling "Boss! Boss! It's Badrai!" I swung around and saw her step back and then raise her gun. Just before she opened fire she adjusted her aim down. It cost her precious seconds. When I spoke to her after she had been injured she confirmed that she adjusted her aim because the Americans wanted him alive."

"Wait – you're telling me that Private Dawes intentionally took time to change her aim to make sure Badrai wasn't killed?" Major Beck thought he had heard wrong. His opinion of Dawes was already sky high, but now it had gone higher.

"Yes sir," replied Charles, "But I don't know why she didn't just take cover though – she could have protected herself."

The Major looked at Captain James pityingly, "Well I think that's bloody obvious if you think about it Charles, particularly knowing Private Dawes as both of us do!" Captain James looked at him questioningly, "Well from the way you've described the situation, if Private Dawes had dived to the side then you and Private Smith would have been directly in the line of fire, and knowing Private Dawes, for her that would have been an unacceptable situation." The Major paused, considering the Private who was still fighting for her life in hospital, and resolving to do all he could to get her another medal for her courage and selflessness. There weren't too many people with a Military Cross _and_ Bar, certainly not earned on the same tour, but if one person deserved it then it was Molly Dawes. Maybe he would see if he could get her a CGC.

Seeing that Captain James was close to tears at the realisation that the woman he "had feelings for" had decided to risk her life to save his, he sought to get back to the business in hand. "Carry on then Captain, finish the story."

Captain James visibly fought to regain his composure and eventually continued, "Well, they opened fire at about the same time. Badrai must have had his gun under his seat because he pulled it up and opened fire on full auto, but his gun was always rising. Dawes was hit by at least four bullets, starting in her thigh and then tracing up her abdomen and then her shoulder, as the gun rose. I think the rest of the shots went over her shoulder. She hit him with a focused three round burst in his right abdomen and shoulder. As she fell I was already racing towards her and I called for an urgent medevac. On Private Dawes' urging I assigned troops to treat Badrai and then she coached me through how to help her until the MERT arrived. After they had left I attended to clearing up at the scene, getting back and then made sure the men were taken care of back here, sir."

Knowing Charles needed some reassurance the Major tried to keep his voice upbeat, "OK Charles, leave it with me. Try not to beat yourself up about this. I don't have an issue with most of your decisions. As you said you did lose tactical awareness for a few minutes and that did put Private Dawes in a difficult position. But as I also said, how we react and deal with and learn from our mistakes is the most important thing. I don't have any problems with your relationship with Private Dawes. We can't stop people from having feelings and from what I can gather you have both acted professionally throughout. I will speak to the medical team and pass on your concerns about Private Smith.

"Just so you're aware, I got an update on Dawes before we came in here and the medical team have finished operating for now. She is still critical and they will monitor her for several hours before deciding if she's stable enough to Medevac back to the UK. Given the state of Two Section, and what you've told me today, I will endeavour to get your Platoon, and you, back to the UK within the next week. It's only a week or two earlier than you would have been going back anyway. Once you're there I will approve a leave request if you want to spend time with Private Dawes, but obviously you'll be needed for ceremonial functions like the medal parade etcetera."

Charles looked at him in shock, stunned not to be blamed (even though he was still blaming himself) and surprised by the Major's understanding, "Thank you sir. With your permission, I'll go and see to the men?"

"Agreed Captain. Dismissed."

- OG - OG - OG - OG -

The message from Jackie was waiting when Charles got back to his quarters after speaking to his NCOs, followed by Two Section. He had _not_ enjoyed the meeting with Two Section one bit.

The note basically said that if he came down at about 20.00 she should be able to get him in to see Molly. Charles looked at his watch; that was in an hour. He didn't feel much like eating but supposed he should try and keep his strength up, so he resolved to grab a sandwich and then head over to the hospital, even if it meant he had to wait there for a while.

Having reported to the reception desk and been told to wait, he took a seat in one of the chairs. He just stared at the wall, losing track of time and his situation completely. As he sat there he reflected on a difficult visit to Two Section's quarters. When he had entered the tent with Kinders it had been totally silent, which was eerie considering that Kinders had confirmed that all of the remainder of the section was present. Instead of getting up to any of the things that they would normally be doing like playing cards, insulting each other or playing other games, the squad were mostly lying on their bunks or talking quietly and still looked shell-shocked. He resolved at that moment to get the other sections involved with them to try and lift the malaise. He had tried to be as re-assuring as possible as he gave them an update on Molly and Smurf, informing them that Molly was out of theatre but that he didn't have any more news. Then the questions had started. But the problem was, he either didn't have any answers, or couldn't answer the questions about what happened and why. Eventually, in a desperate attempt to get away and to start bringing his men back, he had told the Section to be ready for PT at 07.00 tomorrow and taken his leave.

As he tried to think up ways to improve morale he was shocked when someone spoke next to him, as if out of nowhere, "I was sorry to hear about Private Dawes, Captain. She's an outstanding soldier." He jumped, and made to get to his feet, realising that the American accent could only come from one person.

"Oh, at ease Captain, as you were." Major Morley took the seat next to him, "I've just talked to Major Beck and he told me that Dawes made a conscious decision not to kill Badrai, is that correct?"

He gave a small half smile and replied to the Major, "Yes sir, she told me that she took the time to adjust her aim down and I think that's what resulted in her being so seriously injured."

"Well, I know it doesn't help at the moment Captain, but what she did will end up saving lots of lives. Badrai's on a pretty heavy cocktail of painkilling drugs and he's singing like a bird. We've got an intelligence officer next to his bedside and we've already pulled enough information to crack two large cells. Private Dawes' presence of mind and preparedness to risk herself for her comrades and the mission could end up making a material impact. In light of what we've learnt and its likelihood of saving American as well as other lives, and what you've told me, I will be putting Private Dawes in for an award, probably the Silver Star."

He smiled sadly at the image of Molly being presented with the Silver Star. She would hate being singled out and would insist that she was only doing her job. He had already expected to have a conversation like that with her given he had nominated her for an award for saving Smurf's life and a Military Cross had recently been approved. He realised that the Major was looking at him concernedly, "Sorry sir, just wool gathering I'm afraid. It will be a great honour and I hope that she will be able to receive it in person."

"As do we all, Captain," replied the Major, getting up to leave, "Please keep me abreast of what is going on Captain. Our hopes and prayers are with Private Dawes and her family." With that the Major strode away and Charles considered that perhaps the Major wasn't such a cold fish after all.

He sat for another ten minutes, slowly drifting off to sleep, before another familiar voice jerked him awake. "Well Captain James, I get to see you twice in one day. Lucky me." He turned and saw the Major from the MERT, who he still knew only as Nicky. This time she was dressed in utilities covered by a plastic surgical apron. He jerked upright and faced her, "Major- I'm sorry, I don't know your surname, only your first name?"

She cracked a smile, "It's Watts, Captain. Nicola Watts."

He replied, "Major Watts, I wanted to thank you for everything you did for Molly – I mean Private Dawes. I understand your team saved her life in the helicopter on a number of occasions."

"We were just doing our jobs Captain," _How did he know she was going to say that? Were all medical people alike? That was exactly what Molly would have said!_ "Nevertheless Major, I'd like to thank you" he stated gratefully.

She smiled at him tiredly, "Well, you're welcome Captain, but you did your bit too. Stomach wounds are notoriously nasty and can bleed out within 15 minutes. By stopping the bleeding you certainly saved her life. And hers isn't the only life you've saved today."

To say that he was flabbergasted would be a massive understatement, "W-What?" he gasped.

She answered, "Private Smith. We've just completed a full medical work-up on him, including an MRI. We found a small lesion on his brain. It had been unnoticed previously and probably wouldn't have been picked up unless you had highlighted his instability. We're going to fly him back to the UK and they'll operate on him there. We hope he should make a full recovery but it will take time; brain surgery is notoriously complex. If it hadn't been noticed he could, and probably would, have died from it." He stared at her, open mouthed, as she continued, "I know it's scant consolation when a loved one is so critically injured…Oh, don't bother trying to deny it Captain," she added kindly as he tried to speak, "I heard yours and Private Dawes' conversation just before she arrested. It's OK, I'll keep your secret – doctor/patient confidentiality and all that."

He replied, "Thank you Major, but it's not a secret anymore. I told Major Beck since it was germane to the situation with Private Smith. Nothing's actually happened. We planned to wait out until we got back to the UK."

"So you've acted professionally Captain. No-one could ask for any more. No-one can blame you for having feelings and no-one could blame you for what you said in those horrible circumstances." She finished, sadly, trying to reassure him.

"In my head I understand that Major, but I still feel like an epic fail." He remembered Molly using those exact same words, "It's my fault she's in this position."

"I'm sure it's not Captain, and over time you will come to understand that.

"For now, however, I've come to take you to Private Dawes." _It was sweet_, she thought, his head shot up and hope replaced desperation and exhaustion in his eyes. "I'll ask you to wear scrubs Captain. My colleagues had to crack the abdominal cavity and there is a risk of infection if we have to open her back up. We're keeping her unconscious and immobilised; we always do that at the beginning with abdominal wounds.

"You should be aware that there's a fair amount of damage, Captain and, if she makes it, her recovery will be a long one. There are a lot of risks between now and then. Any infection to the peritoneal membrane (which covers the abdominal cavity) would be extremely serious, and it will be some time before we can eliminate that. Her stomach wounds have bled a lot and there's a fair amount of damage and the bullet ricocheted around before it exited. We've had to put in a temporary colostomy bag to allow her body to function. Added to that, the exit wound on her back was pretty messy. The wound in her shoulder is also not that great and chipped the bone. We hope we got all the fragments but there is the possibility that they will have to operate again."

She watched as he visibly wilted in front of her as she described Dawes' injuries, "The good news is that the thigh wound is just a flesh wound. Don't be disheartened Captain. She is getting the best trauma treatment in the world. Did you know that this hospital has a 98% survival rate? People are surviving injuries in this war who never would have survived in previous wars. If there's a way for her to survive, then she will. And she's a tough little blighter as well. She's not giving up Captain, and you shouldn't either. She'll need your support over the next few months." As she finished her pep talk, she saw the hope return to Captain James' eyes. His back straightened involuntarily.

"I'll be there for her Major, for as long as it takes."

"Of course you will Captain. Now I've got the warnings out of the way I'll take you to see her."

- OG - OG - OG - OG -

Charles James felt out of his comfort zone, clad only in surgical scrubs with a surgical hat, but it was worth it to see Molly. As Major Watts showed him into the surgical ward he saw that there were only three patients currently. Jackie Dawlish was sitting next to a bed in the corner, some distance from the other beds, which held a green-shrouded figure. A life support machine was beeping away next to the bed. He could just about recognise Molly, even though her beautiful hair was wrapped up in a surgical hat. Her face looked much better than the last time he'd seen her, even disfigured by the breathing tube sticking out of her mouth, which was linked to a ventilator. It was a much more healthy colour and it was not covered in blood. Her body was covered by a green surgical sheet from which emerged loads of tubes and lines, from cardiac monitors to thicker tubes, which he assumed were some type of catheters. An overwhelming feeling of relief hit him, "She looks better," he stated quietly.

Beside him Major Watts smiled to herself. Most people would be horrifically upset by seeing a loved one in this state, but she supposed he was right; compared to when he last saw her she did look a Hell of a lot better. The Major asked Jackie Dawlish, who had looked up at his words, "Any change?"

"No Major" she replied.

"OK, Jackie. I think Captain James would like a little time alone with Private Dawes so why don't you go and get a shower and some rest." She made it an order, however quietly she said it, and Jackie got up stiffly, smiled at her and Captain James and walked out of the room. Turning to the Captain she told him, "You can have 10 minutes Captain. I'll be sending a nurse in after that and you'll have to go. If there's any change while you're here press the emergency button next to her bed. There will be someone with her constantly, so be assured that we'll take good care of her, and I'll keep you up to date with her condition. If she continues to stabilise then we'll order up CCAST and get her medevacced to the UK as soon as possible. They'll be able to give her much better care and support than we can give her here." Seeing that the Captain was struggling to take it all in, she led him over to the seat that Jackie had been using and told him kindly, "You can hold her hand, but don't touch her anywhere else please. You can talk to her if you want; some people find it helps them, but she's not conscious and won't hear you. Remember, 10 minutes Captain." With that she turned away and left him to it.

He sat in the chair, as instructed, and gently gathered her hand in both of his, being careful not to joggle the pulse monitor which was on her finger. He was pleasantly surprised that her hand felt warm again, much better than it had the last time he'd held it. He sat there for a minute, just treasuring the feeling of holding her hand in his. It was a small hand, very feminine, despite her short fingernails. It felt very smooth as well, despite the manual labour she did for her job. He wondered abstractedly how she managed to keep her skin so smooth. He had never noticed her fingers before but they were quite beautiful, long and finely shaped. It was surprising how natural her hand felt in his and he found himself gently massaging the back of her hand with his thumb.

He felt a little silly speaking to her, but he gave it a try anyway. "I'm here Molly. The doctors say there's a good chance you're going to be OK. They're going to send you back to the UK and I'll come and visit you as soon as I can." Suddenly he knew what he wanted to say, and the words just tumbled out of his mouth, "I just wanted to say thank you. I understand now that you risked your life to save mine and Smurf's. I'll never forgive myself for leaving you unsupported, putting you into that position. Please pull through. I've missed being with you so much over the last few weeks since we got back to Bastion. I didn't understand how important you've become to me and how much I relied on talking to and seeing you, and just having you near me, until you were gone. I'm so sorry I didn't tell you about Rebecca and Sam. Maybe we could have avoided all of this if I had. I didn't really say it as often as I should, but I love you Molly. Please come back to me." Having bared his soul, he simply sat there, savouring the feel of her soft skin on his until the nurse arrived and turfed him out. He left without complaint, having said all he needed to say for now. He would have more to say when she could answer back and he desperately hoped he would have the opportunity to have that conversation with her.

* * *

><p><strong>AN 1 Lots of sources for this chapter, with the exceptional (though not for the squeamish) BBC series Frontline Medicine definitely due a mention. Thanks also to paramedic Marc for his time and patience in discussions over possible injuries, impacts and treatments. All mistakes are my own. The survival rate at the Camp Bastion hospital was 98% - the best in the world!**

**A/N 2 If you are squeamish you may want to skip this note! Some of the major developments pioneered at the Camp Bastion hospital and throughout the war have been changes in the way that doctors handle transfusions. There are two major improvements: (1) The intra-osseous needle whereby if they can't find a vein to put a drip into they can use this bit of kit to drill into the bone, allowing blood to be transported much more rapidly into the bloodstream; and (2) A different blood transfusion mixture. During Vietnam, saline was the go to for blood transfusions but more recently red blood cells were more common, but since 2007 the British military has started to use larger amounts of blood plasma (1 unit of plasma to 1 unit of red blood cells) which has led to a huge increase in battlefield survival figures. The NHS have trialled and instituted these developments in trauma treatments. **

**A/N 3 Military Cross and Bar means two awards of the MC. Only 172 people have ever been awarded the MC twice (according to Wikipedia) and I can only track down one double award in Afghanistan, for Corporal John Watson, Royal Marines. CGC stands for Conspicuous Gallantry Cross, a medal which ranks second only to the Victoria Cross in terms of gallantry in combat. It has been awarded only 58 times since it was instituted in 1993 (source: Dix Noonan Webb).**

**A/N 4 The Silver Star is the US's third highest military decoration for valour, awarded for gallantry in action against an enemy of the US. **

**A/N 5 CCAST stands for Critical Care Air Support Team, part of the RAF's Aeromedical Evacuation Coordination Cell (AECC). Once the order is received for a critically ill patient to be transferred to the UK a CCAST can deploy in about an hour although it takes 10 hours for the team to fly to Afghanistan from RAF Lyneham. The 5-member team would typically consist of a consultant anaesthetist, two critical care nurses, a medic and an equipment technician. Their job is to maintain the stability of the patients on the way home, but not to operate on them. The CCAST would deliver the patient to an airport in Birmingham for urgent transfer to the Queen Elizabeth Hospital, which handles all medical treatment for Afghan casualties. **

**A/N 6 Prolonging the agony for all those Molly fans out there – sorry! And a pretty major development for Smurf…please R&R!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own Our Girl. Everything you recognise was created by Tony Grounds and is owned by the BBC.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 3<strong>

Charles James thought that he was going nuts. This was torture. At any other time he'd be delighted to be relaxing on a beach in Cyprus, but this was _not_ any other time. He had not had an update on Molly since he'd arrived here 12 hours ago. At least at Bastion he knew what was going on; Major Watts had been fantastic about finding out Molly's condition and keeping him up to date, even after she'd been medevacced to Queen Elizabeth Hospital, Birmingham. He'd have to make sure he bought her a present when she got back; she had certainly gone out of her way to make sure he knew how Molly was doing, which was above and beyond the call of duty, and information he probably would not have been able to find out otherwise.

And the truth was, he needed a regular update because Molly had not been well at all. While she had stabilised well enough to be evacuated to the UK within 30 hours of being shot, since she arrived in the UK things had not gone so well. In fact pretty much nothing seemed to be going right for her. Bone chips in her shoulder had caused an additional, unexpected, bleed which necessitated a further operation, but that wasn't the worst. There had also been further internal bleeding in her abdomen and in addition she was fighting a nasty infection. Since she was injured she had not regained consciousness and it had apparently been very touch and go at times.

Now, in Cyprus, he had no idea what was going on and it was driving him crazy. About the only things to be said for his situation were that he was able to enjoy a beer, which was no small thing after nearly six months, and he had been able to talk to Sam and his parents. He had warned his parents that he wouldn't be able to come home straight away because two of his soldiers were in hospital and he needed to go to see how they were, but he would do his best to get down to Bath as soon as he was able. His mother had been disappointed, but being able to hear his voice and knowing he was uninjured had placated her to some extent.

At least the boys were better. When he had met them for their morning PT session the day after he had visited Molly at the hospital he had been able to tell them that she was looking better and that she would likely be evacuated soon. They had been reassured, and, when he had passed on the news about Smurf they had also been relieved. That morning's PT had been good for all of them. He had gone with them and the whole section had done their 5km in their fastest time ever – they had needed to get some stress out of them. It had also helped the boys get back on an even keel and they were, if not normal, much closer to it. The other sections had been great as well; challenging them to five-a-side football and fitness competitions and generally trying to bring the boys back. He had not passed on any of his news about Molly's worsening condition. He was still hoping she would be OK and it wouldn't be necessary.

His mobile phone vibrated. He wondered who it was; he had spoken to everyone who would be expecting him back. He saw that there was a text message from Qaseem. Qaseem had been as distraught as anyone with what happened to Molly. Perhaps more so. Over the course of their tour he had seen the two of them grow closer together, helped by Molly's genuine empathy for all those around her and Qaseem's admiration for all that Molly was developing into. In fact, Qaseem had observed to him just the week before their final mission that his daughter would have been Molly's age and that if she had been half the person that Molly was, he'd have been the proudest father in the world.

Qaseem had approached him in his office two days after the fateful events at the bridge to tell him that his time of service was at an end and that he had decided to go back to civilian life. However, he had asked that Charles please keep him up to date with what happened with Molly. He had passed over his e-mail address and mobile number and begged to be kept informed about how she was. He had been a good comrade and Charles was happy to do this. He had been passing on medical updates as and when he got them. Now he wondered what Qaseem wanted, and opened the message. Just two words, "Any news?" At least there was someone else going as mad as he was.

They were leaving for the UK at 06.00 tomorrow and if he was lucky, after he'd bedded the Platoon down, he might be able to get to the hospital by 18.00. He had already looked up a taxi company which said that they could get a car to him within 20 minutes of his call and if memory served it would take just over an hour to drive from the barracks in Bicester to Birmingham. Hopefully he would get in to see her.

But seeing her raised another question. He was sure that her parents would be there. What would he say to them? "Oh I'm your daughter's commanding officer. I know I have a duty of care but I royally screwed up and now she's fighting for her life" or maybe, "Oh I'm your daughter's CO and really want to be her boyfriend!" He didn't know – should he apologise, or should he just take her getting injured as a fact of war? Oh well, he had another 24 hours to decide what to do…

- OG - OG - OG - OG -

It was 17.30 when Captain James ran through the doors of the Queen Elizabeth Hospital in Birmingham. Things had been going slowly until he'd told his NCOs that he wanted to expedite getting everyone settled into Barracks so that he could get to the Hospital to see Molly and Smurf, which was when the boys had miraculously stopped pissing around and moved straight to it; an indication if any were needed of the high regard in which Molly was held within the unit. He'd got the boys settled in, left Corporal Whitten in charge, dropped his bags off and whistled up a taxi, without even bothering to stop for a shower or to unpack. Major Beck had been as good as his word and the paperwork for a temporary leave of absence was waiting for him when he'd arrived at Barracks. He would need to drop it off at Company admin when possible.

He was studying the hospital layout, trying to establish where Molly would be, when a voice called, "Captain! Captain James!" He swung round to find Smurf's mother hurrying across the hospital foyer. She slowed as she reached him. This was unexpected. He hadn't seen her since Geraint's funeral and she looked a lot better than on that day, but still tense, which he supposed was quite understandable given the situation. He wasn't sure how to react to her, how would she feel about him? Geraint had died under his command and Smurf had been injured and now he had this brain issue. Oh well, he was about to find out.

"Captain James! I thought it was you," she just about gushed. This wasn't really the reaction he had antcipated, "Have you just got back?" she asked, gesturing at his uniform, "I suppose you wanted to see Molly and Smurf as soon as possible." He was surprised, how did Mrs Smith know Molly? The question must have shown on his face because Mrs Smith smiled at him, "Oh, I picked Molly and Smurf up from the airfield when they came for their leave, and I met her then. Such a lovely girl. But you know that. I bumped into her mother on the first day here, and I've spent some time sitting at her bedside when her parents weren't here."

She paused and visibly composed herself, "Captain James. I want to thank you for what you did for Dylan. He hasn't really told me what happened to make him break down. He's still really confused, but his surgeon told me that that was normal but that you were the one that flagged that he hadn't been acting right and that he needed a full check. The surgeon told us that the full check-up almost certainly saved his life since the lesion wouldn't have been spotted otherwise." Her hard-won control was starting to desert her, and the tears were starting to fall as she finished, "_Thank you_. I know you tried to save Geraint, and now you _have_ saved Smurf. I wouldn't be able to cope if he had gone as well. If there's ever anything I can do for you…please just ask." And she broke down in tears.

In his wildest dreams of how this conversation could go, Charles had never expected it to go this well. If only his meeting with Molly's parents could go like this, but he wasn't expecting that. He reached out consolingly to Mrs Smith and gently tried to pat her shoulder and comfort her, as she gave up battling her emotions and threw her arms around him in a hug, "Oh, I'm so sorry," she gasped, "It's just been so difficult." She continued, starting to regain control of herself. He was initially tense, but understanding her emotional turmoil he tried to relax and continued to pat her back reassuringly. Finally she managed to regain some control and she pulled back from the embrace. "Anyway," she started in a firmer voice, "you didn't come here to see me. Let me take you up to the ward. Dylan has been down for a procedure but should be back within the next hour or so, so we should go to see Molly. She's not been too well I'm afraid, but she seemed to be looking a bit better today."

- OG - OG - OG - OG -

Charles James stood at the window outside Molly's room in ICU, desperately trying to gather his thoughts. She was lying on a hospital bed unmoving, covered by a white hospital blanket. While she seemed to have less wires sticking out of her than when he had seen her at Bastion, she was still hooked up to a life support machine. Where her skin showed it looked pale, paler than it had looked in the hospital at Bastion, but not as pale as just after she had been shot. A blonde-haired older woman was sitting with her back to him in a chair next to the bed, holding Molly's hand.

After showing him Smurf's and then Molly's room, Mrs Smith (Candy as she insisted he called her) had retired back to Smurf's room to wait for him to come back from his procedure (apparently he was having a lumbar puncture). Seeing his apparent nervousness she had squeezed his arm briefly and told him she would leave him to it and see him later.

He supposed he should get on with this. Taking a deep breath, he straightened his beret, checked his uniform was as tidy as possible and knocked on the door. The woman looked up. "Mrs Dawes?" he asked, "I'm Captain Charles James, Molly's Commanding Officer."

"Nah, I ain't Mrs Dawes," replied the woman, "That's me daughter, Belinda. I'm Molly's Nan, Mrs Smith, but you can call me Marge."

That threw him. All of his carefully prepared lines went out the window, and he stuttered out, "Erm, I'm really very sorry about Molly, Mrs Smith. I did my best to take care of her but I wasn't good enough."

The woman's stern visage relaxed slightly, and she smiled at him sadly, "She's a handful at the best of times, and ain't that the truth! We don't blame you Captain James. In fact, the doctors told us you saved Mol's life, so we should thank you."

This acceptance pushed him over the edge. The guilt had been overwhelming him and everyone was being so understanding. "But you _should_ blame me, Mrs Smith! I was her CO. I'm supposed to protect _her_, not her protect _me_. I'm the reason she was hurt in the first place. It's because I screwed up. Several times!"

The woman, Mrs Smith, gently put Molly's hand back on the bed, stood up and turned fully to face him. "I don't know what 'appened out there Captain James. An' I probably never will. All I know is that when push came to shove you saved Our Molly's life. That's all that matters to us and it's all that should matter to you, an' all. Stop blamin' yerself fer the past and focus on the 'ere an' now, young man. Now, why don't you spend a bit of time wiv 'er. She's bin askin' fer you – assumin' you're "Boss"?"

He was stunned, first by this easy acceptance, and then by the implication that Molly was awake, _and_ was asking for him. "She's conscious?" he gasped.

"Well, not at the moment, as you can see. She's woken a few times today for short periods. She's well confused. But she's asked fer you a few times. Now come an' sit 'ere and you can spell me while I get some tea. Do you want a cuppa?"

He could barely answer her, so focused was he on getting to Molly. "Er, no thanks" he managed as he went to sit next to Molly and grasped her hand.

Marge watched him with a small smile. _There's more goin' on 'ere than meets the eye. Still, at least 'e's got his priorities right_ she thought as he gently grasped her granddaughter's hand and told her, "I'm here Molly, I told you I'd be here for you." Then, sensing that her granddaughter was in good hands, she headed out for a cup of tea and a fag. And she just thought she might call Belinda as well and tell her about the rather dishy new addition to the Molly Dawes fan club!

- OG - OG - OG - OG -

Molly's rather gorgeous CO had been sitting at her bedside for about 20 minutes when Marge Smith returned. It had been really great to get some fresh air and enjoy a cup of tea and a fag. Since Molly had been returned to the UK Belinda and her had been taking turns in spending time with Molly; someone needed to look after the kids, and even though Dave was clearly trying, he sucked at cooking and cleaning and wasn't one of life's copers. In fact his ability to cope had taken a bad hit with Molly's injury altogether. While he had come to the hospital on the first visit with Belinda, he had been so upset by the sight of Molly (and it was true she had looked, and continued to look, pretty awful) that he had not been able to face coming back since then.

So Belinda and Marge had taken over the responsibility; keen not to leave Molly on her own at any point just in case she woke up, or the worst happened. Shazza, to give her her due (which Marge did not like doing one bit!) had been fantastic. Helping with cooking and cleaning and generally coming round to keep morale up. And it was tough – there was no getting away from that. Breaking the news to the kids had been the worst. Bella was distraught, and the younger kids didn't understand. Plus they had all wanted to come and see her, but taking five kids on the train up and down from Birmingham was just out of the question. It wasn't only the logistics, it was the cost. Bella had come up once for a few hours, but had clearly been shattered by seeing the big sister she had often fought with, but always loved and respected, lying on a bed fighting for her life, and she hadn't asked to come up again.

Marge wasn't getting any younger and all the travel and the stress _was_ getting a bit wearing. She wondered if things might change now there was a new player in the game. She had decided not to tell Belinda about the dashing Captain, just in case he didn't stay, although she had a gut feeling he was the real deal.

She paused outside to watch them. He was gently massaging Molly's hand with the back of his thumb and talking to her. She knew it! There was definitely something going on there. This wasn't normal behaviour for a commanding officer; not from what she understood anyway. It was kind of sweet though, so she wouldn't call him on it just now. As she made to re-enter the room, she noticed the senior consultant entering the ward by the nurses' station. It must be time for evening rounds and he should be along in about 10-15 minutes hopefully. It would be good to get an update and see if Molly was actually better this time or if it was a false dawn again.

As she got closer, she realised he was telling her his news. What a darling! Apparently someone called Kinders had called someone called Fingers a minger which had nearly sparked a fight! She cleared her throat, and he must have jumped about four feet in the air as if she'd caught him doing something dodgy! She grinned at him, and he gave a half smile back, gently placing Molly's hand back at her side and relinquishing the chair, "Now I know where Molly gets her mischievous streak from Mrs Smith."

"And don't you believe it Captain! Taught 'er everything I know!

"If you have a chat with the nurses they should be able to rustle you up another chair. Then you can tell me all about yerself, cos I reckon we're gonna be 'ere fer a while!" Like a good little soldier he hastened to obey her command. _This one's a good 'un an' all_ she thought, _just how does Molly find them?_

- OG - OG - OG - OG -

Captain James looked up from where he had been talking to Molly's grandmother, who had turned out to be great company and a real laugh, about how Molly came to join the Army (_threw up in the doorway of the recruiting office, did she? He was going to have lots of fun with that nugget of information when she woke up!_), as a tall man clad in a white coat over a grey suit and with greying black hair and piercing blue eyes appeared in the doorway, followed by a gaggle of nurses and a younger woman, also in a white coat, with a stethoscope around her neck.

"Ah, you must be Captain James" exclaimed the man, walking into the room, "My wife told me you'd be here soon. I'm Richard Matthews, senior ICU consultant."

Captain James was a bit shocked, to say the least, but he stood up and faced the man, reaching out to shake the proffered hand, "I'm sorry sir, your wife?" he asked.

"Yes," replied Dr Matthews, "You probably know her as Major Watts, but around here she's known as Dr Watts and is deputy head of this hospital's A&E department. She's been asking about Private Dawes every day and told me a little about her so I know that she'll be pleased that I've seen you!"

"Uh" replied Captain James articulately. Then, making a conscious effort to marshal his scattered thoughts, he managed, "Major Watts is _your wife_? I wondered how she managed to get all the info on Molly. Now I know. Please thank your wife, sir. I think I would have gone mad by now without her updates. In fact, while I was in Cyprus I thought I _would_ go mad!"

The consultant smiled. "I'll tell her Captain. I understand that both Private Dawes and Private Smith owe you their lives. It's a pleasure to meet you. And now let's see how Private Dawes is doing shall we?" and with that he lifted up her chart and began to examine it. Charles and Marge stood back away from the bed while the doctors and nurses examined Molly and pored over her chart. They drew the curtains around the bed, presumably so that they could look at her wounds.

Eventually the curtains were pulled back and most of the doctors and nurses left the room, but Dr Matthews and a nurse clad in green fatigues stayed behind to talk to them, "Well, the good news is that the infection seems to be fading, but her blood pressure is low. Now that could be down to a few things, but one of those could be that she is bleeding again internally. We are going to send her for an ultrasound to find out. At this point, and with the number of procedures she's had and the severity of her injuries, it's better to be safe than sorry. The team will be in to collect her within 30 minutes and she should be back within the hour unless it _is_ internal bleeding in which case she'll go straight to theatre. Whichever way, we'll keep you informed." The consultant gave a sad smile, "I'm sorry Captain that we haven't been able to stabilise her for you, but we're doing the best we can. And she's a real fighter as well."

"It's all right sir. I think I speak for both of us when I say thank you for your efforts." He looked across at Marge, and she nodded her head but was unable to speak.

With a small smile, the consultant took his leave and Captain James looked across concernedly at Molly's grandmother. He could tell that she was barely hanging on. He could only imagine what it was like for her. He had known Molly for less than six months and he already loved her. How must her family feel when they had lived with her for 19 years? Also, over four tours he had seen situations like this many times. Some had gone badly, like Geraint, but he had seen many badly injured soldiers survive as well. He knew that the longer Molly lasted the more likely she was to make it. His girl was a fighter and she was still fighting. It was the job of a soldier in war to support the people who needed it; Molly had taught him that. He realised that he needed to be here for her family as much as her. She would need both them and him over the course of her recovery.

Decision made, Captain James reached across and pulled Molly's Grandmother into a hug. "Molly's a fighter," he told her, "and she's still fighting. She'll get through this. You'll see." After initially hesitating, the old woman clung onto him, "It's just terrible seeing 'er like this. So 'elpless. I'm 'er Nan. I'm supposed to be able to 'elp 'er but I can't do anythin'. I feel so useless."

Charles smiled bitterly into the old woman's hair, "I know exactly how you feel. I would do anything for our positions to be reversed. I would give anything if it was me in that bed and her standing here whole." Eventually they moved apart, and returned to their vigil, but now with a new understanding of each other. About 10 minutes later Molly's bed was wheeled out for her test and 20 minutes after that a nurse came in to tell them that there was indeed internal bleeding and that Molly was being taken to theatre. They were told it would be several hours before she came back.

Charles looked over at Marge as the nurse left the room. She looked terrible, and he asked, "Where are you staying?" thinking that he could stay here while she went for a rest. "We can't afford to stay in a hotel so me or Belinda have just bin stayin' at the hospital. There's a relative's quiet room and we've bin kipping there, or just in 'ere when she's bad. I've bin 'ere since yesterday, but Belinda is coming up tomorrow morning to take over."

He was stunned and furious at the same time, "You mean no-one's offered you any accommodation? But they must have relatives' accommodation here! Leave this to me. I'll be back in a minute." And with that he strode out.

- OG - OG - OG - OG -

Marge was a bit flummoxed by Captain James' reaction, but really impressed. _He was a good 'un, that was for sure._ She hadn't expected anyone as "establishment" as him to stand up for her, that was for certain, but he had. Maybe that's what Molly saw in him. Maybe Molly saw beyond his posh, public school exterior and had seen the human being underneath. She hadn't expected him to hug her, although it was hugely appreciated as she was finding it really difficult to cope with Molly's new setback, and then for him to flip over her sleeping arrangements clearly showed that this young man had a much greater capacity to care than she had given him credit for. Maybe it was the uniform; while he looked damn good in it, maybe it was difficult for her to see beyond the fact that he was a soldier. She'd have to think about that a bit more, but something told her she'd be seeing a lot more of Charles James so there'd be plenty of time to consider his hidden depths. She took a seat to wait for him, conscious only then of how tired and wrung out she was.

About ten minutes later he strode back in. "OK, I've arranged a room for you tonight in the hospital's relatives' quarters, and one for Molly's mother tomorrow night. They normally charge for them, but you've got them for free." Seeing her open her mouth, he continued, "You're knackered and you aren't going to do Molly any good if you end up in here yourself. You get a good night's sleep and I'll stay here with her, and if you could relieve me at 7am tomorrow, since I have to go back to Bicester for a few hours tomorrow morning. Don't worry, if anything happens they will contact you immediately, but you deserve a good night's sleep."

Well he was pretty impressive when he took charge. Now she could understand the attraction, but where was he going to sleep?

"Oh don't worry about me," he replied to her question, "after nearly 10 years in the Army I can sleep anywhere." And then he continued, "Now, Molly's going to be in theatre for another few hours and it's nuts to stay here, so why don't I treat you to a slap up dinner in the hospital canteen?! We'll tell them where we are in case they need to contact us."

He seemed to have thought of everything, so there was only one possible answer, "Ooh Charlie. You really know how to show a girl a good time!"

- OG - OG - OG - OG -

6.30am came a bit early for Marge Smith. Dinner last night had been fun. They had bumped into the other Mrs Smith, Smurf's mum, and invited her along, and she had joined them. Apparently Smurf was sleeping his lumbar puncture off. She bet he was; Nelly Rogers had been diagnosed with MS and had had a lumbar puncture and hadn't enjoyed it one bit. She had had a cracking headache for the next three days, so she reckoned young Smurf was better off sleeping. They had just managed to squeeze into the restaurant before it closed, and Captain James had indeed pushed the boat out, treating them to a three course meal of school dinner food!

But it had been so good to get out of the ward, and she had enjoyed talking to Candy, someone who had also been through what she was going through, and Charlie had continued to be a good companion – he was obviously someone who was socially confident – she supposed you probably had to be in in his job. He kept the conversation going when it lagged by dropping in anecdotes about Molly and Smurf, and even Geraint sometimes, giving tantalising insights into a world to which neither Mrs Smith was privy.

When they had got back to the room about 8.30pm Molly was still not back, but Captain James immediately got an update from the nurses and was told she was on her way back and that the operation had been a success, and she had duly been wheeled in about 10 minutes later. They had sat by her bed talking for another half hour, at which point the surgeon had come in and confirmed that the operation had been a success and told them that now it was just a matter of waiting. After that Charlie had chased her out of the room and told her to get some sleep and reassured her that he would stay with Molly all night.

The relatives' quarters had been perfectly comfortable, although all she wanted was a bed by that time. She had taken some time out to call Belinda and tell her about the evening, although she hadn't passed on her suspicion that Captain James was a lot closer to Molly than he let on. Her female intuition was shouting out to her that he was something more than her CO, but she would be interested to see whether Belinda came to the same conclusion. However, she did tell her about his visit and the fact that he had gone to bat for the Dawes family and secured accommodation for them, and that he was staying with Molly overnight. Belinda was initially disappointed that she wouldn't get to meet him tomorrow, until Marge told her that he intended to come back in the afternoon. They had caught up a bit on what the kids were up to and then Marge had crashed.

She walked into Molly's room at 6.50am to find him in roughly the same position as she had left him last night. "Don't you ever sleep?" she demanded.

He looked at her and smiled, "I did get a bit, but I wake up with the daylight. I think it's an Army thing!"

"Has there been any change?" she asked, and he replied, "Not really, but she's been a bit restless a couple of times and I really thought she might wake up an hour ago, but she relaxed again and now she's sleeping. Lazy cow!" He delivered this insult in such a deadpan voice that she couldn't help but laugh. "The nurses have been monitoring her regularly though and apparently her condition is improving, so fingers crossed." He looked at his watch, "I'm going to make tracks Marge, the sooner I get back to the Barracks, the sooner I can get back here."

She went over and hugged him, "Thank you for coming Charlie, and thank you for 'elpin' me out. I really needed that night's sleep. And thank you for bein' 'ere for Molly. It looks like she was very lucky that she got you as her Captain."

"Actually I was the lucky one Marge. Please tell Mrs Dawes that I'll be back this afternoon, if that's OK?" he asked, pulling away from her.

"Why wouldn't it be?"

He looked down and chewed his lip slightly, "Well, you know, she might be angry at me."

She glared at him, "I told you to forget whatever you blame yerself for Charlie, and don't think you're too old for me to put you across my knee, young man! She's dyin' to meet you actually. Now get goin' and I'll see you soon!"

He smiled weakly at her, told her "You've got my mobile number if anything happens," threw one last glance at Molly and left.

She walked over to her granddaughter, sat down and grasped her hand. "You got yerself a real good 'un there Mols, an' no mistake."

- OG - OG - OG - OG -

Molly Dawes opened her eyes to bright sunlight coming through the windows. _Windows? Where was she?_ She looked around to see a white painted room, and was conscious of the rhythmic beep of a life support machine. Then she became conscious of herself. She was lying on her back, propped up slightly. She could feel various needles in her body – her arms, her neck, but no pain. What had happened? Where was she? Someone was holding her hand. "Boss?" she asked, although the word was barely intelligible and came out as a rasp. The person holding her hand stood up and she saw her Nan lean over her.

"Mols?" she asked, before leaning over and pressing a button near the bed. "Oh, thank God. You've had us all really worried Molly Dawes." She reached out, and ran her hand through Molly's hair like she used to do to relax her when she was young.

Molly swallowed and tried to lick her lips, "Nan?" she asked, and this time it came out more intelligibly, although still very quiet.

"Of course, you silly girl. Your mum'll be 'ere later. She's on 'er way." Her Nan had tears in her eyes. Just as she finished her sentence, the door opened and a nurse ran in. She was wearing blue surgical scrubs. Nan swung towards her and told her, "She just woke up."

The nurse smiled radiantly and said, "Hi Molly, I'm Rachel. Welcome back to the land of the living. Are you in any pain?"

Molly had to think about that one. She couldn't really feel anything, but she couldn't move that much. "No, bu' I can' move" she slurred.

"Don't worry about that," replied Rachel, "You've got a number of injuries and we're keeping you immobilised to help with healing. You'll be able to move soon."

Molly digested that. It felt difficult. As though she were thinking through treacle. She looked at her Nan again. "Mum? Bossman?"

Her Nan smiled. "Your Mum's bin 'ere love. We're taking it in turns and she's due 'ere in a few hours. You just missed Captain James. 'E sat with you all last night. 'E left an hour ago but said 'e'd be back this afternoon."

She watched, touched, as her granddaughter smiled as she drifted back off to sleep. _Oh yes, there was definitely something going on here_. Molly's reaction to the news that her CO had spent the night at her bedside confirmed it. She turned to the nurse, who was checking Molly's blood pressure and making some notes on her chart. "It's a better sign, Mrs Smith" she told her, "she seemed less disorientated. Hopefully she is turning the corner. I'll get a doctor in here as soon as possible."

- OG - OG - OG - OG -

The cab was just turning into the barracks when Charles' mobile phone vibrated. He pulled it out and looked at it. Unknown number. He opened the message. _She woke up again. More lucid. She asked for you. Told her you'd be here this afternoon. Marge_.

_Thank God_, thought Charles. He knew that this might be a major turning point for Molly. With her waking up, and being more lucid, things were looking much more positive. At least that was what the registrar had told him last night. It was interesting, they were prepared to talk to him a lot more than they were to her family. Maybe it was the uniform or maybe they still recognised his duty of care and reckoned that as someone who had seen it before he would be better-placed to cope. She had told him that if Molly woke up and was less disorientated that would be a really good sign. Fingers crossed. And toes. And everything else. At least now he had some good news for the boys. And Qaseem.

- OG - OG - OG - OG -

By 14.00 Charles was on his way back to Birmingham. He'd just got back just in time to join the Platoon on their pre-scheduled morning PT session at 08.00. He had been pleased to be able to pass on some more upbeat news on Molly and Smurf. The boys were keen to see both of them but he had had to tell them that until they got out of ICU, visitors were restricted. He had mentioned that he was happy to take a card or cards though and the boys thought that was a great idea and made sure he had cards for both of them. Several of the lads in 2 Section had also written letters for Molly, which he was sure she'd be touched by. The date for their homecoming parade had been set for next Tuesday, 22 April; after which they would all go their separate ways for a while. That meant he really needed to get a move on with the post-tour paperwork which would need to be submitted before he went on leave. As a result he had a bunch of reports and his laptop with him. At least he would have plenty to do while he waited for Molly to wake up!

He had made sure that he had submitted his leave papers to Company Admin. He was due over a month's leave anyway, from being on tour, and he had plenty of additional leave stored up as well. He would make sure that he was there for Molly during her recovery. He owed her that much. In fact he owed her a lot more. He hoped she wouldn't be too affected by her injuries. He was sure that she would be chomping at the bit to get up and about as soon as possible and he reckoned the enforced bed rest was going to be really tough for her. He'd have to make sure she was kept busy. Between her family, him and the boys he was sure that they should be able to keep her spirits up. He hoped so, anyway.

He was worried about the continued separation from her family. He knew she was very close to her mum and grandmother and that she loved all the little ones as well, and she would miss them terribly if she couldn't see them. Marge had already hinted that the trips to and from Birmingham were putting a lot of pressure on the Dawes' finances, and she had basically told him that they couldn't afford to stay overnight, which was why they stayed in or outside Molly's room at the hospital. Was there any way he could help with that? He wasn't sure what he could do to help with transport, apart from to help drive them back and forth but he didn't have a car at the moment so he would have to think about that.

Maybe he _could_ help with accommodation though. He didn't fancy commuting to and from Bicester all the time so he had already considered renting a room in Birmingham close to the hospital. What if he hired a flat? Then whichever Dawes was staying in Birmingham could stay there as well as him. That could work. He would have to be careful how he pitched it though – he knew the Dawes would not respond well to charity. Maybe he could suggest that he was going to be staying there anyway so they could just stay over. He'd have to give it some thought. He would ask the nurses and doctors at the hospital; with lots of military and military reserve people working there, who would be liable to move around a lot, they must know the best places and rates.

He spent the rest of the journey catching up on his sleep. Knowing that Molly was in a better state was a real weight off. His key concerns now were that Molly continued to improve, and that his meeting with Mrs Dawes went as well as his meeting with her mother. It would take a few more days before Molly was fully with it, he thought, but he hoped to have that important conversation with her that he'd promised himself back at Bastion.

* * *

><p><strong>AN 1 Thanks again to Marc for his great advice on trauma injuries and treatment. Again, all mistakes are my own.**

**A/N 2 I've chosen Bicester as Major Beck's company's home base. It's within an hour and a half's drive of Birmingham. There is an existing Army base there.**

**A/N 3 Smurf's condition: brain lesions can be down to a number of conditions including: trauma, infection, cancer, vascular, neurological, genetic, etc. He's having tests to eliminate some of the key causes. The Lumbar Puncture would eliminate neurological causes, but if they are eliminated he's likely to need further tests which could include operations on his brain…he's not out of the woods yet!**

**A/N 4 Regarding Molly's rather protracted recovery, this is quite normal after such significant trauma and the cardiac arrests. I recovered from a major trauma in 2001 and I was told subsequently that I regained consciousness several times for short periods before the first time that I actually remember regaining consciousness and I have no memory of people visiting me during those times. I faded in and out for another 24 hours before managing to stay awake for a prolonged period. I'm basing Molly's recovery on my experiences. **


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I don't own Our Girl. Everything you recognise was created by Tony Grounds and is owned by the BBC.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 4<strong>

Belinda Dawes looked at the sleeping form of her eldest daughter and, for the first time in what seemed like an age, she felt hope.

When Captain Marsh had knocked on their door step at 2pm on Sunday afternoon she had had a terrible inkling of trouble. The Captain was not wearing uniform, but there weren't too many young, well turned out, grey suited men calling at her front door and she had known straight away that something was very wrong. Luckily the kids had all been out playing with friends and Dave had been watching the football at the pub, leaving her, the baby and her mother in the flat. Thank God Mum had been there otherwise she didn't know how she would have coped.

When he had introduced himself she had known straight away that something was wrong. She had asked, "Is it Molly?" and he had answered quietly, "I'm afraid so, Mrs Dawes." As her face crumpled and she lost strength in her legs he had stepped forward to support her and quickly added, "She's alive though, but she has been very badly injured and she is in a critical condition." He had led her into the living room and to the sofa, and then her Mum had come downstairs wondering what the commotion was. Seeing Belinda and the man in the suit, she had immediately also asked whether it was Molly and been told the same by the officer. They had hugged each other like they were drowning as Captain Marsh had offered to make a cup of tea, which they both accepted.

When he had returned with three cups of tea he had told them a little more about what happened, including that Molly had been given life-saving treatment by her commanding officer and then again in the rescue helicopter and at the hospital at Camp Bastion. Belinda had sworn to herself then and there that if she ever met Molly's commanding officer she was going to give him such a big kiss that he wouldn't know what day of the week it was! Captain Marsh had explained that Molly would be evacuated back to the UK as soon as her condition stabilised enough to travel, and that the Army would see to getting Mrs Dawes, and whoever else she wanted, up to Birmingham to see her. He had talked her through the situation a bit more, given her a sheaf of contact details and information, and left, making sure to leave his card in case she had any questions.

She didn't play favourites in the family and wouldn't want to say which child was her favourite but if she did have a favourite then it _would_ be Molly. It wasn't just that Molly was the eldest, and a wonderful daughter who was like a third parent to the younger kids (effectively second given that she was married to Dave), or that she was the closest to Belinda in age. No, it was just that Molly was a bit special.

She knew that Molly hadn't had the best childhood; Belinda had tried as hard as she could but they didn't have a lot of money, and Dave was never a great dad. But Molly had always done her best with what she had. Her daughter had gone through her life doing her best. While some kids would sit there and complain about their crappy life, and just take the dole, her Molly had tried to do something about it. She'd got a job in that crummy nail bar so that she could contribute to the housekeeping and then got a job in the Army when it all turned to shit. And she was still contributing. She made sure to transfer a few hundred pounds a month from her wages to Belinda, even though Dave knew nothing about it. And Molly was slowly dragging them up as well. She didn't know what Molly had said to Dave when she was on leave, but it was like he was a totally different man now, and Molly had done that. And she'd supported her in pursuing her teaching assistant job when Belinda hadn't even had the guts to support her own daughter initially when she joined the Army. Molly had proved that she was a better woman than her mother.

And Molly had done well in the Army. While Molly had been out one morning during her leave, Smurf had told her a bit about their life in Afghanistan, and about how Molly had saved his life. _Her daughter had saved a life_. She couldn't be prouder in that moment. He had told her how initially it had been tough but that Molly had now charmed all the men in her section and in her whole platoon and that now she was one of the boys. This didn't surprise her because she knew her daughter was a special person.

Seeing her in the hospital had been terrible. Her normally mobile face was slack and her beautiful and expressive green eyes were closed. But worse was the pallor of her skin and the number of wires coming out from under the blanket. When they had initially got there Molly had been deep in the throws of an infection and suffering from internal bleeding, and the life support machine beeps were irregular and the low blood pressure alarm kept going off. It had truly looked like she was at Death's door, and in fact the doctors had subsequently confirmed that it had been very touch and go. On the journey up to Birmingham, she had been bracing herself for how Molly would look when she saw her, but the reality of how she _had_ looked was orders of magnitude worse than even Belinda could have imagined.

Dave hadn't been able to cope. When Molly was wheeled off for an operation, he had left the room and told her he couldn't come back. She reckoned he had been thinking about some of the terrible rows he'd had with Molly over the last few years. She remembered when he'd tried to bar the family from seeing her after she wouldn't marry Artan. He had eventually backed down, but he and Molly hadn't spoken for months. She had gone to sit with him outside the room and been surprised to see tears in his eyes. He had looked broken and had told her, "I never got to tell her how proud I was of her. I never once told her I loved her Belinda, and now I might never be able to." She hadn't known what to say. What do you say to a father that realises he has done badly by his daughter, but possibly too late to do anything about it?

Since then she and her mother had tried to rotate "Molly duty" as it were. Dave had done his best at home with the kids, and Shazza had been a Godsend. Her Mum had been fantastic, but she could tell that Mum was right on the edge and when she had come to take over from Belinda the other day she had looked exhausted and strung out. Her phone updates from Birmingham had been getting more and more downbeat as though she were losing hope; even though Molly had woken for short periods she was so confused and her speech was slurred and difficult to understand. It was so unlike her Mum to lose hope; she was one of the strongest people she knew. But all that had changed today. The news that Molly had woken and talked with Mum this morning was the most welcome, but the fact that Captain James had turned up, and that he had made sure that Mum got a good night's sleep was great too.

When she had got to the hospital today, her daughter had looked better. And so had her Mum. It was 10.30am and her Mum looked rested for the first time in days. She had given Belinda a big hug and told her, "It's lookin' up love. Molly's better and Captain Gorgeous'll be back this afternoon. You're in fer a treat, let me tell ya!" It was great to see Mum's sense of humour coming back. They had talked briefly with Mum telling her about the room that Captain James had organised for her for tonight, and then Mum had kissed Molly, kissed her and left.

Now it was 1pm. She'd just finished the minging hospital lunch, although the apple pie and custard wasn't bad, and was standing by the end of Molly's bed, thinking that her daughter looked a much better colour, when Molly's eyes flickered open.

"Mum?" her daughter's voice was reedy and hoarse, but to hear it when she never thought she'd hear it again was like all her Christmases had come at once.

"Mols?" she ran around the bed and pushed the emergency button that they'd been told to press if there was any change in Molly's condition. She reached out to touch her daughter's face, cupping her cheek. It felt warm and alive, "My baby! I was so worried…" Her daughter's green eyes were fixed on her as though drinking her in, and she licked her lips, "I'm sorry Mum…"

It was too much, "Oh Mols, don't… I love you honey." Molly's hand twitched and she gave up her grip on her face to pick it up in both of hers. Just then a red headed nurse ran in through the door. Seeing mother and daughter together she broke out in a smile and told them, "I'll leave you to it. Back in a minute."

Her daughter's hand tightened briefly in hers, "I love you too Mum." She paused, "Was Nan here?" Her voice was weak.

She smiled at her daughter, still cradling her hand, "She was sweetie. Your dad was here as well, and Bella. And your Captain James was here last night too. He said he'd be back today." Molly sighed, "Bossman…"

The doors to the room opened and in rushed Dr Matthews, accompanied by the red-headed nurse. "Ah, Private Dawes, nice to finally meet you. I'm Dr Matthews, senior ICU consultant. Now I imagine you're quite tired so please tell me if you feel any pain?"

"No pain, sir," replied Molly, "m' throat hurts though."

The doctor replied, shooting Belinda a grin, "That's perfectly normal. Nurse Richardson here will give you a bit of water to just swish around your mouth. Try not to swallow too much though." With that he approached the bed and looked at her chart while the nurse brought over a glass of water and gently tipped Molly's head so she could sip it.

The conversation seemed to have tired out Molly, since she laid her head back on her pillow with a deep sigh. Belinda could see her fighting to keep her eyelids open, and squeezed her hand, "Don't worry Mols, sleep now. I'll be here when you wake up again."

As Molly faded back into unconsciousness Dr Mathews turned to Belinda and smiled, "Her temperature is normal and so is her blood pressure Mrs Dawes. I don't want to speak too soon, but I am very hopeful that she has turned a corner here. The fact that she is able to speak normally, answer questions and that she recognised you is also a positive. We will continue to monitor of course. Now I'll leave you to it and see you later this evening." Nodding at her, he left.

- OG - OG - OG - OG -

Charles James arrived at Molly's room to see a blond woman in her early forties sitting by Molly's bed. He felt a slight sense of déjà vu and hoped that this meeting went as well as last night's had. As with last night, he straightened his uniform and his beret and took a deep breath before knocking on the door.

The woman looked up and he stepped into the room. "Mrs Dawes?" he asked, "I'm Captain Charles James, Molly's Commanding Officer."

The woman gave him a beaming smile and stood up to greet him, "Oh Captain James, I'm so happy to meet you at last. My Mum's told me all about you. We're so grateful that you saved Molly's life. Thank you so, so much." With that she crossed the room and threw her arms around him. Once again he was dumbstruck. He returned the hug, surprised at how demonstrative the older Dawes women were, particularly compared to Molly. But then again it _was_ a stressful situation and to be fair their situation in Afghanistan may have suppressed Molly's normal behaviour as well. Maybe they'd be less touchy feely when things calmed down a bit, or maybe she'd be more.

He told her, "I'm sorry I didn't do a better job of protecting Molly, Mrs Dawes." She pushed away, and faced him. "My Mum told me you were feeling guilty about that. An' I'm gonna tell you exactly what she did. WE DON'T CARE. You saved her life Captain James – and that's what matters to us." And here her composure deserted her and she broke down, "My little girl is still alive. She came home, and it's all thanks to you. Thank you, thank you, thank you." She finished, crying into his shoulder.

He was embarrassed. She didn't know the whole story and he couldn't tell her until he'd had a chance to talk to Molly and, whether she knew it or not, he still believed it was his fault. He had delayed telling Molly about Rebecca and Sam, waiting for a right time which never came (and probably would never have come), prompting their row and then Smurf seeing them when they made up, and then he'd left her unsupported when Smurf broke down. Whether he'd then saved her or not (and he was conscious of the fact he'd missed the exit wound), she wouldn't have been in that situation if he hadn't fucked up in the first place. And even if he had saved her, he thought, he was just doing what any soldier would do for a comrade. If anyone had really saved her it had been Major Watts and the crew of the MERT.

He continued to hold and try to comfort Molly's mother and told her, "Actually Mrs Dawes it's the crew of the rescue helicopter you should be thanking. They did more than anyone to bring Molly back safely."

She sniffled, "I can't thank them, but I'm thanking you Captain James." She started to pull herself together but was very conscious of the fact that she was being hugged by a very attractive young man. Her mother hadn't been joking when she said he was gorgeous. Some girl was going to be a very lucky cow and she found herself a bit jealous of whoever that would be. She was loathe to move away but eventually decided that she had to let go of her daughter's commanding officer. He was a comforting presence though, and she could understand what her mother was on about.

She moved back and looked up at him, and he gave her a quite dishy lopsided smile. There were certainly worse people to spend a day stuck in a hospital room with. She gestured for him to sit down, "So tell me about Molly, Captain James…"

- OG - OG - OG - OG -

This time when Molly woke up the windows were dark, but her room was still lit up by the lights of the ward outside. This time she was much more conscious of her body, and particularly a dull pain in her stomach, shoulder and thigh. She wondered if this was what had woken her up? She was conscious of somebody slumped in the chair next to her bed and looked over to her left, even though she could still not move her body, expecting to see her mother. But it wasn't her.

"Bossman?" she whispered. She tried to talk normally, but it came out as a whisper. It didn't matter though, because he jerked upright, instantly alert, with his eyes flicking open. "Molly," he gasped, seeing her eyes open, and she saw a radiant smile cross his face. He stood up and approached her, grasping her left hand in both of his. "Oh thank God," he continued, bringing her hand up to his lips and kissing it. Electricity seemed to shoot through her arm, and her eyes widened at this totally non-professional behaviour. "We've been so worried about you." Then he seemed to collect himself, and shot her a teasing grin, "It's about time you woke up Dawesy, you've been lazing around for far too long!"

"How long?" she croaked out. He released her hand and moved to stand by her head, pressing a button on the wall and then he leaned down and kissed her forehead, smoothing her hair out of the way with his hand. The feel of his lips against her skin was so warming. She felt so loved. He whispered, seemingly choked up with emotion, "It's been 10 days Molly. Please don't do that again, I was _so_ worried!" He had tears in his eyes.

She didn't know what to say. Seeing him so vulnerable like this was an eye opener for her. This wasn't the Captain James she knew. Her Captain James was an alpha male. He was in command and people deferred to him. This man was different, but he was more attractive for it. The Captain James she had come to know was commanding and professional and cold on the outside. This Captain James was warm and loving and vulnerable. This one showed everything that she had hoped lurked beneath the surface in her one. And this one surely cared for her.

As she was musing on this new Captain James, a nurse entered the room. It was a different one from those she had seen before. She didn't remember too much about the first one, _Rachel_, she thought she was called. It was a bit blurry. The second one, when her Mum had been there, had been a red head she thought – _Nurse Richardson_, that was it. This one was a small, slightly butch girl with short blond hair, but a friendly smile, also dressed in blue surgical scrubs and with a stethoscope around her neck.

"Oh, Private Dawes. Excellent to see you awake. I'm Joanna. Are you OK? Do you need anything?" she asked with a friendly smile and a strong Scottish accent.

She mulled that over. "Some water," she requested, "and a painkiller."

The nurse's face clouded. "Are you in a lot of pain?" she asked, "and if so, where?"

"Constant ache," she told Joanna, dredging up the description from the medical textbooks she remembered reading for her CMT courses, "shoulder, stomach and thigh."

Joanna's lips pursed, "I'd better call the duty doctor then," she said, "Bear with me," she added, "Captain James, could you please give her some water from the jug over there?" she asked, gesturing to the cup on the bedside table, "Not too much please; just enough to wet her mouth." And with that she turned and left the room.

The Bossman had moved to pour some water into a glass and now moved towards her. He gently tilted and supported her head and let her get a small mouthful of water, before taking the glass away. She felt a little bit of water dribble down her cheek and cringed with embarrassment, but he gently dabbed it away with a tissue he pulled from a box on the table. Noticing her discomfort he told her, "Don't worry Dawesy, you aren't the first soldier I've met who couldn't hold their drink!" She smiled at him, grateful for his attempt to lighten the atmosphere, and he gave her a half smile and a quick peck on the forehead.

He sat down next to her and grasped her left hand in his, gently massaging the back of her hand with his thumbs. "Now, while we wait for the doctor to arrive what would you like to do? I've got letters here from your adoring fans that I could read to you, or we could play I-spy or you could help me with my end of tour reports?"

She grinned at him tiredly. "You really know how to show a girl a good time, Bossman. I hope you come up with better ideas for our date!"

Just then Nurse Joanna returned, followed by a young-looking man with sandy hair in green army scrubs. He introduced himself, "Private Dawes, I'm Captain Jones. Nurse Atkins tells me you are in some pain. Can you describe how you are feeling?" He picked up her chart from the end of the bed and examined it while she tried to describe the pain she felt. He turned and gave some instructions to Joanna who vanished, and then he started to pull the curtains around her bed.

Captain James, reacting to the implication that he wanted to give her some privacy, let her hand go and scooted his chair back, but stopped when she exclaimed, "Oi! I was enjoyin' that. You can stay."

The two men shared a look and Captain James asked, "Are you sure Molly? I think the doctor wants to examine you." And Captain Jones confirmed, "I just need to check whether your drips and drains are OK, Private Dawes."

She could feel the energy draining out of her, but the feel of his hands on hers had been so relaxing and loving and she wanted that feeling back. She addressed the doctor, "It's OK sir, he can stay." Again she was conscious of the two men sharing a look and then Captain James moved his chair back to the bed but turned it so that he was facing away from her. She sighed – _always the gentleman_. But he had taken her hand again so she supposed she couldn't complain. The feel of his thumbs massaging her hand soothed her as the doctor performed a quick check on her and checked that her drips, drains and catheters were all working. Then he hooked up a new IV packet brought in by the nurse, checked that she was covered by her sheet, drew back the curtains, bid her goodnight and left. Joanna asked that if she needed anything then would she please ask Captain James to give a call and, after one last smile, also left.

She could feel the effects of the painkiller almost immediately and that, combined with what his hands were doing, was quickly sending her to sleep, "Boss" she whispered, and he immediately got to his feet and leaned over her, "What is it Molly?" he asked, concerned. "Can I get a goodnight kiss?" she asked, smiling up at him cheekily. He grinned down at her, and she saw the worry falling away, "Evil Minx." He told her, "I can see you're feeling better!" but he immediately leant down and gave her a peck on the lips and pulled back slightly, "When you get better there's more where that came from Dawesy." She grinned tiredly, "Promises, promises boss." The last thing she saw as she faded out was his happy smile.

- OG - OG - OG - OG -

Belinda Dawes arrived the next morning at 6.30am, the time they'd agreed on when she said good night to Captain James last night. The Captain was sitting in a chair in Molly's room doing what looked like paperwork, in pretty much the same position as she'd left him last night, although the stack of completed files now looked larger than what was obviously the "to do" pile.

"Don't you sleep?" she asked, unknowingly mimicking her mother's comment from the previous day. He turned to her and smiled, "I wake up with the daylight," he told her, putting down the file he was working on and rising stiffly to his feet, "I think it's an army thing."

"Oh sit down!" she told him, but he shuffled the chairs around so that she could be next to Molly's bed, before inviting her to sit. He didn't sit back down again until she had.

"Ooh, ain't you a gentleman!" she told him jokily as she smiled at him.

He smiled at her and told her, "You'll be pleased to know that this lazy little madam woke up once during the night and was quite lucid. But we got some more drugs into her and luckily that shut her up again."

"Oi! I 'eard that!" came from the bed, causing Belinda to jump to her feet. Her daughter's eyes were closed but there was a smile on her face. Captain James set his paperwork down, "About time you stopped pretending to be asleep, Dawesy!" he told her, "Your Mum's been really worried about you."

Molly's eyes flicked open, "Sorry Mum," she said contritely, then looking at Captain James, "'Ow did you know I was awake, Bossman?"

The Captain had started to collect up his paperwork and was putting it away in a black rucksack as he answered her, "Your breathing changed Dawesy. You were snoring like a chainsaw before and then you stopped!"

"I was not," she sputtered, glaring at him, "I don't snore!" he simply grinned at her, packing the rest of his papers away. Belinda watched this interplay with interest. She didn't see this side of Molly much, but the banter between her and Smurf had been fun. But this was a little different to what she had seen with Smurf, and the glare that Molly was giving her CO, and the gentle grin on his face directed at her, set her alarm bells ringing. _There's something goin' on here_, she thought.

He turned to her and said, "I'd probably better make tracks if I'm to get back to the Barracks at a reasonable hour." He smiled at her, "She's only been awake for a few minutes and she managed over 15 minutes last night so it looks like you're in for a treat Mrs Dawes! There are some cards and letters from her friends which I've left on the bedside table, which maybe you'd read to her if she'd like. Otherwise, I'll see you later. Have you got my mobile number?"

She replied in the affirmative. They had shared contact details last night. She gave him a hug and thanked him for coming.

"Boss?" The uncertainty in her daughter's voice pulled at her heartstrings, and they both swung around towards her, "You are coming back aren'tcha?" he smiled at her sadly, obviously just as upset as Belinda to hear the lack of confidence and the desperate need in Molly's reedy voice, dropped his rucksack on the ground, and then walked round the bed 'til he was by her side. "Of course I am Dawesy," he told her, crouching down so he was on the same level as her and grasping her hand gently, "you're not getting rid of me that easily! I have to go back to the Barracks in the mornings to make sure everything's alright with the cockwombles but I'll be back this afternoon. I'm going to be with you all the way. I'm one hundred per cent by your side."

_That was so sweet_ she thought, _but why is Molly in tears? Does that phrase have some special meaning to them?_ _What's going on here?_ Molly sniffled and told him, "Thank you, Boss." Belinda watched as he took a paper tissue from the bedside table and gently dried her daughter's eyes and her nose as she smiled up at him wetly. _There's definitely something going on here._ He stood, smiled down at Molly, squeezed her hand, laid it gently on the bed and went to pick up his rucksack, pausing to smile at her. Their eyes met and she said quietly, laying a hand on his arm, "Thank you Captain James." He responded, "My pleasure, Mrs Dawes." And then he left.

She was dying to ask Molly what was going on with Captain James but she reckoned the poor girl had enough on her plate just now, but she resolved to discuss the situation with her Mum and see if she'd noticed anything. She went over to sit by Molly's bed and reached out to take her hand. "So little madam, how are you feeling today…?"

- OG - OG - OG - OG -

Molly woke late that evening. Things were much clearer now. She'd managed to talk with her mother for nearly 40 minutes after the Bossman left this morning and then, with the pain coming back again, they'd topped up her pain medication and she'd drifted off. But she'd woken again just after lunch and she and her mother had had a proper chat, with her Mum filling her in on what the family was all doing. She had told Molly that she was heading home tonight after Captain James got here, but her Nan would be arriving the next morning to stay with her over the weekend so that she was never alone.

She'd been really emotional, thinking about her Mum and Nan commuting up and down to Birmingham to make sure she was never alone, and Captain James taking the nightshifts. Her Mum had called him Captain Gorgeous and she'd laughed out loud (despite the fact that it pulled at the stitches in her stomach and was bloody painful) and agreed that actually he was quite pleasing on the eye, and then she'd told her Mum that she should see him without his top on, cos that was even better. Her Mum had got a far-away look as if she was trying to picture it (which _was_ a bit disturbing) and then told her she was jealous. She had managed to stay awake for much of the afternoon, aided by a few power naps.

After one such nap she realised that Captain James had arrived. When she woke up she could hear he and her mother talking. They had had a bit of three way banter for a little while before the nurse came in with her afternoon pain meds. Before she connected the meds up her Mum had told her that by the time she woke up she would probably be on her way back to London. Captain James and the nurse had looked at each other and said that they would come back in 10 minutes.

What followed was a bit of a tear-fest but a conversation that Molly would treasure for the rest of her life. Molly had thanked her Mum for being by her bedside and apologised for worrying her. Belinda had shooed her apologies away and had then sat holding her hand for a few seconds, obviously trying to compose herself. Then she had said, "I don't think I've ever told you Molly how proud I am of you. Not just what you've done in the Army, although I'm so proud of all of that, but all the way through your life. You've never given up, you always try and you're always there to support everyone, friends and family, and I am so proud of the woman you've become." As she'd gone to speak, her Mum had held her hand up to signal that she wasn't finished, "When it looked like you were going to die I realised that I'd never told you that and I'm so pleased I got a chance to. I love you Molly. I love you so much and I realised I didn't say that as often as I should have either. I can't stop you going back to the Army, and I wouldn't want to, but please know that you've made me the proudest mother in the world, Molly Dawes." Molly had been speechless, but had squeezed her mother's hand. Finally she had told her, "I love you too, Mum. I know it wasn't the easiest childhood, but I wouldn't exchange you and them other little blighters for nothing. You always tried to do your best for us, even standing up to Dad. You're the best Mum ever." They had sat holding each other's hands for a few minutes with Molly wishing she could hug her mother, and then Belinda had pulled a tissue out of her bag and cleaned up her own face and then Molly's. Both women had smiled at each other and gone back to their hand holding and a few minutes later Bossman and the nurse had returned. Her Mum had stayed until she had fallen asleep and then, apparently, left.

She enjoyed a bit of banter with the Bossman, and a drink (he helped her have a sip and gently cleaned her up), and they were just making a start on the cards and letters from the Platoon when a rather distinguished looking man in a white coat over a dark suit, who she remembered from the previous day, walked in. He turned to look at her. "Good evening, Private Dawes. I'm Dr Matthews, if you didn't remember from yesterday. I must say I'm very glad to see you awake again. How long has she been awake Captain?"

He replied, "It's been nearly 10 minutes sir."

He started, "Well that is very positive Private. I'm hoping you've turned the corner. I must say, my wife will be very pleased. She's been asking about you every day."

"Your wife, sir?" she asked, wondering if she'd missed something.

Captain James smiled and helped her out, "Dr Matthews' wife is Major Watts. She commanded the MERT that came to pick you up, and saved your life. Also she looked after you at Bastion, and she kept me informed of your condition once you got back here, so I didn't go mad."

Molly looked pensive, "She was called Nicky?" she questioned, and both men nodded. "She was there at the beginning, and the end of my tour." Captain James looked questioning, but Dr Matthews seemed to understand.

"Yes," replied Dr Matthews, "she told me. She remembers you freezing on your first night, but I wouldn't worry about that Private, lots of people freeze at their first sight of a catastrophic injury. It's how they go on from there that matters, and you certainly passed that test."

"Well, at least one person had faith in me," she observed, looking at Captain James. It wasn't quite a glare but there was a certain amount of exasperation in there.

He had the decency to look embarrassed. At the questioning look from the consultant, he told him, "Let's just say that Private Dawes and I didn't get off to the best of starts!"

"Not the best of starts?" she complained disbelievingly, "You threatened to lob me out o' the plane! Then you told me I was a Doris, made fun o' me and told me medical checks was like speed datin'. Basically you were a complete git!"

"Yes, well," he looked down, "It's fair to say I didn't cover myself in glory, but look at it from my point of view. I've got a perfectly organised platoon that I'm taking into a war zone and then my medic, who I've been training with for six months, gets drafted and I get this newbie with no experience. She turns up and she looks like someone's kid sister and she reckons she's the class joker," Molly winced, remembering Corporal Geddings' comments from her basic training, "I needed to focus you up quick. We were going into a war zone and the lives of my men depended on you doing a good job. Everything I saw of you at the beginning suggested you didn't take it seriously and I needed you to take it seriously. So I was really hard on you. I worried that you were a loose cannon and that you would disobey orders. And at the end of the day, you did disobey orders, didn't you?"

"Eh?"

"You didn't hear me tell you not to go up on that winch? Bollocks. Besides, you can't lie for shit Dawesy!" he grinned at her.

"People in glass houses, Boss!" she replied.

It was his turn to say "Eh?"

She smiled at him sadly, ""Just a scratch Dawesy" – that's what you said, ain't it Boss? You need to work on your poker face."

The blood drained from his face and he rapidly sat down in the chair, as if all the energy had left him, "You remember?"

She smiled at him and gestured with her left hand for him to hold it. Hesitantly he reached out for it and she replied, "Yes I do Boss. I remember you saving my life. I remember you not giving up on me. And I remember what you said," and here she stared hard at him, "And my answer's still ditto!"

He looked at her, anguished. "But then you must remember what happened, and why we were there. You know that I cocked up. It's my fault you were injured."

This time she did glare at him, "Boss, you need to listen to what I'm gonna say or, as Fingers would say, you and me, we're gonna fall out. Nothin' was your fault. You didn't shoot me, Badrai did. You didn't melt down, Smurf did. You didn't make the decision not to move, I did-"

"Yes, because I left you unsupported!" he interrupted loudly, staring into her eyes. She could see the tears in his eyes and his mouth working with emotion.

She smiled at him and squeezed his hand, "That's by the by, Boss. I don't blame you for it, and you more than made up for it when you stopped me bleeding out."

He stared at her longingly, then told her quietly, "That's very good of you Dawesy, but I blame myself enough for both of us anyway."

Just as she went to speak Dr Matthews, who had been standing back out of both of their eye lines, interrupted gently. "I think you should table this discussion for now." He told them, catching Captain James' eye and cutting his eyes towards the life support machine which showed that Molly's heart rate was elevated, suggesting some distress on her behalf. "While I don't know the ins and outs of the situation, I think Private Dawes is right Captain. What's done is done. You must focus on the present and the future now, and stop dwelling on the past. Having said that, my door is always open if you need to talk."

Captain James subsided, still distraught, while Private Dawes gazed at him lovingly, unnoticed by him. Dr Matthews gave a small, private smile, _I must tell Nicky about this; she told me that he was head over heels for her, but she clearly loves him just as much_, before bringing the conversation back to the present.

He cleared his throat, bringing both of their attention back to him, "So Private Dawes, you seem much better and your blood pressure is back to normal, as is your temperature. I would say that things are coming along well. Now, I think we can free up some of the restrictions on your movement. You can have your left arm back, and your upper body, but we still need to keep your lower abdomen stable for a few more days to give it time to knit. Your right shoulder is coming along but we do need to be a little careful there, and your thigh is only a flesh wound so we'll have a physio start working with you over the next few days to help you keep as much muscle mass as possible and also to minimise the risk of further infection and-or blood clots.

"In terms of the outlook, we'll keep you in the ICU for a little while longer, but after that we'll transfer you to a ward and you can have more visitors. I would expect you to be in hospital for another 4-6 weeks and then, if all continues to go according to plan, we can see about getting you discharged and sent home for a little while. After that you'll be at Headley Court for rehab for several months on and off."

He tailed off, waiting for the question that all of them asked, and he wasn't disappointed. While he had been speaking Captain James had reached out and grasped her hand in support. Her voice wavered, but strengthened as he squeezed her hand, "And then sir? Will I be able to go back to active service?"

He smiled at both of them, before fixing his eyes on hers, "It's early days, Private Dawes, but barring any additional complications, and as long as you keep up with your physio and rehab exercises, then yes, I believe you should be able to. But it will be a long process Private, and you'll need to stick at it."

The relief in both their eyes was a joy to behold. If anything, the Captain looked more relieved than her. _Probably reasonable if he blames himself for her injuries_, he thought.

"Thank you sir," they both told him, and then looked at each other, grinning.

"Now Private, I think we'll give you a quick once over and then I'll ask one of the nurses to give you a quick bed bath. After that you'll feel a lot more human!"

The Captain blanched, "I'll leave you to it Dawesy. I'll just go and call your Grandmother and your Mother to pass on the good news and then I'll wait outside until you're finished."

Dawes grinned at him cheekily, "What's the matter Bossman? Aintcha ever seen a naked woman before?!" He glared at her, but then grinned and left with his tail firmly between his legs.

- OG - OG - OG - OG -

"So tell me Mols," her Nan's voice was playful but with an element of seriousness to it, "When was you goin' to formally introduce us to your new boyfriend then?"

Molly accidentally dropped Mansfield's letter on her chest in surprise, but decided to try and bluff it out. "What new boyfriend, Nan?"

The older woman looked at her scornfully, "Pull the other one Mols – it's got bells on! You might be able to get away with hiding it around a group of clueless male soldiers but your Mum and me are a different story. We've got eyes and we've got brains and we can use them both! The poor man's obviously totally besotted with you. 'E's bin 'ere every day since he got back ter the country. 'E 'asn't even taken the time to go and see 'is own family. I just wondered whether you felt that way about 'im or whether 'e was another Smurfie? Then I saw 'ow you look at 'im. You didn't look at Artan like that and you still let 'im brand you! So it's obvious. When are you goin' to tell your Mum and Dad? Not that your Mum probably needs tellin' but I'm sure she'd appreciate it."

It was the following morning and Captain James had left for the Barracks early again. He had also told her that he might be a bit later arriving tonight since he had to see a man about a flat. She didn't know what that was all about but she expected he'd tell her when he was ready.

She had felt so much better last night after the bed bath. It had been a bit painful as they had moved her around, and very embarrassing (both because of where they had cleaned her and also because there had had to be a male nurse there to help move her), but she felt much more human after it. Unfortunately they hadn't been able to do anything about her hair which felt uber manky but the nurse, Rachel, had promised that she'd see if they could do anything over the next few days. Bossman had come in after they'd all left and after giving her a fulminating look which promised retribution if she mentioned anything about bed baths, he had taken his seat at her side and re-taken her hand.

A nurse had come in almost immediately afterwards with her pain meds and she'd drifted off to sleep savouring the feel of his good night kiss on her lips. She'd woken late this morning just as her Nan arrived to relieve the Bossman. He'd looked tired, as though he hadn't slept well; she hoped he was OK. She'd endured the poking and prodding of morning rounds and was just making a start on reading what Captain James described as her "fan mail", the pile of which was now growing to pretty epic proportions, when Nan had dropped her bombshell.

She supposed it was only a matter of time and Nan was right, trying to hide a relationship from women was much more difficult than from men, particularly her section, who were totally clueless. They even thought she had the hots for Smurf, for God's sake! She sighed, "When did you guess?"

Her Nan smiled at her in much the same way as she imagined a lion would look eyeing up its prey, "It was on the first night he was 'ere. You was still unconscious. 'E came in 'ere and he was nice to me and all, but 'e only 'ad eyes for one person. Then there was the 'ints Dr Matthews dropped about 'ow he'd been back at Bastion, and the whole way 'e was with you. I knew that 'e 'ad a thing for you, but I didn't know 'is feelings was returned until you went all doe eyed when 'is name was mentioned. Your Mum asked me about you two last night as well. She noticed 'ow gentle 'e was with you, and the look you gave 'im. Asked if I'd seen anythin'? I said I wasn't sure, but you've just told me, 'aven't you Mols?!"

She smiled at her Nan, knowing the old woman had trapped her, and decided to come clean. "We was fallin' for each other and we knew it, but he told me he needed to wait until we got back because of his bloody duty of care. Then when we was on that bridge he told me he loved me and since I've been here he didn't seem like he wanted to wait any more. And I don't wanna wait either."

She looked up and her Nan had a smile wider than any she'd ever seen. "You remember when I told you that you only get one good 'un in a lifetime Mols? It looks like I was wrong. He's the best 'un I've ever seen."

She was surprised, "So you approve? I thought he would be too posh for you?" Her Nan smiled at her, "There's no denyin' he's well posh Mols, but he really loves you and he's got a great 'eart on 'im (and 'is bum's not too shabby either!). Damn right I approve and your Mum loves 'im too. In fact she'll be well jealous – I don't suppose you'd share 'im with us would you, Mols?"

She spluttered, trying not to laugh because it pulled on her stomach and was painful, "Don't you dare Nan. He's all mine!"

* * *

><p><strong>AN 1 Thanks again to Marc for his great advice on trauma injuries and treatment.**

**A/N 2 I have used the dates of the shooting from Captain's Log in this piece.**

**A/N 3 I read an article about a retired soldier who served as a casualty notification officer and it sounded like the worst job in the world. I wanted to include some of the job that they did in this fic. Captain Marsh is based on an actual officer of the same name mentioned in a Guardian article.**

**A/N 4 I'd like to thank the members of the Our Girl Anonymous Facebook group. Since joining you've really inspired me to get past my writer's block. You might recognise some of the situations in this chapter from some of our discussions – I've tried to answer some of the questions we've discussed in the group over the past few days.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I don't own Our Girl. Everything you recognise was created by Tony Grounds and is owned by the BBC.**

**Direct quotes from the BBC series are in Bold. These are copyright BBC & Tony Grounds.**

**This is quite a fluffy chapter – you have been warned!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 5<strong>

Charles James reflected that he had seen way too much of the M40 in the past few days. It was getting so he could probably drive the route from Bicester to Birmingham in his sleep! At the moment he was living this strange half-life where he was a soldier and platoon commander in the morning, and a concerned boyfriend in the afternoon, evening and at night. Luckily it was Friday afternoon now and he was staying in Birmingham for the weekend so he could take a break from the M40 for a couple of days – yay!

Thankfully things were starting to come together a bit more at last. He had spoken to the military liaison team when he was at the hospital yesterday and they had given him names of some landlords specialising in short-term lets in the area and he had some visits scheduled for this afternoon. He had been surprised; he actually hadn't been able to find a two bedroom flat. All the properties he was looking at were 3-4 bedroom houses, so if the Dawes family did want to come up _en masse_ there should be no problem accommodating them. The prices were actually cheaper than he had expected so there was no issue there. Maybe Sam could even stay there with him if he was able to prise him away from Rebecca for a weekend. He was sure that Sam would like Molly but he wasn't sure that he should introduce them just yet. Rebecca would certainly NOT like it, but that was a bridge he was likely to have to cross at some point because he was absolutely dead serious about Molly Dawes. Maybe he would leave it for a little while before he fought that battle though.

He had been assured by the agent that if he did find something he liked today, then he could move in by Tuesday next week, which was ideal because that was the day of the medal parade and the last day that he'd be needed at Barracks. He was still wondering how he was going to broach the subject of staying at his flat with either of the elder Dawes women, but he would just have to cross that bridge when he came to it.

He had rented an apartment over the weekend so he at least had somewhere to put his stuff. He figured that he would stay with Molly overnight and her grandmother could stay with her during the days. The apartment had two bedrooms, just in case, and he was going to try and force Marge to stay over. It wasn't costing him too much, just £60 a night, and Molly was worth it. He reckoned he would spend £60 a night just to have a shower anyway. It was so great to be able to lounge in the hot water after the rationed water in the FOB and at Bastion. Now he thought about it he was really looking forward to wearing his civvy clothes as well. In fact he was thinking he would change before he went to the hospital this afternoon.

- OG - OG - OG - OG -

When he strolled towards Molly's room later that afternoon with his rucksack on his shoulder, containing his laptop and all his paperwork as well as Molly's latest batch of fan mail, he felt altogether more human. He had found a really nice little house to rent just round the corner from the hospital which was within 2 minutes' walk (maybe 5 minutes for Marge) and he had signed the papers to rent it for five weeks there and then. It had four bedrooms and two bathrooms, and a pretty little patio garden, in which he could sit outside if he needed some space, and also a driveway so that if he had a car he had somewhere to park it. Best of all it was all costing only about £300 per week. He reckoned it made sense to rent a place, since when Molly was kicked out of ICU they would be back to normal visiting hours and he would need to have somewhere to stay from 20.00 to 08.00. He expected to stay with her for a lot of the time but he was really looking forward to going back to Bath for a few days to see his family. Sam's birthday was coming up and he hoped Molly was out of ICU by then; she should be, barring any unforeseen issues. He was really looking forward to seeing his son, but for the time being Molly's needs had to be prioritised.

After signing the papers he had headed round to the apartment he was staying in over the weekend, dropped off some stuff, had a shower and put on his civvies. Now he was dressed in jeans, a black T-shirt and a plain blue shirt and had his maroon sweatshirt tied around his waist, just in case he got cold overnight. It felt so nice not to be dressed in green!

He had stopped by Smurf's room on his way up. Smurf was asleep (apparently he spent quite a lot of time under sedation) but Candy was there and very happy to see him. She had remarked how much younger he looked out of uniform. Apparently they had now eliminated neurological causes for Smurf's lesion and were planning an operation to take a biopsy to make sure it wasn't cancerous. Once they had eliminated that as a possibility they would be able to decide what to do and how to treat it going forward.

He had asked whether Smurf was any better when he was awake but Candy told him that he was still confused on and off, and sometimes angry. He asked whether she had told him that Molly was better and she replied that she hadn't mentioned it. Thinking that Smurf might still think that Molly was dead or dying, he had suggested that telling him that Molly was awake and asking after him might help. He didn't know whether Molly _was_ asking after him, but he was sure she would be once she realised he was here. He had suggested that if Smurf wasn't awake then Candy should join them in Molly's room for dinner and she had looked thankful for this. He was sure she was lonely and resolved to spend a bit more time checking up on her and Smurf.

He found that his anger towards Smurf had dissipated over the past few days. Certainly Molly being better was the major reason, but also finding out that Smurf had genuine issues that might explain his strange behaviour was part of it as well. And he couldn't forget the fact that before all of this had happened he had been fond of Smurf. He had grown less so over the course of the deployment because, even though he had been a good soldier in training, it had transpired that he was unpredicable on operations, but he felt he owed it to Geraint's memory to get Smurf out alive and then he could decide for himself what he wanted to do with his life. Hopefully everything would go well and Smurf would still be able to make a decision for himself.

Finally he took his leave and headed towards Molly's room. When he got there he could hear that she and her Grandmother were talking, which he took to be a good sign. Knocking on the open door and entering he greeted them with "Good afternoon ladies." Both looked up, and seemed surprised to see him out of uniform. Marge commented, "Someone looks chipper, don't they!" before standing and giving him a hug. Accustomed to the Dawes' hugs now, he didn't tense at all, just returned it, and looked to Molly on the bed. She looked much better and was grinning at him, "Do I get one of them hugs Boss?" she asked. He replied, moving around the bed towards her, "I don't know Dawesy. Generally I don't hug people who throw up in the doorways of Army recruitment centres, but I suppose I might make an exception in your case!"

Marge guffawed and Molly looked gutted and glared at her grandmother, "Someone's been tellin' tales out of school, ain't they _Nan_?" He wasn't ready to let her off yet though – after all she deserved some payback for teasing him about the bed bath last night, so he continued, "But don't worry Dawesy, I've tracked down Sergeant Peters and I'll be speaking to him on Monday." Now she looked scared, "Boss?" He couldn't hold it in any longer and grinned at her, "Proper rinsed Dawesy, proper rinsed!"

Now she glared at _him_, "Boss…" but then something occurred to her, "but how did you know the guy from the recruiting office was called Sergeant Peters?" He tapped his nose, "Ah well, that's for me to know and you…not to!" he gave her a shit eating grin. Actually he had looked it up in her record after Marge had told him the other day, but she didn't need to know that. She glared at him again, "I'm not so sure I want that hug now…"

Her grandmother looked at her, "Are you sure Mols? Your loss is my gain! Maybe I could get another one then!"

Molly looked scandalised, "Nan!"

He looked up to see Marge grinning at him and looked across to see Molly glaring at both of them. This was fun! He grinned back at Marge, "Well I suppose if she doesn't want one of my patented hugs then why not?" As he moved back towards Marge, Molly pulled out the heavy guns, giving him the doe eyes. Whereas he had managed to withstand the doe eyes at the beginning of the deployment, there was no way he could withstand them now, but he was saved from having to capitulate when she asked pleadingly, "Boss?" and held out her arm. He grinned again at Marge and turned back to Molly, "Well, since you put it that way Dawesy…" and he went round the bed, leant down and gently hugged her around her left shoulder, being very careful not to jostle her right side. Molly made a small sound of satisfaction and Marge harrumphed before sitting in her chair. "It's good to see you looking better," he told her quietly before pulling away.

"Oi, you don't need to whisper sweet nothin's to 'er Charlie," said Marge, "I know all about what you've been up to with my granddaughter!"

To say he was flabbergasted would be a prize understatement. He swung round to see Marge grinning at him. "Wha…?" he stuttered.

"Don't worry Charlie, I guessed," she told him, "And our Mols confirmed it. But she says you've been a right gentleman about it, and I can see you're devoted to 'er, so I'll let ya off." He swung round to look at Molly, who was grinning up at him, "Sorry Boss, I didn't get a chance to tell you. She knows, and what she knows, Mum'll know soon too. Now we just have to tell the Army…"

He gave her a small smile, "Actually, the Army knows too. Sorry, I didn't get a chance to tell _you_. I had to tell Major Beck in my after-action debriefing since it was germane to the situation with Smurf. The section don't know yet though…"

She looked at him worriedly, "Was it alright? Are there going to be any problems?"

He gave her a lopsided smile, "I don't know Molly. Major Beck said that he didn't _think_ it would be a problem, but would have to see when his report went upstairs. I told him that we had feelings for one another but that we'd agreed to wait out until we got back to the UK. I said that Smurf must have overheard us talking." He hoped that she'd pick up on what he'd left unsaid, that he hadn't told Major Beck that they had kissed in the compound. "I offered to resign my commission if need be."

Molly looked wretched and shook her head, "Boss, you can't do that." He grasped her hand, then smiled at her and told her, "I will if I have to Mols. End of. What happened, happened on my watch. It was my mistakes that caused it. If higher decides that someone has to take the fall then it's me. I'm the officer; it's my responsibility." He tried to smile at her again, probably only managing half a smile, and tried to change the subject, "Anyway, that's not a subject we want to be talking about, is it? So what did you ladies get up to this afternoon?"

- OG - OG - OG - OG -

It had been a good day, Charles thought. They had talked for an hour before one of Molly's power naps and, while she had been napping he had sent Marge out for a fag. He had thought about mentioning the overnight accommodation to her while Molly was sleeping but decided that Molly might make a good ally in the fight that was sure to follow, so he had decided to hold off until she woke up. He had spent the time on his own trying to finish off his last few personnel reports; he wanted to get everything submitted by Monday.

He was surprised when Molly woke after only 20 minutes. Marge wasn't even back yet – he had told her to go and get a coffee in the canteen and grab some fresh air. He had been writing notes in Molly's personnel jacket when a voice came from the bed, "What are you doing Boss?" He jerked up, surprised.

"Jesus Dawesy, give a guy some warning!" then, worried that she might be in pain he looked up, "Are you OK? Are you in pain?"

She replied, "No I'm OK Boss. Just saw you there and you seemed to be concentratin' very hard so I wondered what you was up to?"

He decided to have a bit of fun, "Well I'm just working on your fitness report actually Dawesy. Trying to decide whether to include Sergeant Peters' comments or not. He remembers you, you know?"

She stared at him, trying to work out whether he was telling the truth or not, until he grinned, "Don't worry Dawesy, just kidding, but I _am_ working on your report. Yours, Dangles' and Mansfield's are my last three. I'm going to have to hand yours over to Major Beck to complete because I've declared an interest so I just wanted to make sure that everything is shipshape."

"Is it OK boss?"

"I'm not telling you what I'm saying about you, if that's what you're after Dawesy! Not even if you try and bribe me…" he finished, grinning at her lasciviously. She giggled, "Well it's not worth tryin' then is it Boss?"

Just then Marge walked in. "Bloody 'ell, you're still working on those reports Charlie? How many 'ave you got to do?"

He smiled at her and took the finished reports off her chair where he had been piling them, so she could sit down, "There's one for every member of my Platoon Marge, that's 25 since we're a bit understrength."

"I didn't realise it was so many Charlie, I thought there was only eight?"

Molly answered for him, "No Nan, that's just my section. There's three sections in a platoon and he commands all of that. Actually he's senior enough to command a whole company which would be four platoons or 100 men."

Marge looked interested, "So why ain't you got a company Charlie?"

He replied, "I'm not quite senior enough to command a rifle company Marge, although I could command a non-frontline unit. It's more normal to have a Major commanding." He looked at Molly, "So for this deployment I had Major Beck, who Molly's met, as my CO."

Since there were no more questions about the army, he thought that this was as good a time as any to start the accommodation "discussion", and he had broached the subject of her staying in his rented flat over the weekend. An hour later he had emerged victorious. Not unscathed, but victorious, but probably only because Molly had come in on his side. Molly had dropped off to sleep after Marge had been persuaded, and they talked about nothing in particular while she was asleep, discussing current affairs and talking a bit about their families.

Molly woke just after 18.00, just in time for evening rounds and her bed bath. Nurse Rachel was as good as her word and had brought in a basin so Molly's hair could be washed and she was really excited about that. Charles and Marge had given her privacy for 20 minutes and Charles had mentioned to Marge that he had invited Candy to join them for dinner if Smurf was asleep. Marge had no problem with that, remembering how supportive Candy had been during Molly's tough times.

Dinner had been fun, their first dinner all together in Molly's room and with Molly taking part. She looked much better with her lovely hair clean and shiny (although it was tied over her left shoulder to keep away from the injury on her right). He was really looking forward to caressing it though, maybe when she got her goodnight kiss. He had managed to fill Molly in a bit about Smurf's problems before Candy arrived and she had been happy to know that there was a reason behind his somewhat strange behaviour recently, although upset at what the reason was. When Candy had arrived, Molly had bombarded her with questions about Smurf's condition and he could see that Candy was really touched that she was so concerned.

- OG - OG - OG - OG -

Dinner had been pretty disgusting but Molly had done the best out of all of them. She was still on liquids and only had a bit of soup but the rest of them had done their best with their extremely soggy fish and chips and liquid peas. They had all agreed that once again pudding (jam roly poly) was the best part of the meal. Molly had dozed off just before 20.00 and Candy had taken her leave; apparently she was staying with friends while Smurf was here. He and Marge had talked a little more until Molly woke up at about 21.30. They had talked together until Marge yawned for the third time and then he had packed her off to the flat, giving her a key and ordering her to take a taxi, to which she responded, "I ain't one of your soldiers Charlie, so keep your orders to yerself!"

They had wished Marge a good night and she had left, closing the door behind her. He looked down at Molly, who was grinning up at him. _Is now the right time?_ He wondered. _Well, now is as good a time as any_, he thought. He moved the chair over so that he could hold her hand and be closer to her face at the same time.

"Molly, now that everybody's gone, I wondered if we could have a little chat?" It sounded trite, but he was so focused on the important things he wanted to say that he hadn't really spent any time in thinking about how he was going to start the conversation.

She looked a bit concerned as she asked, "Boss?"

He tried to reassure her, angry with himself for worrying her, "Oh it's nothing bad, don't worry. Well at least I hope you won't think it's bad…" he tailed off, mentally banging himself on the head for making such a balls up of it.

She still looked worried and he reached out for her hand to comfort her. He wrapped both his hands around it and started massaging the back of her hand with his thumbs. Interestingly, holding her hand comforted him as well and he couldn't help but think about how that had been the case at Bastion too. He took a deep breath and jumped in, "It's just that when you were lying in that bed at Bastion I had a little chat with you. Actually it was pretty one sided…" he tried to inject some levity, "You were a pretty tough audience," she smiled, "but I pushed on and said what I needed to say, but I promised myself that when you woke up I would say it again." He was finding it harder than he thought, and the memory of her lying in the bed at Bastion looking so damaged brought tears to his eyes. He tried to soldier on but in the end he had to let go of her hand to scrub his eyes.

"Boss?" she asked worriedly, and handed him the box of tissues from the bed, "Are you OK?"

He gave her a watery smile and cleaned up his eyes and nose before throwing the tissue in the bin. He took her hand again, "Sorry, Mols, it's just thinking about you lying there all battered and broken and I was totally helpless to do anything. And it was my fault you were there."

She frowned at him, "Boss, we already had that chat about how we were gonna fall out if you didn't stop blaming yourself…"

"I know Molly, and I thank you for saying it, but at the end of the day, it _was_ my fault. If I had told you about Rebecca and Sam then you wouldn't have found out the way you did, which was never the way I wanted you to find out and I understand it hurt you deeply and I would never have wished that for you…" realising he was gabbling he tried to bring himself under control, squeezing her hand and looking into her eyes. Her beautiful green eyes stared back at him empathically and she smiled sadly and went to interrupt but he held his hand up, needing to get this out, "Anyway, then we wouldn't have needed to make up in that compound and Smurf wouldn't have seen us, then he wouldn't have flipped and then I would have been in a position to support you."

"But Boss," she told him quietly and patiently, "How do you know that somethin' else might not have happened to set Smurf off? It wasn't your fault that he flipped, that's all his own problem. I told him so many times that I weren't interested in him like that. How could he not have got it?"

"Well, it might not have been all his fault, as you found out today. Apparently brain lesions can impact people's behaviour. But even if Smurf may still have flipped I still made my second howler and didn't call for support for you _when_ he flipped. If I had, then you wouldn't have been shot. Face it Molly, as your officer and as someone who cares for you very much, I'm an epic fail." He looked up into Molly's brilliant green eyes willing her to understand the truth that he had screwed up and be angry with him, but all he saw there was acceptance and understanding. He looked down, unable to meet her eyes.

She reached out with her left hand and gently raised his head, "Boss, will you please look at me?" The effort of reaching out was obviously great, causing her arm to shake, and it fell away. He caught it and placed it back on the bed and looked into her eyes. Her green eyes were huge and staring at him, wet with tears.

She said, ever so gently, "Boss, it hurts me that you keep blaming yourself for this. You did your best in the situation you found yourself in. And as I said before, _you_ didn't flip, Smurf did; _you_ didn't shoot me, Badrai did; and _you_ didn't make the choice not to take cover, I did. But one thing _you_ did do Boss, was that _you_ saved my life on that bridge. I'm a medic, I know about these things. If you hadn't taken care of me I would have bled out before the MERT got there." She held up her hand as he went to interrupt to tell her that that didn't count since she had just told him what to do, "No, it's my turn now…

"When Smurf got back after he was injured you told him that everybody makes mistakes, Boss. You told him that it's what we do to rectify them that separates the shit from the clay. Well from where I'm sittin' you must be pretty high quality clay Boss, because not only did you save my life, but you've been there for me and, more importantly, my family, when we all needed you. No-one I've ever been with would've done that for us, for me. So I think you need to lay this to rest Boss. I don't see that you made mistakes, but if you insist you did then I think you've done more than enough to rectify them."

She was crying and he was crying when she finished. He was immensely touched. How could this brilliant, loving, beautiful, feisty, emotionally complex young woman possibly see anything in him? He couldn't speak, all he could do was stare into her beautiful light green eyes, and he simply lifted her hand up to his face. He laid it on his cheek and she cupped his cheek. Then she tried to pull it towards her and he realised she wanted him to hug her.

He leant in as best he could without jostling her and wrapped his right arm behind her, cupping the back of her head in his hand, stroking it through her hair, and laid his left cheek against her right one. She wrapped her left arm around his neck and pulled him into her. From where he was he could see one beautiful green eye staring into his. He didn't know how long they stayed like that but he had been conscious for some time that his back was hurting but he didn't want to end the moment. His tears were starting to come under control and he pulled back, kissing her on the cheek and choking out, "I'm a very lucky man to have you in my life Molly Dawes, and I won't ever forget that. Thank you." He reached for the tissues, which had fallen on the floor, and cleaned his eyes and nose. Her left hand was searching for the box and he took a tissue and helped dab her eyes as well, finally giving her a clean one so she could blow her nose. They smiled at each other wetly and he sat down again and clasped her hand.

He didn't know if he should go on. Their conversation had already been highly emotional, but he had important things to say and he wanted her to hear them. He resolved to continue.

He took another deep breath, "OK, well now we've got that behind us, maybe we could have the other part of that conversation?" He wondered if he'd be able to have this conversation without crying again. He didn't know when the last time he'd cried so much was – maybe when his dog Robby had died when he was seven. It was just after he came back from his first half term at boarding school and his mother told him that Robby had wandered next door and drowned in the swimming pool. It had actually happened a month earlier but she hadn't wanted to tell him for fear of upsetting him at school. He had cried for what felt like hours then. Not just for Robby, but for the times spent together with his parents that he represented. He had found it so hard at boarding school to start off with but it was necessary because his Dad's job in the Diplomatic Service kept him moving around the world and his parents had decided that at that age he needed stability.

He looked at Molly and she nodded jerkily and he continued. "Well it's like this Molly. You were lying in the bed at Bastion and frankly you looked shit, and it was really touch and go, and I realised then how much I missed you and how important to me you'd become." Molly had grinned when he told her she looked shit, and she went to interrupt, but then her head jerked upwards with his last statement, "Boss?" she asked.

"What I'm trying to say Molly is that I had and I have come to rely on you. All those weeks at the FOB, and I know it was difficult at the beginning and I'm sorry that I made it harder for you to fit in, but you knuckled under and got on with it and once you relaxed a bit everyone could see the real you. And as I got to know you, I realised that the real you is very special. You're beautiful and you're spunky and you're disobedient and you always reckon you're right and you're bright and you're interesting and you're empathic, and you're just so unique. Waiting out on our relationship was the hardest thing I've ever done, but now we're back I wondered if you'd be my girlfriend?" he finished in a rush.

She exclaimed, "Boss? Are you sure? I mean you hardly even know me. **You only know the "me" on tour.**"

He looked at her, trying to find a way to explain to her, "I know enough Molly, I've seen enough. It's like when **you see an iceberg, you only see the tip of it, but you still know it's an iceberg**."

She exhaled, and mock-glared at him, "**Are you calling me an iceberg**? I didn't think I was that fat!"

He smiled at her exasperatedly, "No, that's not what I meant Molly – it's a metaphor. I guess you didn't do those at school since you didn't go!" they both grinned at each other, "What I mean is that I've only seen the little bit of you that I see on tour but I've already seen enough to know that the little bit of you that you've shared with us is so exciting and wonderful that it makes me want to explore the rest of the iceberg."

She blushed with embarrassment but tried to hide it with sarcasm, "Aww, Boss. That's so sweet."

He thought _I guess there's no time like the present_, so he told her, "Charles."

She looked at him as if he was nuts, "Eh?"

He replied, "If you're going to be my girlfriend, don't you think you should call me by my name? I mean you're not going to **call me Bossman for the rest of our lives** are you?"

She smiled coyly, "**Bit previous there, weren't you**?"

He told her, "**Well…it's chemistry**…" to which she replied, , "**I failed that**." So he told her, exasperatedly, "**Well, you know what I mean**."

She looked pensive, so he said, "I know I'm a lot older than you Mols, I mean I'm 27 and you're - what? 19-20?" she nodded, "but you're so different from anybody I've ever met. You're so bright and warm and I feel so alive when we're together. I've never had that feeling with anyone else. And you've got so much potential Molly, but you don't believe in yourself at all. I want to help you to see yourself like we see you – the boys and me, because you're brilliant, but you just don't understand that."

She looked at him for what felt like hours, as if trying to assess whether he was telling her the truth. She had tears in her eyes. No-one had ever said those sort of things to her before. Not any of her previous boyfriends; _certainly_ not Artan. Sure, she had had that conversation with her Mum the other day, but surely Mums always felt like that about their kids. And this was _the Boss_, well she guessed she'd have to call him Charles now. That would take some getting used to – what a terrible name! It made him sound like such a stiff. Why couldn't he be Robert or James or something accessible like that? She'd wondered why her Nan had been calling him Charlie - at least that sounded more friendly, more approachable. She'd have to see if she could get away with that over the next few months and years. Her thoughts ground to a halt as she realised she already had her answer; she was already imagining building a life with him. Nan was right – he obviously thought the world of her and she _knew_ she loved him, so it was a no-brainer, really.

She looked up at him and saw his beautiful light brown eyes fixed on hers. There was a hint of vulnerability in them and she realised it must have been difficult for him to put so much of himself on the line. He had never been that expressive on tour and she wondered what had changed. She realised she hadn't said anything for a while as she mulled over his words and saw that he was worried. She smiled up at him, "OK, _Charles_," she told him, "As if you didn't know already, but I'd love to be your girlfriend."

It had been an easy answer, but she knew she'd made the right choice when his face lit up like a thousand light bulbs. She thought back to his comment about age gaps, and a thought came to her, "So, when _is_ your birthday then Boss-sorry-Charles?" he grinned at her. "Sorry, that's gonna take some getting used to."

He smiled, "You don't have to call me Charles all the time. Besides," he observed cheekily, "it's a massive boost to my ego when you call me Boss out of work!" he grinned at her and she mock-glared back, "My birthday is coming up actually, the 10th of May."

She grinned up at him. "So what did you want for your birthday then, _Charles_?" He looked at her piercingly for a moment, trying to decide whether to make a joke or not. Then he replied, "The best birthday present I could think of for now would be to go for a walk in the country with my beautiful girlfriend."

"What? The country? Trees 'n shit? I'm not sure that's gonna work boss, **trees give me the willies**!"

He looked at her disparagingly, "Well I'm not sure why you joined the Army then Dawesy. It might have escaped your notice but we do quite a lot of our work in the countryside…"

She grinned, "Yeah, well I didn't really think that through!"

He was puzzled, "But you liked Afghanistan – you said it was "proper nice" if memory serves?" he grinned at her, enjoying teasing her. She glared at him, "Why is Britain so different?"

"I dunno Boss," this time it was his turn to mock-glare at her and she corrected herself quickly, "Sorry, Charles. It's just that I grew up in the city and I don't really know trees and countryside and that. It just feels a bit unnatural to me, like."

"Well, why don't I show you some of my idea of what makes great countryside when you're better and we'll see if I can change your mind?" he smiled at her and she smiled back, "I'd like that, _Charles_."

They both waited for the other to say something and when it became clear that neither had anything else to say they settled into a companionable silence. After a while he looked up at her asked, "Do you want to read more of your fan mail Dawesy?"

- OG - OG - OG - OG -

Molly woke up early the following morning. It was light, but not very light, outside and it looked like dawn had broken but the sun hadn't come up yet. She looked around and saw the Bossman, she supposed she should try to think of him as Charles, slumped in a chair. He didn't seem to have woken yet. His face looked more relaxed in sleep, which made him look younger, and she reflected that it went well with his recent behaviour. Was this more relaxed, more open Charles James the one that she could expect to see from now on?

It was fair to say that she had initially been attracted to his on duty Captain James persona but as she had got to know him better she supposed it _was_ the tantalising glimpses of "Charles James" that she had started to fall in love with. It was a good thing too, because once their relationship was official she wouldn't get to see too much of "Captain James" again, because they'd never serve with one another again. It was impossible for a couple to serve in the same chain of command, particularly when their ranks were so far apart.

She reflected on how lucky she was that he had returned her feelings. She'd started to fancy him quite early on in their tour, once he'd finally started to treat her like a human being, and she could see that he had started warming to her, but she just thought that he was so far out of her league she had never dreamed that anything would come of her feelings and she had resolved that they could have a good working relationship.

She had thought she'd totally blown it when he had reamed her out for chasing after Bashira through the village. In retrospect she could understand it was a pretty stupid thing to do, but at the time she hadn't really thought about it. She had been desolate when she thought he was so angry with her. He had shouted at her in the town but when they'd got back to the FOB he had called her into his tent/office and absolutely annihilated her, accusing her of betraying his trust and all sorts. It was all she could do not to burst into tears. Afterwards all the boys had tried to pick her up, and Kinders and Qaseem had both taken her aside to explain that the Captain was only concerned for her safety and that was why he was so angry, but she had worried that their easy relationship had been destroyed. The horrible feeling in the pit of her stomach hadn't been made any easier over the next few days when he'd clearly been avoiding her but she resolved to just get on with her job and be professional. Eventually he'd come to see her to have his blisters checked. Sitting on her medical table he'd told her that what he'd said to her was nothing personal but she had needed a good bollocking and that sometimes that was the best way to learn. The day after next Smurf had come back and thankfully it had returned to business as usual between them.

She had grown to like him more and more over time and there had been occasional signs that he liked her as well, but she had never dared to hope that he could possibly think _that way_ about her until that mind-blowing morning in the medical tent before she went on leave, when he had asked her to buy his Rosabaya. She still got goose bumps, even lying in a hospital bed, when she thought of him writing on her arm, and the way he had held and massaged her hands. The look of his beautiful brown eyes lit up by the sun was amazing and his "Come back to me" was one of the most beautiful things she'd ever heard. She could have killed Kinders when he'd disturbed them and it had been such a shock when loving Captain James had been replaced by all-business Captain James, and she'd felt horribly betrayed by the change.

Then, when she'd come back from leave everything had changed. He'd greeted her at the gates and she understood he couldn't say anything then. She thought, in retrospect, that they'd both been looking for signs from the other but both had failed to see what they'd hoped for. The boys had clearly thought that she'd gone off with Smurf and he'd been well jealous and then, when he heard she'd gone to Newport, he'd really gone off on one. She had been so upset and hurt by his lack of trust but resolved that she needed to get him alone. Unfortunately that was easier said than done but when she had seen him risking his life to check out the sheet across the road, even though he should have delegated it to one of his troops, she had decided that now was her time for two reasons. Firstly because it was likely her only opportunity to catch him on his own, and secondly because if he died in this situation without knowing how much she cared for him, and without her knowing if he genuinely cared for her, she'd never be able to forgive herself so she may as well be with him.

It had worked out for the best and, when they got to Bastion, they'd discussed their feelings with each other in his office, but he had been quite clear that they needed to wait. She had accepted that because he was all about his duty and in fact that was one of the things she loved about him.

But she had been livid with him at Bastion when she had discovered that he'd been holding out on her about his wife and son. Although she'd never thought of dumping him because of that, she was just so angry and hurt that he hadn't respected her enough to tell her about them. But now she thought about it she did understand his point of view that it was a difficult topic to bring up.

And then the final mission happened and they had had their first kiss and then she got shot. He had apologised to her in the compound for not telling her and she'd seen the vulnerability in his eyes then, and then when he told her he loved her when she lay dying on that bridge she'd seen the pain in them, but she was fading fast and the only thing she could find to say to tell him how she felt had been "ditto". And then waking up to find that he was here for her and her family was amazing. When Nan had said that he hadn't even been to see his own family, then she'd understood that her feelings were returned but she had never expected him to say it.

But then the conversation last night had come along and he had. The Captain James from before could and would never have said what he said last night, but it seemed that Charles James could, so she was pretty happy with Charles James. In fact, she couldn't be happier. It had obviously been a time for heart to hearts. She had had that conversation with her mother that she would treasure for the rest of her life and then Charles had trumped it. They still had some mountains to climb with their relationship but she did love him and it was obvious from his tenderness towards her and the way that he'd been with her Mum and her Nan that he loved her as well. Any of her other boyfriends would have run a mile rather than support her in this situation, but here was Charles supporting not only her but her totally mental family too. He said that she was different from anyone he'd ever been with before, but _he_ was also totally different from anyone _she'd_ ever been with before. But she loved this new reality. He honestly treated her like a princess and really she felt she could get used to that!

She focused on the here and now again to see that it was a lot lighter outside and that the sun was spilling in through the window. He was stirring, proving his point that he really did get up with the daylight. He woke very quickly, as most soldiers do, going from sleeping to alert in about a second. What was really nice was that his first waking thought seemed to be for her. His head turned to her life support machine and he seemed reassured by the steady rhythm on the screen (they had turned the sound down a few days ago) and then looked at her, smiling to see her eyes open.

He smiled at her, "You're a sight for sore eyes, Dawesy," he told her, "although it would be nicer if we were in the same bed, but hopefully soon…"

She grinned happily, "I'm up for that as well Boss." She smiled as he stood and stretched, his back cracking. He did some stretches like he used to do before he warmed up at the FOB, "Not going to give me a show are you Boss?" he raised his eyebrows at her, "Sorry, Charles"

He grinned at her, "Oh, you'd like that wouldn't you? Don't think I didn't see you checking me out Private Dawes. It gets so a guy can't even do his exercise without some randy medic checking him out!"

She smiled at him, "You loved it Boss. I could tell. Showing off with your weight lifting and with your singing. You loved the attention."

"You should watch yourself Private Dawes. Soldiers who tell the truth about, sorry tell lies about their COs tend to meet sticky ends!"

She snorted at the double entendre, whether intended or not, "Ooh, I hope so Boss".

He blushed bright red, clearly showing that it hadn't been intended, which made her even more amused. He glared at her, but then he softened and told her, "Well, I'm sure a brief show could be arranged, providing certain healing goals are reached…"

She looked at him quizzically, "Are you saying that if I get better then I can have a show?"

"Yes Dawesy, that's exactly what I'm saying. Do we have a deal?" he cocked an eyebrow at her.

"Well that's a no-brainer Boss – I'm in!" she told him, smiling.

He smiled at her then moved round the bed, "Deal then. Do you need any water? How's the pain, do I need to call a nurse?"

She smiled at him gratefully, "The pain's OK for now Boss, but some water would be nice."

He attended to her needs, gently brushing her hair away from her face, tilting her head up again and giving her a sip or two of water, then lowering her head and giving her a tissue so she could wipe her mouth with her left hand. Part of her was sorry that she could now wipe her own mouth; the way he had tenderly brushed the water away the other day had literally melted her, but another part was happy that she could take care of herself.

He offered to help her with her fan mail for which she was grateful. When she was wide awake she could read for a little while but her attention drifted quite quickly with all the painkillers she was still on. He happily read out the letters and cards from her colleagues and passed them over to her. The cards he propped up on her bedside table and the read letters he put in the drawer. As he opened the drawer he saw a small plastic box in there. "What's this?" he asked, picking it out. She had no idea and told him.

He opened it and pulled out her dog tags and a ring on a string. She realised it was Mrs Smurf's engagement ring. He looked at her seriously, "Molly, is there anything you want to tell me?"

He couldn't be jealous now, could he? He really was the most annoying man! She'd told him she loved him (well, technically she supposed she'd told him "Ditto") and she'd agreed to be his girlfriend. She decided to speak plainly, "Well, obviously it's Smurf's mum's ring and he gave it to me. Despite the fact that you had been a complete cockwomble I still didn't want to marry him and I told him so, but I agreed to keep it safe for him since he told me it _so_ didn't suit him." She tried to smile at him, and was pleased to see the left side of his mouth twitch up. She decided to give him both barrels, "So you can tell your jealousy to bugger off Captain James. I chose you. But if you're gonna keep getting all jealous like this we might gonna fall out again!"

He had the decency to look apologetic and, as he put the ring and the tags back in the box he told her, "Sorry, but when you've found someone really special of course you're going to be worried that others are going to covet her. But you're right," and here he looked straight into her eyes, "I owe it to you to trust you. I'm sorry, Molly."

Both of them smiled at the unintentional rhyme, and she told him, "You're forgiven _this time_, but I don't want to see any more of that, OK?" to which he replied, tongue-firmly-in-cheek, "Yes Ma'am" snapping her a mock-salute.

She growled, "Good, and don't you forget it, Charles James!"

He smiled at her lopsidedly, "On a totally different note, I think you should give this to your grandmother for safekeeping. Hospitals aren't the safest of places and it's practically a miracle it hasn't gone missing." He was right and she was grateful he cared enough to say it so she agreed.

She was really chuffed with the cards and letters from her section and the platoon as a whole and wanted to do something to thank them. She asked Charles what he recommended.

"Well, I suppose when your grandmother gets here I can go and find a card shop and buy you a "Thank You" card?" he suggested.

She was confused, "Yeah, but I can't write."

"Well I can write it for you and maybe you can just put an "x" at the bottom or something? You just dictate to me what to write and I can write for you." She thought his idea could work, but there was just one problem, "Do you know where there is a card shop?"

He smiled at her, "I'm sure I can find one Molly, don't you worry about that. Actually I think there's a newsagent just round the corner from the flat I'm staying in, so I can grab something this afternoon when your grandmother is with you. Then if we fill it in tonight or tomorrow I can take it with me when I go back to Bicester on Monday morning."

She agreed, but the mention of her grandmother brought up something else which she wanted to ask him about. She looked at him seriously, "Boss, how come you let my Nan call you Charlie? I wouldn't 've thought you would take that."

He looked sharply at her, then sat back in his chair clearly considering his answer. He smiled at her, slightly sadly, she thought, "Well, you're right. Normally I wouldn't, but at the time things were slightly different. You were at Death's Door and had been touch and go for days. Your grandmother and your mother had been taking turns coming up and down from London and being here with you, even sleeping in this room (though I'm sure they didn't get much sleep) and when they weren't here they were taking care of your siblings, so they were both massively stressed. Then, just as you had started to improve, you took a turn for the worse. Your Grandmother was barely hanging on. I knew from talking to her she was pretty anti-establishment and I knew from how you are and what I'd seen of her that she would probably like a bit of banter, and when she called me Charlie for the first time it was just in that way, so I took it as a sign of her trying to cope, and she needed it, so I took it. You might say it was a rite of passage. She needed the banter and I needed to feel like I was supporting your family, so it worked for both of us, and I suppose it just sort of grew from there. Does that answer your question?"

It was her turn to consider his answer. She hadn't really expected his answer to be this complex. In fact she'd only asked the question in order to get in a position to ask her next big question, but his answer spoke to so many factors, but the overwhelming one was the fact that again he was supporting her family when she could not. She was massively touched. She looked up and saw his light brown eyes staring at her, so she smiled back, "You realise she'll never stop callin' you that now?"

He grinned, "Yes, unfortunately. Maybe it's a generational thing - my mother calls me Charlie as well. She always complains that Charles is too formal – it was my great uncle's name and my father was very close to him and desperate to honour him, so they decided to call me Charles, but Mum's always hated it – she says it makes me sound stuffy…"

This was perfect. She smiled at him and said nothing, just continued to smile.

He looked at her, waiting for her to reply, but she didn't say anything and the silence stretched on, until the penny dropped. "Oh no," he groaned, "Please don't say you don't like it either."

She decided to wheel out the big guns. She'd noticed how he responded to her doe eyes yesterday, so she lowered her head slightly, widened her eyes and looked at him from under her eyelashes. This look had always worked for her when she wanted something before. "Boss…?" she asked imploringly, "Could I call you Charlie too, or at least anything that's not Charles?"

He looked at her fulminatingly for a few seconds, "It must be important if you're rolling out the doe eyes Dawesy." Secretly chuffed that they seemed to be having the desired effect she continued to look at him beseechingly. He stared at her for several more seconds, "Evil Minx," He told her, "OK we'll give it a try…but I wouldn't do this for any old medic I want you to know! And only between us. Not in public."

She grinned at him. Result. "Thanks Boss." To which he replied, "Do you really think it makes me sound stuffy?"

"Boss, it makes you sound like a complete stiff!" she told him playfully, not noticing his blank look.

"What makes him sound like a stiff?" asked her Nan from the door, attracting both of their attention. She didn't know how long Nan had been there but judging by her question, not long. The older woman walked into the room and started pulling the spare chair forward towards the bed.

She glanced back at Charles who was glaring at her forbiddingly. Shrugging off his glare, she turned back to her Nan and told her, "His name."

Nan smiled, "Oh yes, agreed. That's why I call 'im Charlie – it's much nicer and more friendly." And she turned to him and winked, "Ain't that right, _Charlie_?"

He mock-glared at both of them. Getting to his feet he told them, "I'm going to brush my teeth and get a coffee."

Molly grinned at him, "Is that what they call a tactical retreat, Boss?"

"Piss off Dawesy," he told her, beating a tactical retreat.

* * *

><p><strong>AN 1 Thanks again to Marc for his great advice on trauma injuries and treatment.**

**A/N 2 This is the longest chapter I've ever written so I hope it's OK. There were some overdue conversations in there. Please R&R.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I don't own Our Girl. Everything you recognise was created by Tony Grounds and is owned by the BBC.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 6<strong>

"I've got to hand it to you Mols," Nan told her, "I couldn't 'ave handled that better meself."

Molly looked at her suspiciously, "Just how long were you standin' there Nan?"

Nan just grinned at her, "From when 'e told you why 'e let me call 'im Charlie!

"I woke up early and couldn't sleep so I thought I'd come in 'ere and see 'ow you was doing. I 'eard me name mentioned and wondered what you was talkin' about. I must say Mols, I've said it before and I'll say it again, but 'e's definitely a keeper." She looked pensive, "'e was bang on with everythin'."

Molly thought about what it would take to push her normally cheerful Nan to the edge, "I'm sorry Nan."

Her Nan looked up and gave her a small smile, "Don't you be sorry Mols. The important thing is, you're better now. Anyway, your Captain Gorgeous just keeps surprisin' me. 'E seems to be so posh, but under the surface 'e's really carin'. 'E's a real find. You done well there Mols."

She had, and she knew it.

- OG - OG - OG - OG -

"So what do you want to say to the cockwombles then Dawesy?" It was Saturday evening and he was back in Molly's room.

He had taken his leave from the Dawes women shortly after returning from grabbing his coffee and washing his teeth, and headed back to the flat for a shower. He had tried to hide it but he had felt a bit out of sorts since his conversation with Molly about his name and wasn't sure what was wrong. He supposed if he really thought about it, he was a bit hurt by her calling him a "stiff". He knew she was just kidding, but being told you sounded like a stiff by the woman that you loved and had put your entire life on hold for did hurt a bit. Plus talking of his mum in the conversation had brought up a little bit of homesickness. It had been a long six months and he had missed his parents and Sam a lot during that time. He supposed that now Molly was out of danger, he could take a bit of time for _his_ life.

After his shower he had sat down to finish his paperwork, but the unsettled feeling hadn't gone away. He knew he was over-reacting, but just couldn't get rid of the feeling of hurt. He supposed it was probably a stress reaction. He had shelved everything when he feared that Molly might die but now she was not at death's door any longer, maybe his brain was telling him he could get on with some aspects of his life.

He had checked out train times from Birmingham to Bath with the plan of going next week, and found out that it would only take 2 hours on the train to Bath, and he realised that he could get over tomorrow to spend a few hours with his parents during the day if he wanted. The more he thought about it, the more he _did_ want it, so he called his mother and asked if she and his father were free. To say his mother was in favour would be a massive understatement. To make the situation even better she told him that Sam was having lunch with them tomorrow, so if he wanted to come for lunch they could make it a family affair. It was perfect. He didn't think Molly and Marge would have a problem with it; after all it just meant he would be back a little later tomorrow evening, but he would still spend the night in her room.

Decision made, he set about booking the train tickets. He suddenly thought he didn't have anything for Sam so he would need to go into town and see if he could pick something up for him, and for his parents as well. He could get the card for Molly to send to the cockwombles as well, and maybe some magazines, since he was sure she would start getting bored soon as her attention span recovered.

Between grabbing lunch and enjoying being out and about and getting what he needed, it had taken a fair amount more time than he had intended and he had only got back to the flat at 16.30. He had thought about texting Marge to say he would be late but had concluded that she probably had her mobile off anyway since she was in the ICU. After dropping off his stuff (he had got a Lego set for Sam and a beautiful inlaid wood photo frame for his parents), he gathered up the magazines and the card he had got for Molly and set off for the hospital, arriving just after 17.00.

Knowing he was late he skipped his visit to Candy, assuming that he could go in a bit later for an update on Smurf's condition. He was still feeling a bit under the weather but, knowing he was over-reacting, was doing his best to fight through it. Molly and her grandmother were talking quietly when he got to the room and he greeted them with a quiet "Good evening, ladies" and received enthusiastic greetings from both.

"What sorta time d'you call this?" Marge wanted to know, to which he replied, "Sorry, just got a bit carried away," then, turning to face Molly he smiled at her, "I got your card and I also got some magazines just in case you're starting to get bored." As he sat down and took them out of the bag he didn't see the concerned look the two women shared over his head.

"Thanks Boss," she replied, and then asked slightly plaintively, "don't I get a hug Boss?"

Realising that he had been negating his responsibilities he grinned at her, "Of course Dawesy, your wish is my command!" and came round the bed to give her a quick hug. He enjoyed the feeling of contact and it went some way to making him feel a bit more balanced. He sat down in the second chair and asked how their day had gone.

Their conversation was interrupted 10 minutes later by evening rounds and Charles and Marge went to wait outside. They sat side by side in the chairs in the corridor in comfortable silence.

- OG - OG - OG - OG -

Marge Smith was concerned. Normally Captain James was, if not the heart and soul of the party, certainly an active contributor to a conversation. But this evening he was subdued, almost offhand. She had been surprised when he left so early this morning (especially since he didn't have to get to Barracks today) and was even more surprised to see him show up so late this evening. Then once he did come back he had been quiet, not really getting involved with their banter. It was like he was going through the motions. He had been such a rock for her and Belinda, and certainly for Molly, that she was worried. She knew Molly was as well. They had both noted his early exit this morning and his late arrival this afternoon and she knew Molly had been starting to worry about his non-appearance. Then when he had come in, he'd not made any attempt to hug either of them until Molly asked. Since coming out of Molly's room he had just stared at the wall and hadn't said a word.

Something was going on here. Something bad. She resolved to try and find out. "So what did you get up to today, Charlie?"

He answered her question, describing his shopping trip and noting in passing that he was thinking of going to Bath during the day tomorrow, but assuring her he would still spend the night at the hospital with Molly, and checking whether she had any issues with it, and of course she didn't. But he was different; he didn't react or respond to any of her teasing banter.

When the doctors came out they both went back inside and, as Charles moved to sit down, Molly sent her a questioning look. She just shrugged and raised her eyebrows, unable to give her granddaughter any idea what was wrong with her boyfriend. Interpreting Molly's expression, she told them she would take a short break for a fag, and to call Belinda. She closed the door behind her, silently wishing her granddaughter luck.

- OG - OG - OG - OG -

"Boss?" he looked up from unwrapping the card he had bought for Molly to send to the platoon. Two wide green eyes were staring at him intently. They were moist, "Are you OK? You seem a bit – off?"

He smiled sadly. He should have known he couldn't hide anything from her, "I'm sorry Molly. I'm just feeling a bit low today. You know how it is." Every soldier knew how it was. You were away from your family and friends for months on end. You couldn't be "up" every day and everybody had down days. That's why your section became like your family; because they helped you through days like that. But here he was away from that support. He had the Dawes women, and he hoped they'd be his family some day, but they weren't yet, and he missed his real family. Everyone else, including Molly and Smurf, had had the chance to see their family since getting back, but he was still to see his.

"It's nothin' I said is it Charles?" she asked tearfully, "Because I'd never want to 'urt you. You've been so fantastic. You've been 'ere for me and my family. You've been the best boyfriend ever."

She was in tears as she finished, and he cursed himself. How selfish was he? Was he lying in a hospital bed with three bullet holes in him because _he'd _fucked up? No. Was he wondering if he'd have a career to go back to? No. Was he going to have to spend the next four to six months in rehab? No. Yet he had succeeded in making her cry and all because of one silly little conversation. He needed to pull himself together and big time. What was he? A man or a mouse? He had never been so disgusted with himself in his life.

He put the card down, rose to his feet and closed the distance round the bed, so he could wrap her up in a hug. "I'm so sorry, Molly," he told her, speaking into her hair, "I've been a bit of a pillock. I just got a bit bogged down. You know how it is when you have a bad day? One small thing becomes the biggest thing in the world and you just can't leave it behind. But it makes no odds; you're "it" for me, Molly Dawes."

She noticed that he hadn't denied that it was something she'd said that upset him, and wondered if that was intentional, but she supposed she'd have to make do with a hug and, to be fair, it was a great booby prize. She was looking forward to getting some proper hugs off him because even the half hugs they'd managed so far were pretty damn impressive from where she was lying.

He surprised her and snapped her out of her thoughts by pulling back and kissing her hard on the lips. Pulling back and snagging the tissues he told her, "I'm sorry for upsetting you, Mols, I've just been a bit homesick today." He took one for himself and passed one into her left hand, "It's been a long time since I saw Sam or my parents and it's taking its toll. If it's OK with you, I thought I might take a run down to Bath tomorrow during the day while your Grandmother's here? It's only two hours each way and, if I leave at a reasonable time I can be back by late tomorrow afternoon."

"Of course it's fine with me you numpty," She was touched that he'd effectively put his life on hold for her. Here she was spending time with the most important people in her life, her Mum, her Nan and him, and he hadn't even had the chance to see his son or his parents yet. No wonder he felt a bit down; to be back in the country but not to have seen her family would have just about killed her. It must be even more difficult for him with a young son. She wasn't quite ready not to see him, but she thought she should offer anyway, "Why don't you stay over there, Charlie? Come and see me again on Monday evenin'. Get yourself a good night's sleep? You never know – by the time you get back they may've moved me out of ICU!"

After making such a fuss in his mind about her calling him Charlie, when she finally called him Charlie he was surprised to feel a flush of warmth pass through him. He decided there and then that he was willing to make another exception for Molly if that was how it made him feel every time, "Are you trying to get rid of me Dawesy? If so, you'll need to work harder than that! You're stuck with me I'm afraid. I probably will go and spend a few days with them when you're feeling a bit better but there's no way I'm going while you're still in this condition." He told her, reaching out and tenderly pushing her hair to the side and brushing her cheek.

She leant into the contact, "And just what _condition_ is that Boss?" she asked quietly, mock-glaring at him.

"Why, Private Dawes, I thought it was obvious; the condition where you're lying flat on your back dreaming of being in bed with me, as opposed to the condition where you're lying flat on your back _in bed _with me!"

She stared at him in surprise. This was a welcome return to form, she thought, "Wow Boss, you proper rinsed me!" she exclaimed.

The words had just come out, surprising him as well as her, but he resolved to stick with it. "Indeed Dawesy," he told her grinning, "I thought you were getting a bit big for your boots!"

Then he pulled out a pen and picked up the card he had bought her, "So what do you want to say to the cockwombles then, Dawesy?"

She thought for a bit, obviously flummoxed, and he suggested, "Shall I start with "Dear Cockwombles"?"

She sniggered, "Yeah Boss, I think that's as good a start as any!"

- OG - OG - OG - OG -

Charles James walked into the Queen Elizabeth hospital on Sunday evening a totally different man. It had been a much better 24 hours for him and he felt much more balanced. Everything had started to come together, starting yesterday evening when Candy had come around for dinner and told them that Smurf's condition was much improved.

Apparently telling him that Molly was OK and not dead had really done the trick and Smurf had realised that his life hadn't totally collapsed around him. Candy said that she had told him that Molly was here and asking after him, and that Captain James had been to see him as well and that seemed to penetrate his mind. For the first time he stopped rambling and actually spoke to her and was a lot more with it. The doctors were very pleased as he was now responding to outside stimuli and they felt that they should be able to get a much better idea for his actual condition now. The only problem from Charles' point of view was that Candy now seemed to think he had saved Smurf for the second time. Molly and Marge had looked on with some amusement as she had wrapped him up in a big hug all the time tearfully thanking him. He had shot Molly a quelling glare just as she opened her mouth to make a comment.

Having escaped from Candy, and sent Marge to the flat for some rest, they had enjoyed a good evening together, filled with talk and banter. He had helped Molly finish off her short note to the section and asked whether she was ready for visitors when they released her from ICU. She had said that of course she would love to see anybody who wanted to see her, but in true under-confident Molly fashion that she was sure that given that they were heading off on leave on Tuesday she thought it was highly unlikely that any of them would want to see her. Charles thought that, given how upset they'd all been, it was highly unlikely that any of them _wouldn't_ want to see her but he played along until he could ascertain whether and when people were willing to come.

He had left at 08.00 the following morning and was in Bath by 11.00. He had received a call from Marge while he was on the train to tell him that the consultants were considering moving Molly out of ICU and she had asked whether he could be back by 7pm to be with her and Molly for a meeting after evening rounds? Of course he could be and he confirmed; he had intended to be back by then anyway.

As the train drew into Bath Spa station a feeling of calmness seemed to wash over him and he started to relax for what felt like the first time in a long time. The weather was good so he decided to walk, and he enjoyed passing many of the landmarks he remembered from his youth. As he entered Royal Crescent and looked around at his surroundings he had to stop to brush the tears from his eyes. He couldn't believe everything that had happened in his life since the last time he had stood here. As he paused outside his parents' house he realised that he was finally, truly, safely home. He laid his hand on the front door, as if trying to soak up the feeling of security that this place brought to him.

He had had this moment after each of his tours, but he realised that it felt different this time. Before he had always felt trepidation and uncertainty over what the future held, now he was looking forward to the future. And that was all down to Molly. He hoped to bring Molly here one day in the not too distant future and he hoped that she would be able to feel some of the feeling of homeliness that he felt for this place. It would be a tough sell. She had already told him she didn't like big houses. Maybe it was just a feature of the fact that she'd never been in one before, a bit like her phobia of the countryside.

Realising he had been standing there for some time, he jerked himself back to the present, used the knocker to bang on the door to let his parents know he was here, and his key to let himself in.

His reunion with his parents had been very emotional. He had thought that his mother would never let him go and even his father had clung to him longer than usual. They had had 20 minutes before Rebecca dropped Sam off, and his parents had used it to ask about his reason for staying away. Knowing that this was going to come up he had resolved to tell them about his relationship with Molly regardless. In fact he really needed to get his mother's counsel anyway; as a renowned psychologist she had been an excellent sounding board and confidante as he was growing up and he really needed to talk some of his thoughts and feelings through with her, and ask for some advice. They had only got a little way through his recantation before Rebecca arrived to drop Sam off and he knew they would have to table the discussion for a later date.

Sam, of course, had been rather excited to see his Daddy. His mother had invited Rebecca in, but she had refused, smiling at him uncomfortably and telling him that she was pleased to see him back in one piece. They had arranged that his parents would drop Sam back at about 3pm and then Rebecca had smiled at him in that slightly fragile way one last time, and left. This was the first time they had seen one another since their divorce went through, but they had previously agreed to be as amicable as possible for Sam's sake and he was pleased that that still held, even if it was difficult for both of them.

He held no ill will towards Rebecca. They had had some good times together, but at the end of the day they had married too young and they had both found that as they grew up, they grew apart. They had only stayed together as long as they had for Sam's sake, but it had been clear two years ago that he was the only thing keeping them together and she had voted with her feet after he had returned from his second tour. They had had a trial separation but it hadn't worked and they'd finally acknowledged that at the beginning of the previous year. He had accepted the role with the Under Fives to allow her the space she needed to deal with everything at the house they had bought just outside Oxford and get it sold off. He had moved back to his parents (when he wasn't living on base) and she had bought a small house near Chippenham, just outside Bath, closer to her parents but within easy reach of his parents so that Sam could remain in his life. He was grateful to her that she was prepared to allow him to remain in Sam's life and had promised himself to do everything he could to be a good father to the little boy.

The day with his parents and Sam had passed in a whirl, and in no time at all, or so it seemed to him, he was back on the train to Birmingham. His parents had insisted on dropping him at the station in Bristol, despite it being a long way out of their way, after dropping Sam back at Rebecca's. He supposed it gave them longer to talk, and by the time they got to Temple Meads he had just about got through explaining to them about what had happened to Molly and his massive feelings of guilt. His mother had kissed him goodbye with tears in her eyes and told him that she was pleased that he was back safely, and then suggested that maybe she could come and stay with him in Birmingham and maybe visit Molly and meet her grandmother which, after a moment's doubt (well, panic he supposed would be a better description!), he agreed to.

It was 18.00 when he walked back into the hospital with a spring in his step.

- OG - OG - OG - OG -

"Evening ladies!" he greeted them, striding into Molly's room. He strode over to Marge as she rose to her feet and pulled her into a tight hug which was eagerly returned, and then walked round Molly's bed to hug her as Marge observed, "Well Charlie, ain't you got some lead back in yer pencil!" causing both him and Molly to laugh out loud.

"Nan!" she groaned, "I told you not to make me laugh – it 'urts!"

"Sorry Mols," replied Marge, not looking at all sorry, "But it's nice to see 'im back to 'is best. You look much better Charlie – it must've been a good day!"

He smiled at her, "It was great to see everyone. My parents sent their love," he told her, and then looking at Molly, "to you, and to your family as well, and my mum's dying to meet you."

Molly was stunned, "You told them about me?"

He grinned at her, "Well, why wouldn't I? We've got nothing to hide. Why wouldn't I tell my parents about my brilliant girlfriend who stole my heart? And her mad grandmother, of course…" he finished, grinning at Marge.

She glared at him as Molly blushed, "An' I thought you was such a nice young man! You're in fer it now, Charlie…!"

He continued to grin, "I'm quaking in my boots Marge. At least I would be if I was wearing any. Besides," and he winked at her, "I know you won't kill me when the doctor might come through that door any minute!"

"I think I preferred you when you was quiet." She muttered, but then she grinned, "But don't think I've forgotten this, young man. You'll pay fer that."

"If I were you, I'd run now, Bossman," Molly advised, grinning at their interplay, "Nan can be pretty scary sometimes."

He grinned at her, "Don't worry Molly, I've been in the Army for 8 years and I've done four tours of Afghanistan; I reckon I can deal with whatever she throws at me!"

"Well don't say I didn't warn you, Boss…" she told him, as Marge smiled at him scarily.

- OG - OG - OG - OG -

Dr Matthews had come in right on time at 19.00, but this evening he was accompanied by a second consultant. Dr Matthews greeted them warmly and introduced the other man as Mr Sharpe. It transpired that Mr Sharpe was the senior orthopaedics consultant on the Military Ward where Molly was due to be sent after being discharged from ICU and he and his team would take over Molly's care. If Mr Sharpe was happy with Molly's condition when they examined Molly tonight then she would be transferred to the new ward during the day tomorrow.

Having visited the hospital before Charles knew that rooms in the Military Ward were either single or four person rooms. Molly, as a private, would normally expect to be in a four person room, but he wanted to try and secure a private room for her so that she could have more flexibility in the number of visitors she could have. He knew the boys would be keen to see her and he was also hatching a plan to get her family up to see her as well. All of that would be much simpler if she were in a private room, and it would also be easier for the two of them to be themselves as well. If she were in a ward with other soldiers it would be difficult for them to interact naturally. He resolved to buttonhole the consultants as they left. He would play the MC card if he needed to but he reckoned he should be OK; he didn't think that there would be too many female military patients in the hospital at the moment.

As it happened, his concerns were for nothing. When Marge and he were called back into the room after the specialists' examination of Molly, they were all informed that Molly would be transferred out of ICU tomorrow. Mr Sharpe took his leave after telling them that he looked forward to seeing them tomorrow.

Dr Matthews then winked at Charles and Molly and informed them that Molly would be in a private room since there were no other female patients currently. He took them through some of the other changes associated with her being out of ICU, the primary issue being that visiting hours were restricted to between 2.30pm and 7.30pm. He noted that he had had a word with the ward staff and they were happy for Molly to have family visitors between 8am and 8pm, which produced smiles and thanks all round. He also noted that Molly's physiotherapy would start tomorrow as well. He asked if there were any more questions, and took his leave when there were not.

Charles, realising that this might be the last time he saw Dr Matthews, suddenly realised that actually he did have some more things to ask. Making a quick excuse to the two Dawes, he headed out, catching Dr Matthews just before he left the ward.

"Oh Captain James, don't worry – I included you as family for visitation purposes," the consultant told him.

Charles smiled, "That's good to know thank you sir, but that isn't what I wanted to ask you."

"Oh? Do go on then, Captain," the consultant told him raising an eyebrow, interrogatively.

"Actually sir, there are two things. The first one is – will Molly be able to receive phone calls when she's moved? There is someone who is desperate to talk to her and can't get to Birmingham."

"Oh?" the consultant looked interested, "Then the answer is yes, there are pay phones next to each bed for the patients' use. They would need to pay to make outgoing calls but incoming calls are free."

"Even international calls?" Charles queried.

"Oh yes, we often get a soldier's unit wanting to check up on them so yes. Also, once she's fully stabilised and off life support monitoring she should be able to use her laptop and phone as well. That will probably be three to four more days or so." The consultant told him.

"That's great, thank you sir," replied Charles, "The next question is a bit personal and I wanted to apologise if you feel it's too personal, but I wondered when your wife might be coming home?" Seeing the consultant's look of surprise, he hastened to add, "I promised myself that I would buy her a bunch of flowers or something to say thank you for saving Molly and for keeping me updated with her condition, and I wondered if I might be able to deliver them in person or would need to send them?"

Dr Matthews was amused. You didn't get this every day, but he supposed that Nicky _had_ gone out of her way to help the Captain, and she had certainly saved Molly's life. It was interesting though; very few patients or their families actually followed up on thanking the people who had saved their lives. Clearly Captain James was a bit different. He looked forward to seeing Nicky's face.

He suddenly became aware that Captain James was looking at him nervously and smiled reassuringly, "Don't worry Captain. It's very nice to hear that you feel that strongly. Actually we're expecting her back towards the end of May, so it's very possible that Private Dawes will still be here when she returns. If you are planning on getting her something, could I suggest however that chocolates may be better than flowers? You know what they say about the way to a woman's heart?! I don't know how high your budget stretches but there is a very good chocolate shop in London that she loves that I always buy from when I go down for conferences. It's called Artisan du Chocolat. The shop I buy from is on Lower Sloane Street, just down from Sloane Square tube station, but they're on the internet as well. Keep in touch with me and I can let you know when she's back. If your budget doesn't stretch that far, I'm sure she would be delighted to receive anything from you and Molly though." he told Captain James, smiling.

"Thank you sir, I know the area. One of my best friends from university lives near Battersea Park so I'm sure I can find the shop. It would be a real pleasure for Molly and I to thank her in person." They exchanged e-mail addresses, and then all that remained was for Charles to tell him, "Thank you for all that you and your team have done for Molly, Dr Matthews. We all really appreciate it."

"It was our pleasure, Captain James, and now that we do not have a professional relationship, I would hope that the next time we meet that you and Molly would call us Richard and Nicky."

Captain James thought that _that_ request might be more difficult to honour.

- OG - OG - OG - OG -

"Mols, there's something we need to talk about."

She looked at him, concerned by his serious tone. It was 21.30 and they were alone in her room. They had kicked Marge out but he had stayed, despite her insisting that she wasn't likely to peg it during the night and that he could go and get a good night's sleep on a proper bed. He had insisted that he would stay with her on her last night in ICU and he wouldn't be moved. She had thought her Nan was stubborn but he really was something else. Not that she wasn't grateful, mind; she wasn't looking forward to being on her own in the hospital one bit. Since she woke up, one of her family or him had been with her all the time and that had made her feel so safe and loved, she couldn't describe it.

"It's about the boys." He told her, smiling at her questioning look. "Well I'm pretty sure that they're going to come and see you, even if you don't think so," he half glared at her, mocking her lack of confidence.

"Well it'll be lovely if they do Boss, but why would they want to be with me when they can be with their families?" she asked.

This time he did glare at her, "You don't think they might be worried about you?" he enquired sarcastically, "After all, the last time they saw you, you were covered in blood and being rushed into a rescue helicopter with no heartbeat. I mean it's not like they just spent five and a half months on deployment with you in a war zone, or that you were part of their section, part of their family, that you depended on one another every day or anything?"

He took a deep breath as she looked down, "Anyway, that's by the by. What I'm getting at is when, that's _when_, not _if_ by the way, they come here, they're going to be a bit surprised to see their Platoon commander spending all his time here. I mean they're probably already wondering why I'm spending so much time here anyway. I suppose maybe they think I'm sharing my time between you and Smurf but that's not going to hold when they're actually here."

She looked at him confusedly. For a minute she had thought he was saying he couldn't be here when the boys were here, but his statement that they would wonder what was up confused her. She told him, "I don't see where you're goin' with this Charlie?"

"It's quite clear, Molly," he told her calmly, leaning over and taking her hand in both of his, "I need to tell them about us."

"What?!" They were just seven words and he said them so calmly and quietly that it took them a moment to percolate through to her. She stared at him as though he were mad, but he just sat there calmly and carried on massaging her hand, as if to give her time to calm down.

His light brown eyes held hers. "Think about it Molly. The Army already knows, so we won't serve together again and you would probably have been re-assigned anyway after this tour, relationship or no relationship. You'll probably go off to a medical regiment or something like that to further your training and so you can share what you've learnt. If you're not in the Platoon any more, what does it matter if the boys know? I mean they'll probably take the piss out of me, but they'd do that anyway. We both know they'll be too scared to take the piss out of you!" They both grinned, "And think about it from their point of view. They'd be pretty upset if we weren't straight with them and they found out about it afterwards, wouldn't they? You would be if you were in that situation, wouldn't you?" he finished, his brown eyes boring into her green ones.

And he was right. Putting herself in their position, she would be pretty pissed off. She hadn't thought about where she would serve after this deployment, but he was right about that as well. She would almost certainly have another stage of medical training. He had obviously thought about this a lot.

"Are you sure Boss? Once we tell them, there's no going back."

His eyes continued to focus on her, but now they were warm and loving, "I am Molly. The Army knows officially already, so there really is no going back. I will inform Major Beck tomorrow that you are my girlfriend. After that you will be re-assigned anyway. It seems right to tell the guys. They all care about you. They've been worried about you and I know they'll want to see you. It's a lot to take in, I know, but think it over tonight and just tell me in the morning if you're alright with it."

She gazed at him. He was right, she knew it. "I don't need to think about it Boss, you're right. I'm just a bit sad because I wanted to be there to see their faces. Have you thought about how you're going to do it?"

He grinned and his eyes crinkled, "Well, now you mention it, I was thinking…"

- OG - OG - OG - OG -

Major Roger Beck was unpacking his stuff in his quarters at Bicester when the messenger arrived asking him to call the Colonel.

Grumbling to himself he switched on his computer. It was 18.30 on Sunday and he had only been back in the country for 5 hours. He'd spent a wonderful few hours at Brize Norton with Jean and his two little boys, Mark and Fred, but it had been all too brief, before he'd had to get back to Barracks. At least he'd be able to spend more time with them over the next week before he'd be on leave for a few weeks. Normally one's CO would give one the evening to settle in before calling, so he supposed it must be urgent. He enabled his camera and pressed the icon for the Colonel's connection. "Sir." He reported, sitting at attention. "At ease, Roger" replied Lieutenant Colonel Christopher Smith, "and welcome home."

"Thank you sir," he replied, wondering what the call was about. The only possible reason to accelerate matters would be for bad news. Oh God, he hoped it wasn't about Private Dawes. As it happened his hopes were about to be dashed; it was about Private Dawes but not quite in the way he had expected.

"Roger, sorry to call you when you've just got back, but I wanted to check out this medal citation you sent through and particularly the "special circumstances" associated with it."

_Ah, now it became clear_, he thought, _the Colonel was performing the CYA manoeuvre!_

"Yes sir, I guess I can understand that." He replied, inviting the Colonel to continue.

"I just want to be totally clear about the order of things. Your understanding is that there was nothing between Dawes and Captain James until a few weeks ago?"

"Yes sir, Captain James was quite clear about that. And they haven't actually done anything sir. He just told me that they have feelings for one another but that they had agreed to wait out until they got back to the UK because of his duty of care."

"OK, so there's no possibility of wrongdoing with the MC citation, Roger?"

"No sir, I can confirm that they were not on good terms at the beginning of the tour. In fact sir, he nearly washed her out."

"Really, Roger?" the Colonel sounded surprised.

"Yes sir, they had words at Brize and she froze when she was called in to work on an emergency at Bastion. They were not on good terms at the beginning of the deployment. But as he worked with her, particularly following her actions with Private Smith, he realised that she was an excellent medic and had a lot of potential as a soldier."

"So there's no issue with the medal citation or the Annual Fitness Report?" asked the Colonel.

_Bloody Hell_, thought Beck, _how many ways do I have to put this?_ "No sir, I am convinced that whatever happened, only happened over the past 4-5 weeks. Captain James is one of my best officers sir, and he has always acted extremely professionally, even in this instance."

"OK Roger, and the Mention in Dispatches?"

_Bloody Hell, the Old Man must be really worried about this._ "_I_ put her in for the MiD sir, and I can assure you I have no feelings for Private Dawes beyond admiration for her as a damn fine medic and soldier and an excellent human being."

"OK Roger, so the only issue then is their behaviour in the compound before the contact on the bridge…? I don't want to subsequently find out that they were banging and that's what set Smith off."

Beck grimaced at the Colonel's statement, "Yes sir, and I have interviewed all the members of Two Section, and they all confirm that Captain James was alone with Private Dawes for no more than 3 minutes and that the section was in an adjacent room. They would have heard if anything untoward happened. They confirmed that the Captain spoke to Dawes but did not hear the conversation or anything else. I would like to re-iterate that I spoke to Captain James about this on several occasions and I believe him."

The Colonel obviously realised he'd gone too far and hurried to make amends, "OK Roger, but you understand why we have to make certain? I've seen the citation and you're clearly aiming for a CGC. She would be the first woman to receive the award. And we're not supposed to have women in frontline combat; having them as medics is bad enough for some. If she gets the CGC, and from what you've written and told me she certainly deserves that award, then the press are going to swarm all over this like flies on shit and if there's even the smallest accusation of impropriety it will be a fiasco for both the Army and for the cause of having women in the Army, particularly with the discussion about allowing women to serve on the frontline going on at the moment."

He hadn't thought about it in quite those terms, but the Colonel was right. But he was right as well. She damn well deserved that award. "I understand sir, but I believe Captain James and I truly believe that Private Dawes deserves this award."

"OK Roger, I just wanted to check. I agree with you. I will endorse the citation and send it up the line. I don't expect you've heard the end of this, though."

"No sir, I suppose not."

"OK Roger, enjoy the rest of your evening and we'll talk tomorrow."

"Yes sir, Good Evening."

- OG - OG - OG - OG -

Captain Charles James paused outside Major Beck's office and straightened his uniform and his beret. It was 09.30 and he had been on the base for only about 30 minutes but had received an e-mail asking him to report to Major Beck as soon as possible. He rapped on the door and received the command to "Enter!"

Striding into the office, he braced to attention and told the Major, "Captain Charles James, reporting as ordered sir!"

The Major rose from his desk and came around to shake his hand, "Ah Charles, good. At ease. In fact, why don't you have a seat? I just wanted to chat a few things over with you. First things first, how is Private Dawes?"

Charles was a bit surprised to be invited to sit in the break out area of the Major's office, but wasn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth. "She's making good progress sir. It was very touch and go for a while but she's fully conscious now. In fact they're going to move her from ICU to the military ward today."

"Oh, that's excellent news, Charles," replied the Major, smiling in a relieved way, "I've been requesting the reports but they don't generally tell you unless something has changed, generally for the worse. I'm pleased she is doing better, and please pass on my regards when next you see her."

"Certainly sir" he confirmed, surprised that the Major was concerning himself with Molly's condition.

The Major must have picked up his surprise because he volunteered, "Don't think that you're the only one that has a healthy respect for Private Dawes, Captain. Many of us admire the soldier she's become. However, there is something you need to be aware of. Major Morley told me that he told you that he has nominated Private Dawes for the Silver Star – is that correct?"

"Yes sir"

"OK, and you know her MC and MiD were both approved?"

"Yes sir"

"Then you should be aware that, following your after action report, and interviews with the rest of your men, I have submitted a citation for a second award."

"Sir?" He was stunned. It was unprecedented for one person to receive two major awards during one tour. Normally they would just lump the event that justified the second award into the first one.

"I believe that, based on the reports, it would be unfair to Private Dawes not to treat the two incidents as separate. However, there is the possibility that Higher may disagree, so you shouldn't communicate the MC to Private Dawes as yet. It is possible that the MC will still be subsumed into a second, higher award."

Charles gulped. The Military Cross was the third highest decoration for gallantry under fire available to Army personnel. A higher award could only mean either the Conspicuous Gallantry Cross or the Victoria Cross. For Molly, as either a woman or a medic, to receive either of those two awards would be an event of massive significance for the British Army.

"Wow, sir"

"Wow, indeed Captain. I've kept you out of this until now for obvious reasons, but I wanted you to be aware. The Colonel has approved the citation and it is going up the Chain of Command. It is highly likely that, given your relationship with Private Dawes there will be quite a lot of focus on this award, so you should expect to be called for another interview."

"I don't know what to say sir, except thank you. Irrespective of our relationship, what Private Dawes did on both occasions was absolutely awesome and I am delighted that she will be honoured for it."

"Agreed, Charles, agreed. Now, onto other things. I've seen your leave request and I've approved it."

"Thank you sir," That was a weight off from his point of view, but there was more news he needed to tell the Major, particularly in light of this new revelation. "Sir, I'm not quite sure how to broach this, but I guess I should just tell you straight out. I asked Private Dawes to be my girlfriend and she has agreed. We've discussed the situation and I would like to request a transfer for Private Dawes."

The Major smiled. "Not to worry, Charles, I had been expecting this anyway. Private Dawes was due to be re-assigned to 4 Armoured Medical Regiment after her tour anyway. I will just move that assignment up. Since you are officially on leave and she is on medical leave there should be no ramifications. I'm pleased for you, Charles."

"Thank you sir." He replied, "Is it OK if I tell the men today? Obviously I wouldn't ordinarily but they are worried about her and now she won't come back to the unit. I think they have a right to know why."

Major Beck was surprised, but thinking about it he supposed it made sense. Private Dawes would not return to the Under Fives and her section, in particular, would want to make sure she was OK, he supposed. "Yes Charles, you can tell them today, if you want to."

They attended to some Company and Platoon business and Charles noted that he had handed over the Platoon paperwork to the Major's admin team earlier. They left with Charles checking and the Major confirming that he would attend the Platoon's homecoming parade tomorrow. The Major brought the meeting to a close and they stood. Charles braced to attention, they exchanged salutes and he left. _One down, one to go_ he thought.

- OG - OG - OG - OG -

Sean Addy, who now thought of himself as Brains, his nickname since he had been in the Army, followed his mates from Two Section as they filed into the room, surprised to see their Platoon commander standing at the front. Captain James hadn't been around too much over the past week and had looked pretty tired and strung out when he had been there. He supposed that having two soldiers in Intensive Care would do that to a commander, especially one who seemed to care about his people as much as Captain James.

He supposed that saying that Captain James was the best officer he had ever served with was a bit nonsensical given that he had only had two officers in his career so far, but Captain James was head and shoulders above Captain Carmichael as an officer, and as a man as well, and he counted himself as really lucky that he had been deployed with Captain James. He had kept everyone alive and that was a pretty good return as far as Brains was concerned.

Kinders was last through the door and nodded at the Captain, "All present, Sir." Then he faced them, "Ten-hut!" They all braced to attention and the Captain told them, "At ease. Take a seat boys, we've got a bit of admin to talk about regarding leave and tomorrow's parade, but before that there's a couple of important things we have to talk about."

The Captain was looking a bit nervous and Brains wondered what was going on.

"I visited Molly and Smurf at the hospital over the weekend. You'll be pleased to know that Smurf is a bit better and that Molly is now out of danger and will be moved out of ICU later today." He paused and smiled as everyone cheered. Dangles leaned over to give Nude Nut a High Five. Those two had been particularly concerned for Molly, given that they had seen her up close and personal after she had been wounded. They hadn't been able to talk about how she had been for a few days afterwards and had just said that she had looked "horrible".

It was strange to think how they had all come to rely on Molly. He thought back to the beginning of the tour and how cruel they had all been to her. It was one of his biggest regrets. The Boss had told them that the thing that set apart the British Army was that everybody looked out for everyone else, but they hadn't looked out for Molly. But she'd looked out for them. It made him feel small just to think about it. Smurf had been a real bastard and then she'd gone and saved him. Crawled across a fucking minefield to do it too. And faced down the Captain. That wasn't easy to do either – he remembered the two or three times the Captain had given him a bollocking. He was one scary man when he was pissed off!

When they had all got back to the FOB from the Mountain CP and Molly had still been at Bastion, the Boss had asked what they'd learnt from the mission. Various members of the team had volunteered points to him until the Boss had swung around and shouted at them, "Did any of you listen when I told you that you needed to look out for the other members of your section?" Stunned, they had all replied that they had, "Did you really?" the Boss had asked quietly, "because from where I'm standing only one member of this section looked out for everyone, and SHE'S NOT HERE NOW!" As they all shrunk away from his anger, he had continued, "You fuckwits isolated her for doing her job. YOU ISOLATED HER! I have never been so disappointed in you as I am today. She came to me with a concern and based on what happened today she was right! I don't know what Smurf said to you, but if he had a problem with her it was up to him to deal with it. You had no business getting involved. You all need to have a good look at yourselves and decide whether you're kids or soldiers, because from where I'm standing you're well named as under-fives! You need to fucking grow up. Kinders – with me!" And with that he had strode out. The Boss had been right as well. In the cold, hard light of day what they had done, what he had done, was just wrong.

And it was made even worse because when they had given Molly a chance to fit in, she had been great. She had great banter, was supportive to all of them and was a great comrade. Despite the fact that she was probably one of the youngest in the group she had been there for all of them at one time or another, supporting them through bad news from home, homesickness and arguments, calming them down and generally helping the section and the whole platoon to function better.

Brains knew that she found the physical requirements tough sometimes, but she never complained, always did her best. When she had been on double patrols because of heightened Taliban activity around Christmas she had been shattered but was still there for everyone in the evenings.

Over time the section had become like a family and Molly was like the elder sister. You could talk about your problems to her and she gave advice. When someone was low she was first in line to help pick them up. One minute she would be taking the piss and the next she'd be there for you.

And for a time they thought they had lost their elder sister. And for Brains, who _had_ lost his elder sister in real life as well, that was horrific.

So this news was very much appreciated, but it seemed Captain James had more to say.

"I've spoken to Major Beck this morning, and I'm sorry to tell you that Molly will not be returning to the Under Fives."

They all looked at each other, their faces falling. Did that mean that Molly was so injured that she would have to leave the Army? The Captain had obviously noticed the reaction because he immediately told them, "Sorry, let me re-phrase that. Molly is expecting to return to active service, it's just that as of today she has been re-assigned."

This was a little bit like pulling teeth, so Brains spoke up, "I'm sorry sir, I don't understand. Why would she need to be re-assigned while she's still in hospital?"

The Captain was doing that lip biting thing he did. This was strange because he really only did that when he was nervous. He replied to them all, "It's what the Army does when two people in a relationship are in the same chain of command."

That made him think. _Did the Boss mean Smurf and Molly? Smurf had certainly been trying it on, but nothing had changed there. Smurf was still supposedly out of it, so how could the Army have found out they were an item, unless Molly had told them. But Molly always said she had no interest in Smurf. Maybe the Boss had found out on one of his visits to the hospital. Hang on, the Boss had been at the hospital an awful lot…_ His thoughts ground to a halt and he looked up, just as Mansfield jumped to the wrong conclusion, "But we already knew that Smurf fancied Molly, Boss – why is that new news?"

If possible, the Boss looked even more uncomfortable. Brains looked round the room. Everyone else looked perplexed. Was he the only one who got it? What about Kinders? Nope, he was looking puzzled too. He decided to put Captain James out of his misery, "How long Bossman?"

All their heads swung towards him, and Captain James looked at him piercingly, "I should have known you'd be the first to get it Brains!"

"Get what?" Fingers just about exploded. The Captain raised his eyebrows at him interrogatively, so he looked at his section, "It's not Smurf and Molly you muppets, it's the Boss and Molly." He told them.

He reckoned he couldn't get a better reaction if Prince Harry had tap-danced around the room naked. Everyone just stopped. Mansfield had just taken a breath before speaking and sort of deflated, Kinders backed against the wall and there were about five exclamations of "What?!" They all swung towards Captain James. The Captain smiled nervously, "Brains is right. Without going into details, we'd been aware for a while that we had feelings for one another but resolved to wait out until we got back to the UK. Obviously what happened accelerated things a bit, and since we are now back in the UK I asked her out and she agreed.

"Normally we wouldn't have told you guys, but with her being injured she's going to need support and I hoped that some of you might be prepared to go and see her while she's in hospital, and obviously I will be there for much of the time, so we wanted you guys to understand why. It's going to be a long recovery and she will really need support from you guys, and I know she'd be really grateful. Also, with her being re-assigned I thought we both owed it to you guys to tell you since I know how close you all are.

"OK, you'll have a chance to chat among yourselves later, but now I want to give you an update on the arrangements for leave and the homecoming parade tomorrow…"

As the Captain droned on, there was just one thing going through Brains' head. They'd failed Molly once before, and there was no way they would do it again. He would be there for her this time and he was sure the other boys would as well. Half of the section lived in the north of England and between them they could make sure that Molly had a visitor, if not every day, then most days. He was dying to get back and see his family again, and maybe take some time away as well, but they would make sure that Molly was taken care of while she needed support.

- OG - OG - OG - OG -

As Charles James walked into the Queen Elizabeth hospital that afternoon, he reflected on an amazing day. As he had hoped, the boys had come to the party in a big way for Molly. He couldn't wait until she saw what they had in store for her. There was no way he was going to let on to her what they were up to before it happened though.

After his briefing he had given the note he had written for Molly, and she had signed, to Kinders and returned to his quarters to get his kit squared away for tomorrow and start to pack, since he would be leaving Barracks as soon as the men went on leave tomorrow.

He had been surprised, nearly two hours later, by a knock on the door. Kinders and Brains stood outside and he had invited them in, wondering if anything was wrong. Kinders had started off, "Sir, on behalf of the section we'd like to thank you and Molly for telling us about your relationship. We realise that it's very private and we are really grateful you've confided in us. No-one will hear of it from us."

Well, that was very nice. He hadn't even thought about them spreading the news around, but it was a weight off that they didn't seem to hold anything against Molly and him. He replied, "Thank you Kinders."

Brains was next, and what he said practically brought tears to Charles' eyes, "Sir, as you know we're very close together as a section and Molly is really important to us. We look on her as a kind of elder sister," his eyes teared up and Charles, knowing that he had lost his elder sister, exchanged sad smiles with him, "We all know we failed Molly at the beginning of the tour and that will NOT happen again. We've arranged a rota for the next few weeks so that one of the section will visit Molly every day, starting on Wednesday. I'll co-ordinate the rota and I thought that if we could exchange e-mail addresses then I could co-ordinate the visits with you, if that's OK, sir?"

OK? OK? As far as he was concerned it was bloody brilliant. He had thanked them profusely. They had exchanged e-mail addresses and Kinders had handed over a few more letters and cards for Molly and then the two had braced to attention, saluted and left. He had stood staring after them for several minutes before he had recovered himself.

On the journey to the hospital today he had co-ordinated Molly's afternoon call and was ready to get it sorted as soon as he arrived. He hoped she'd be awake.

Arriving at the hospital, he strode around to the Military Ward, hoping she had already been moved, and asked at the Nurses' station. A tall nurse with dark brown hair and warm brown eyes greeted him and confirmed that Molly was already in her room. He asked for the number of the phone in her room and after receiving it, pinged off a text message along with two words, "10 minutes". As the nurse guided him along the corridor to the new room, his phone vibrated with a message, "OK".

Walking into Molly's room he got another shock. The ever present drip in her neck had been removed and replaced with a stick on plaster, and she was sitting up a bit higher on the bed. She was still connected to the muted life support monitor, but there were significantly fewer wires connected to her.

As he walked through the door he observed, "Wow Mols, you look much better!" He hugged Marge, and then walked round the bed to hug her. It was much easier with her back supported. Her right arm still hung down and was tied to her body, but she looked much more comfortable. She grinned at him, "It's nice to lose a few wires Boss. Still a few more to go though!" she noted, looking at the life support machine.

As he looked around the room, he noticed that it was pretty nice, if sparse. It was a rectangular room with a window, an ensuite bathroom and boasted a small table and a few chairs. "Nice digs, Mols," he observed, "I didn't know you had friends in high places!"

She grinned at him, "Stick with me Boss, I'm full of surprises!"

They made small talk for a few minutes, and then he suddenly remembered the phone call. "Where's the phone?" he asked Marge. They looked around for a few seconds and found it attached to the wall behind her bed. The receiver was on a long lead and could easily be pulled over.

Molly looked puzzled, "What's goin' on Boss?" to which he replied, "Well, Dawesy, one of your fans has been pestering me for updates for the whole time you've been here and since they can't get to the hospital, I thought I'd arrange a call for you. I checked the number at the nurses' station and they're due to call in…" he looked at his watch, "oh, about 2 minutes."

She looked at him questioningly, "Who is it Boss? Is it one of the boys?"

He smiled, "Well that's for me to know Dawesy, and you to find out…" He and Marge shared a grin.

She gave him a black look, "We might gonna need a discussion about this Boss…"

He gave her a shit-eating grin, "You've only got to wait 30 seconds Dawesy, is it really so difficult? Besides, I can guarantee you that you'll be pleased."

Just then the phone in the room started to ring. He leapt up and answered it, "Hello… Yes. Oh great. Yes, she's right here. I'll just put her on, bear with me…"

He turned to her, "Are you ready Dawesy?"

"Just give me the bloody phone Boss!" she growled, glowering at him.

"Ah, the impatience of youth," he teased, grinning at Marge who grinned back at him, enjoying the banter. He pushed the phone into her left hand and then waited by her to make sure she could move it up to her ear.

She managed it, and spoke into the receiver, "Hello?" she asked.

* * *

><p><strong>AN 1 Hope you enjoyed it. If so, please review!**

**A/N 2 Any guesses as to the mystery caller? I think I made it pretty obvious.**

**A/N 3 I will be on holiday for a while so I don't know when the next update will be, but hopefully by the middle of January.**

**A/N 4 For any of those wondering, "CYA" means Cover Your Arse (or Ass as our American cousins like to call it)!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I don't own Our Girl. Everything you recognise was created by Tony Grounds and is owned by the BBC.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 7<strong>

_"Ah, the impatience of youth," he teased, grinning at Marge, but pushing the phone into her left hand and then staying by her to make sure she could move it up to her ear._

_She managed it, and spoke into the receiver, "Hello?" she asked._

"Hello, Molly Dawes" said the caller.

"Qaseem?" she choked out, unable to believe her ears, twisting her head round to look at Charles for confirmation. He smiled happily at her and nodded his head, just as the caller confirmed, "Yes, it is me."

Molly was amazed. She had expected it to be someone from the section, like Dangles or Nude Nut. She had seen how much her injuries had upset them on the bridge and she expected that they would have wanted to reassure themselves that she was OK. But she would never have imagined that either Qaseem would want to speak to her, or that Charles would have gone to the trouble of organising for him to speak to her. She was really touched.

Qaseem had been like she had always imagined a father would be while she was out in Afghan (while she cared for her Dad, he had been a right bugger to grow up with and hadn't been much of a father at all, culminating in him trying to blackmail her into marrying Artan). After seeing that she was genuinely interested in communicating and learning, Qaseem had taken her under his wing and helped her to learn not only the language, but some of the culture as well. They had learned about five words a day so that she now had quite a reasonable vocabulary, although she was conscious of the fact that her accent was still horrible. By the end of the tour they had got to the point where she could hold a basic conversation, asking if someone was well and understanding their answer, and she could manage other basic conversations like asking for directions, etc.

But it had been more than that. After his confession to her about the deaths of his wife and daughter, and what had happened with Bashira, they had become even closer. She had told him about her family back in London, and about growing up there, and he had talked a bit about his life and his experiences, and she had come to rely on him as a confidante and general adviser. When the guys were pissing her off, or she came across some cultural issue that she didn't understand he would patiently talk her through it and his advice was always helpful and sound. About the only thing she hadn't discussed with him was her relationship with Charles, but she thought that he had had an inkling about it although he didn't say anything to her. He missed very little and was a good observer and would often notice that someone was having a bad day before her or the rest of the section.

Now she went to greet him in Pash'to but realised to her horror that she couldn't really remember the words. It must be the painkillers. They were still pretty strong.

"I'm sorry Qaseem, my painkillers are still pretty strong, I can't recall my Pash'to, but I'll get it for next time." She told him.

"Knowing that you are alive and that you will recover is enough for me," he told her in his slow, careful English, "but I will not be so soft on you next time, _talib_!" He had started calling her _talib_, student, a few weeks into the deployment. It was a private thing between the two of them that they would only do when they were alone, and when they had their lessons together she would call him _malem_, teacher.

"I understand, _malem_," she answered, smiling softly at the endearment, "How have you been? Bossman told me that you have gone back to being a civilian."

They talked for another five minutes with him telling her his plans to go back to his old job and that he was staying with extended family, but planned to get a flat of his own near to the university when confirmation of the job came through. She was focusing on what he was telling her and appreciated that the line was not that bad, but in the background she could hear Charles explaining to her Nan who Qaseem was.

The emotion of speaking to him, and the developments of the day were catching up with her and she could feel herself slowing down and struggling to maintain her hold on the receiver. Seeing her issues Charles came over and took over holding the receiver for her so that she could rest her arm. But that only kept her going for another minute and her voice was weakening. Qaseem obviously noticed because he wound up the call, telling her that he was pleased to talk to her and asking whether she would mind him calling again. She told him, of course, that she would love to talk to him. They signed off with her thanking him for the call.

As Charles replaced the receiver and went to sit down, she reached out to him. She was sleepy after the emotions that the call had brought up, and the effort of holding the receiver, although it had only been for 10 minutes, but it was very important to her that she thanked Charles before she had a snooze.

"Thanks Boss, I really appreciate you organising that," she told him quietly.

"Ah, so you're not angry with me then Dawesy?" he asked sarcastically.

"No Boss, just very, very grateful. You're a great boyfriend."

"So serious, Dawesy? Now I'm getting worried." She smiled up at him tiredly before she drifted off to sleep.

- OG - OG - OG - OG -

She only snoozed for about 15 minutes, but she thought she was due a rest; it had been a big day, what with the move to the new ward, which was pretty disorientating, and everything else. She had found the lights passing over her head made her dizzy and the porter, Dave, had suggested she closed her eyes, which made it better, but not great. Nan had come with her and given her a running commentary which helped her to find something else to focus on.

Once she arrived in the new ward she and Nan had both been bowled over with the room. It was a good size, had several chairs and a table, a bookshelf, and even an ensuite bathroom, which Nan couldn't believe. She had told her, "Yer really comin' up in the world Mols!"

It had been a bit downhill from there though. She had had a detailed physical examination from the new specialists and nurses (and it was still painful when they moved her around), an ultrasound and her vascular surgeon had been by to check up on his work (he was pleased by her progress). They had taken the neck line out, for which she was grateful since it was starting to bruise and it made hugging difficult (and she needed the hugs, particularly from Charles), but had put in a separate drip in her right arm which she wasn't quite so chuffed about.

When she got back after her ultrasound the physio had come to introduce herself. Noora Singh was a late-twenties Indian woman with long, straight, dark hair, and she looked a bit like how Molly thought Bashira might look in 10 years time. She had introduced herself and talked a little bit about what the treatment would entail. She seemed very nice but was quite strict. Molly had been excited to start on the physio but found the actual exercises pretty painful and extremely tiring. Noora told her that she would expect that at the beginning. They were primarily working on her limbs since her abdomen was still immobilised but Noora told her they would start to work on that soon.

Straight after the physio had been lunch and then the nurses had given her a bed-bath, which she had needed since after the physio, in Nan's words, she totally honked! She had managed a short nap, but had woken up just before Charles had arrived in her room. Then came the emotional conversation with Qaseem, and here she was. She was a bit nervous about tonight, since it would be the first time that she had been alone in the hospital, but knew she needed to get used to it. Part of her thought it would be nice to have room-mates but another part of her was pleased to have the private room.

She woke to hear her Nan and Charles talking about tomorrow's parade. She tried to keep her eyes closed and pretend to be asleep but once again Charles rumbled her. She was starting to get a complex that maybe she _did_ actually snore.

He had teased her, "Ah Dawesy, nice of you to join us. We were wondering if you were going to grace us with your presence for the rest of the evening!"

They had had a good catch up then Nan went to see if Candy wanted to join them for their regular dinner. It was a bit more involved now since Smurf was still in ICU, but Candy, who did join then for dinner, told them he would have an exploratory procedure tomorrow and, if all went well, a final procedure on Friday. If all went according to plan he should move down to the ward next week and should be able to go home within two weeks, before her actually. While she was happy for Smurf she couldn't avoid a grimace at the fact that he would be out of here before she was. The Bossman had caught her eye, and reassured her that she would be out of here soon as well.

She didn't know what she was going to do here while she was recovering. The Boss had brought her a few magazines the other day but they had got old pretty quickly, she supposed there was her laptop but she didn't know where that was, and she had never been a big reader and couldn't focus anyway with the drugs she was on. Maybe now was the time to start! She asked Nan whether her laptop and mobile were at home and Nan assured her she would ask her Mum.

Bossman took the opportunity to suggest that a call now from the room might be a good idea. Then she could talk to her siblings and everyone she hadn't seen. The idea flummoxed her. She hadn't even thought that now they could call from the room. She would be able to talk to her Mum every day. Nan was worried about the cost and the Boss said that it was only for a week and that after that she should be able to use her mobile, but if there was an issue he would use his credit card. She wasn't having that. After all she had about fourteen grand deployment money and unused pay to spend and she didn't reckon a few phone calls would make too much of a dent in that. She told the Boss she would pay him back. A small argument ensued but she told him to stick it. Infuriatingly, he grinned at her and told her, "It's nice to have you back Dawesy!"

As Nan went to start the call, and the Bossman put in his credit card number she couldn't help the collywobbles. Apart from her mum it would be the first time she had spoken to anyone else since she was hurt. Even though she had managed to speak to the family twice from Bastion, the line had been pretty poor on both occasions and this would effectively be the first time she would speak to them since she was back for R&R several long months ago.

Nan went first and then handed the receiver to her. "Mols?" her Mum's voice came from the receiver.

"Hi Mum, how are you?"

"Ain't that sposed to be my line, Mols?" asked her Mum, and then clearly calling to someone in the background, "Bella get your Dad back 'ere NOW. Tell 'im it's Molly!" Then she carried on, talking to Molly again, "Your Dad's just left to go to the pub – Bella's gone to see if she can catch 'im. How are you doin' Mols? It's so nice to 'ear your voice."

She told her Mum all about the room move and the smart single room with ensuite bathroom, and about the physio. She finished by telling her that the neck line was out now and the life support machine would go in a few days, so the next time she saw her there should be a lot fewer wires.

"That's great Mols," Mum sounded happy, but a bit distracted. She found out why, when Mum told her there were some people who wanted to talk to her and put the kids on. It was difficult talking to the young uns by phone, particularly when she didn't really know what to say to them. She fell back on the easy questions of how they were doing at school. She was getting tired more quickly, and as her Mum came back on, Charles was already getting up to hold the receiver for her, pushing her hand down to her side.

Dad still hadn't come back and she was running out of energy fast. Charles suddenly took the receiver away and greeted her mother, "Hello Mrs Dawes, it's Charles James. Sorry to interrupt, but Molly's tiring fast, maybe her father could call back when he gets in, or if you can't get hold of him just give me a quick call and we can arrange something for tomorrow?" she saw him smile and he replied, obviously to a question from her Mum, "Yes, much better now. I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Molly and I, but I wanted to make sure that she was still interested in me before telling anyone." Her mother replied and the Bossman went bright red, turning round to shoot a piercing glare at Nan. She looked at Nan enquiringly and she mouthed back "later", then the Boss smiled dangerously and winked at Nan and told her "touché". She just gave him a shit-eating grin back, and he went back to the phone, telling her Mum "well, luckily it doesn't look like that's going to be an issue!" Then he smiled, told her "I'll get her on. Be quick, please." And made to hold the receiver to her ear again.

She looked at him gratefully and said, "Hello?"

"Molly?" It was Bella, bless her, panting and sounding out of breath. She replied, "Hey Bells, how're you doing?"

"Oh Molly, thank God!" her sister all but cried, "I was so worried. I thought you would die and I would never get to tell you that you're the best big sister ever…I'm sorry for being such a bitch when you were back last time. I'll never do it again. Please come back soon."

She smiled sadly, "I'm sorry I worried you luv. I'll be back when I can. Maybe you could come and see me again. I promise I don't look so scary now!"

Her sister was crying, but she just about heard, "I'd like that." Then, "Dad's here. He ran back from the pub. He wants to talk to you."

She braced herself, not quite knowing what to expect. Her Dad had not been here at all during her recovery so far, although both Mum and Nan told her he had been here at the beginning. A bit like the rest of her life, really! She thought he had changed when she came back for R&R and her Mum had told her he'd been supporting her a lot recently.

"Mols?" She'd never heard her father sound like that. His voice was low, emotional. It sounded almost broken.

"Dad?" she asked.

"Oh Molly, thank God. I thought I'd never speak to you again. I'm sorry I've been so crap. I came the first time with your mum but I just couldn't face seein' you like that. I'm sorry I 'aven't been there for you. Not just now, but…you know…" He trailed off and she couldn't believe her ears. This was only the second time in her entire life when her Dad had ever admitted he was shit, and the first time had been during her R&R when she told him that if he supported Mum it would help him too. She became conscious of the tears rolling down her face but was oblivious of the look of concern between Charles and her Nan, until his other hand squeezed her left shoulder supportively.

She wished she could have kissed him at that point. He hadn't interfered. He had just let her know he was there to support her if she needed him. Him being there gave her the strength. She couldn't tell her father that it was OK, because it just wasn't. He needed to do a lot more work before she would forgive him but the raw emotion in his voice made her want to give him a chance. She told him, "I understand Dad, and hopefully we can 'ave a good old natter when I see you."

He replied, "I'd like that Mols. Your Mum's signalling me that I need to hang up now. Keep getting better Mols…I love you." She was speechless. Her Dad had never said that to her. Not once that she could remember. She told him, "Bye Dad."

Charles looked at her questioningly and after a nod and a small smile he replaced the receiver on the wall. Then he snagged the box of tissues from the bedside table and handed it to her. She tried, but her hand and arm were so tired that she couldn't get a tissue out of the box. Seeing her problems he took one out and then gently, tenderly dabbed the tears from her eyes and her cheeks. She leaned into the contact, but he took the tissue away and she huffed her disappointment, but was forced into a sound of approval as he gathered her into a gentle hug.

He held her until she told him, "Thank you Boss. That was just what I needed."

He pulled back and smiled at her, "Glad to be of service, Dawesy! All support provided, but hugs a speciality!"

Her Nan piped up, "I can agree with that Mols, he's a good hugger."

She had forgotten her Nan was there until she spoke but speaking made her remember Charles' embarrassment and then glaring at her. "What did Mum say to you Boss and why were you glaring at Nan?"

"Yes, do tell Charlie? What's got you in such a tizzy?" Nan asked cheekily.

The Boss smiled dangerously at her Nan and turned to her, "Nothing too major except that if you didn't want to go out with me, your Grandmother and your Mother called first dibs on me!"

"Nan!" once again she was scandalised, but Charlie turned to her and smiled, "But luckily you saved me from a fate worse than death Molly!"

- OG - OG - OG - OG -

Charles James paused outside the Queen Elizabeth Hospital. It was Tuesday afternoon and it had been quite a day and a half. Last night was Molly's first full night alone in the hospital and he had had to leave her alone at night for the first time in what felt like ages, but was actually little more than a week, to spend the night at the Barracks. Her grandmother had arranged to stay with Candy's friend for that night since he wouldn't get access to the house he was renting until Tuesday.

He had expected it to be hard to persuade Marge to stay with him but she hadn't produced more than token resistance in the end, except to insist that she helped with the cooking, cleaning and housekeeping to pay her way. He was quite happy to accede to that request although he hoped to dust off some of his favourite recipes and do some cooking, which he really enjoyed. He figured that once Molly went back onto normal foods she might gonna want them to take some food in rather than depending on the hospital fare! He reckoned Marge understood that it was basically a choice between staying with him or not being here for her granddaughter – it was an easy choice under the circumstances.

He had been a bit worried about leaving Molly on her own, although this was offset to some extent by the opportunity to sleep in an honest to God bed for the first time since he got back to the UK. He had not slept right through. The nightmares had started again a few days ago, but were low level so far, and he had managed to get seven hours of sleep, which was better than he had been averaging staying with Molly. He had arranged to call Marge in Molly's room first thing in the morning to check that Molly was OK and Marge confirmed she was. Molly, when she was put on, complained about not getting her "Good morning kiss" but apart from that confirmed she had had a good night.

That worry out of the way he had been able to get on with the preparations for the parade. He was surprised to receive a deputation from Two Section with an odd request which he was prepared to accede to providing Major Beck approved, which he did, when the reason behind it was explained. He couldn't help but smile sadly when the men left. The capacity of soldiers to support their comrades still surprised him, even after all this time.

The parade had gone well, and the men were delighted to receive their campaign ribbons from the visiting General, and to celebrate with their families. There were two extra ribbons, one with the silver oak leaf that denoted a Mention in Dispatches, and he was entrusted to deliver both of those to their intended recipients, which he was looking forward to doing.

The boys had got off OK a little later, but not before Dangles and Brains had delivered to him a very special USB stick which he had saved down to his laptop. He had asked them if they wanted him to wait until one of them could be present to deliver it, but they had told him they'd said all they wanted and that he was better at presentations anyway. Smiling, he had thanked them, shook their hands, wished them a good trip and told them he looked forward to seeing them soon, which shouldn't be an issue since Dangles was due tomorrow and Brains at the weekend.

He had finished packing his stuff, made one last trip to inform Major Beck that he was leaving, exchanged contact details in case anything came up while he was on leave, and then had departed. He had decided to wear uniform today since he was delivering cargo in an official capacity. Although he supposed technically he could change at the flat, there didn't seem much point in changing now only to have to change again later.

As he completed the taxi journey he was delighted that he wouldn't need to see the M40 again for a while. He'd had his fill of it for the time being! He met the letting agent outside the house and took the keys, signed the inventory (without checking it, which he hoped didn't come back to haunt him) and dropped his stuff in the room he had chosen. Then he set out for the hospital, carrying his laptop in his rucksack. He picked up a potted plant from a stall outside the hospital to brighten up Molly's room.

As he paused outside the hospital, he took a deep breath. He was now on leave. Tour four had ended but his responsibilities hadn't, although they were now mostly personal rather than professional in nature. It was now time to get on with his life.

Smiling to himself he headed to ICU. He would see Smurf and Candy first.

Candy greeted him happily. Smurf was still sleeping off his exploratory procedure, but the news was good. The surgeons were 90% certain that the lump wasn't cancerous, which should mean that they would be able to extract it easily. He had been hoping that Smurf would be awake but, since he wasn't, he passed his campaign medal onto Candy. He had already decided that he would do it properly, so he had drawn himself to attention, saluted her and told her that he was here to deliver Private Dylan Smith's Afghanistan Campaign ribbon and he would leave it in her safekeeping. Realising that this was an important moment and a major milestone for her son she had promised that she would look after it and give it to him when he was ready. She had then formally thanked him, bid him farewell saying she was sure he wanted to see Molly, and asked whether dinner was on, which he had confirmed, saying he looked forward to seeing her.

Now he was approaching Molly's room. It was 17.30 and evening rounds had just been completed, so hopefully they wouldn't be disturbed for a while. Knocking on the door he gave them his usual greeting, "Evening ladies." Pausing to place his rucksack on the floor, hug Marge and then head round and hug Molly. She looked less tired this evening, which was good since it was sure to be an emotional couple of hours.

As he stepped back she asked, "How did the parade go Bossman?" to which he replied, "Pretty good Dawesy, but we've got a bit of official business to do before we get into that."

"I wondered why you was all togged up Charlie." Marge told him, "very official you look an' all."

He smiled at her, "Now don't do anything stupid Dawesy, like trying to sit to attention or anything like that. Stay at ease." She smiled at him, wondering what was going on. He braced to attention and drew her medal from his pocket, "Private Molly Dawes, it is my pleasure to present you with this Afghanistan Campaign ribbon to commemorate your tour of duty in Afghanistan. It is also my pleasure to tell you that for your actions on 9-11 January 2014, namely the development of vital intelligence that led to the destruction of a Taliban cell and your actions in keeping a wounded Taliban alive for subsequent interrogation, that you have been Mentioned in Dispatches, and that you are therefore entitled to wear the silver oak leaf on your campaign ribbon." Smiling at her, he handed her the blue and red medal, already festooned with the silver oak leaf on the ribbon.

She was speechless. Why, he didn't understand because Major Beck had clearly told her that he was putting her in for a MiD. He gently placed the ribbon into her left hand, making sure she had a tight enough grip on it and she brought it up to look at it. Marge had frozen next to him; clearly Molly hadn't told her family about the potential for a MiD. He wanted to warn her not to get too carried away now because there were going to be plenty more awards to come but, mindful of Major Beck's warning, he decided not to say anything. Seeing Molly didn't know what to do with her ribbon, he held out his hand for it and she gave it to him back, and then he turned to Marge and gave it to Marge. "Seeing your reaction, I would guess that your granddaughter didn't bother to mention her award?"

Marge looked from him to the ribbon now held almost reverently in her hand, obviously gobsmacked, so he took pity on her and explained what a MiD was, and in skeleton terms what Molly had done to be awarded one. They both turned round to face Molly, and saw that she was blushing.

Marge gave her a big hug and told her how proud she was of her, to which Molly muttered that she was "only doing her job" while shooting a glare at Charles over her grandmother's shoulder.

"Why are you glaring at me Dawesy?" he asked, "I just told it like it was. If you weren't such an over-achiever it wouldn't be a problem would it!" Molly harrumphed.

- OG - OG - OG - OG -

He had given her 15 minutes to get over her annoyance with him and then moved onto his second presentation of the evening. They had been talking about nothing of consequence when, out of the blue he had told her he had something for her to see.

She looked at him curiously as he pulled the bedside table round in front of her, cleared the stuff off it and put the laptop on top of it. Then he opened it up and switched it on and clicked on an icon. He pumped the volume up to full and went to stand by her side and motioned Marge to come around to the other side.

The screen blanked, and then brightened to show all of the remaining members of Two Section sitting and standing around a bed in what was obviously a Barracks single room. They were all looking seriously at the camera, even – shock-horror – Mansfield!

Brains began, "Hi Mols, we were really pleased when the Boss told us you were alright. It's our homecoming parade today and we're really sorry you can't be here with us."

Mansfield was next, "You've been such a great mate to us and a real elder sister and we wanted you to be here with us today."

Fingers: "So we were thinking about it down the pub, as you do, and we suddenly thought – she CAN be with us, if we video it."

Nude Nut: "Dangles sister makes wedding videos and he's done some work for her, so here we go!"

Charles sneaked a glance at Molly to see her sitting in the bed transfixed, with tears pouring down her face. He paused the video and turned to look at her. "You know this was all their idea Mols. They really do think of you as a sister, and they were gutted when they realised you couldn't be there with them. Kind of kicks your idea about them not caring about you that much into touch, doesn't it Dawesy?!"

He grabbed the box of tissues off the table and pulled one out for her, then he looked at Marge, she also had tears in her eyes, so he handed her one too. "Who'd have thought it, eh? The fearsome Dawes women, blubbing like babies. If only I had a camera!"

Marge glared at him, "Don't you dare Charlie, I've got a reputation to uphold!"

"Hmm, better take a few Marge," he observed cheekily, passing over a few more tissues, "And I'll leave the rest on the bed for the blubber monster here."

Molly was slowly recovering and peered up at him wetly, "You better watch out Bossman, or you'll be well and truly busted."

"Ooh Dawesy, I'm soo scared. I think I'll take my chances," he told her, "ready to start again?"

Receiving nods, he pressed play again, and the video restarted to show Dangles and Fingers sitting on a bed polishing their boots. The camera work was shaky and looked like it had been filmed on a phone (which it probably had) by a non-professional (which it certainly had) but was all the more endearing for it.

The video followed the members of Two Section as they got themselves ready for the parade, cleaning their kit and preparing themselves, all the sarcastic comments and all the banter between them, and it showed Kinders inspecting the boys before the parade and then Charles himself performing the final inspection. The camera/phone was passed around different people so that everyone in the section, and several from the platoon, were included. Some spoke to the camera, giving a running commentary, or a personal message (often wishing Molly the best for her recovery), while others just ignored it and got on with what they were doing.

Then the screen faded to black, and Molly took a deep breath, trying to control her sniffling. Charles didn't move, knowing it wasn't the end, but sneaked a quick glance at the girls to see if he needed to pause it again. Molly was sniffling quietly, but the real surprise was Marge who he could see was really touched and she was surreptitiously dabbing her eyes as she not only got an insight into a world that outsiders rarely saw, but also saw how much her fellow squaddies really cared for Molly. Even for him it was chastening; for her it must be really emotional.

Then the screen brightened again and the camera re-focused. It swept around showing the parade ground, really setting the scene, showing the surroundings and all the families waiting. This time it was clear that the camera was being handled by a professional. Molly picked up on it as well and looked at Charles questioningly, "Dangles' sister filmed this bit," he told her.

Then the platoon marched in with Charles in the lead, followed by each section lined up in their ranks. Their drill was pretty good, considering they had not had the chance to do more practice, but he waited to see if Molly noticed. The camera focused on each rank in turn as they marched past, lingering over the gap in the centre of the right hand file of the formation. A swift intake of breath from Molly suggested she had noticed, and Marge looked at her questioningly. He explained on Molly's behalf, "Molly's just noticed that her section have left a gap for her in the parade as a sign of respect," turning to Molly he told her, "Major Beck agreed to it and he also authorised the filming." He paused the video to allow Molly to get hold of herself. The tears were pouring out of her at this evidence of the respect and admiration of her comrades. He leaned over and hugged her, and she held onto him with her left hand like a drowning woman. "I don't deserve this," she moaned, "They shouldn'ta done it,"

He smiled into her hair, having expected a reaction like this, "Your comrades disagree Molly. In fact I would go so far as to say they strongly disagree. Even if you don't think you rate it, they clearly do. They intended this as a gesture of respect Molly, as a gesture of admiration, and to show you that they value you as a member of their unit, their family. I know you don't believe in yourself, Molly Dawes, but we all do - your section, me and even Major Beck. It's time you started believing in yourself."

She just sniffled more and held onto him tighter. He was quite surprised when Marge's voice came from the side of the bed, "He's right Mols, you need to believe in yourself, cos the message is clear. They all believe in you, and we do too. This 'as gone far enough, young lady. Now pull yerself together cos I wanta see the rest of the video."

This harsh love seemed to work and Molly slowly pulled herself together. Charles filed that away for later consideration. He pulled back and pulled out several tissues for her to dab her eyes and nose. At this rate they would need a new box!

Luckily there weren't too many fireworks in the rest of the film, the parade, inspection and medal presentation went off just as he remembered it and then they filmed the celebration drinks and introduced all of the various family members of the section that were there (which he thought was a nice touch but the boys said that she would have met them if she had been there). Then at the end the video cut to a shot of the section and some of the other squaddies from the platoon standing together in civilian clothes, obviously about to go on leave. They all shouted "Get well soon, Dawesy" and it froze on them then faded to black.

"Wow." Said Marge. Wow indeed, he thought. He looked at Molly, who once again had tears streaming down her face. He didn't begrudge her this because he had been quite emotional as well when he first watched the video in the taxi on the way here. He silently handed over the last few tissues and she smiled at him gratefully, silently acknowledging her weakness.

"Well, there you go Dawesy, what did you think?" he asked, knowing the response; it was obvious from her reaction.

"I don't know what to say Boss," she told him, "I-… how do I even thank them?"

He smiled at her, "Well you can start with Dangles – he's coming to see you tomorrow, and Fingers on Thursday, Kinders on Friday and Brains Saturday. At this stage it looks like Mansfield's coming on Sunday and Nude Nut on Monday with Bas on Tuesday. I don't know beyond that, but it's probably enough to be going on with don't you think?" he observed, enjoying her goggle-eyed expression.

"Jesus, Dawesy, don't tell me I'm going to have to ask for more tissues?" he teased, as she stuttered, "But-, But-"

"Oh, I guess you're about to ask why they're coming to see you when they could be with their families?" he asked her, glowering at her, "Well, if it wasn't obvious already Molly, I'll spell it out in words of one syllable. _They think of you as family._ Is that clear enough for you? I'd say the same thing, but I'm not into incest!" he concluded, smiling at Marge's sputter of laughter.

- OG - OG - OG - OG -

_What a day it had been_, thought Molly Dawes later that night. It had been difficult for her that morning, knowing that the boys and Charlie had their homecoming parade and that she wasn't there. Also, it was the first morning that Charlie hadn't been there when she woke up and that was a bit of a wrench for her; she had come to rely on seeing him when she woke up, and had enjoyed the contact of his goodbye kiss or hug. Her Nan had done her best to keep her occupied but her mind kept drifting to the fact that after this parade her section would split up to the four corners of the country and then she'd never see them together again.

She had counted down the minutes until he had arrived that afternoon, and had been a bit worried that he had been late. She was surprised that he was still wearing his uniform as well but his reason became clear when he had formally presented her with her campaign medal. She had been touched that he had done it that way; it had made her feel properly involved, and it had turned out that the reason he had been late was that he had visited Candy to present Smurf's medal beforehand. She thought it was really sweet of him to do that.

But then he had brought out the video. She wasn't sure how to feel about the video. On the one hand she was massively touched; that her bunch of schoolboys would have the emotional range to figure out something like that tickled her totally pink. That they would do that _for her_ was enormously touching. But on the other hand she was hugely embarrassed. Who did they think she was? She wasn't any sort of hero. She didn't deserve anything like this. She was just doing her job. What any of them would have done. Why had they done it?

And then when the Bossman had told her that they were all coming to visit, that they would give up time with their families and friends after six long months, she had been totally overcome. Why? How could they do that? Why would they do that for her? She still didn't understand. She could understand her family, her Nan, her Mum doing it. It was a stretch to understand all the time Charles had spent with her, particularly bearing in mind he had a young son, but she could sort of understand it, bearing in mind what a great and honourable person he was, even though none of her other boyfriends would be seen dead giving her that amount of care and, let's face it, love. But she couldn't understand why the boys would. She wasn't anyone special. She was just plain Molly Dawes.

Oh well, she supposed she shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth. She'd certainly missed them, even if they were a bunch of fuckmuppets sometimes. She missed their banter and she missed the feeling of being part of something that she got when she was with them. And truthfully, she missed treating the Bossman's blisters, even if they were better and they both knew he only came to the med tent to spend time with her, and she missed taking the piss out of Fingers about his football team's abysmal season and out of Mansfield about his latest screw up, and out of Dangles about Benefits Street and out of Brains about how he should have been an officer with all those A levels!

She really loved the boys and she was sorry that she'd have to leave them, but Charles was right, she probably would have been re-assigned anyway, and he had reassured her that as close as the section was, they'd almost certainly stay in touch. And she'd see them around. She had hoped so, because after a rocky start, she definitely thought of them as family, and it now seemed they felt that way about her as well. It wasn't that her family wasn't mental enough already…

- OG - OG - OG - OG -

Charles James reflected on a much better week. It was Sunday and he had spent the day in Bath once again, catching up with his parents and Sam, and letting Mansfield Mike and Marge amuse Molly, God help them all.

Living with Marge was fun and they were getting to know each other well with all the time spent together in the evenings and with Molly at the hospital. She was as good as her word and was keeping their flat spotlessly clean and doing a large amount of the ironing. They were sharing the cooking. She had been flabbergasted when he'd first offered to cook on Thursday evening, but when she'd tasted the chicken, apricot and rosemary tagine she'd told him he could cook every night if he wanted! He'd wanted to bring some for Molly as well but she wasn't quite onto such advanced foods yet, so he'd resolved to wait out for another week or so.

Nevertheless when Marge had told Molly about the dinner he'd cooked the previous night, unfortunately during Kinders' visit, much piss taking had ensued. He had unexpectedly been bailed out by Marge who had pronounced his cooking the "dog's bollocks" which surprised both Molly _and_ Kinders.

The boys from Two Section had been religious about their visits, and each had spent between three and four hours with Molly. Dangles had been first and had knocked on the door to Molly's room at 13.00 on Wednesday afternoon with a bunch of flowers. He had clearly been a bit upset at how Molly looked and the fact that she was still bed-bound, although he had recovered quickly. Nevertheless he had told her, tongue firmly in cheek, that he was pleased to see her looking much better than the last time he saw her. She had taken the joke in the spirit in which it was offered and told him he looked a lot better as well! They had introduced him to Marge and then the four of them had happily chatted away about anything and everything for the next three hours. At the end Dangles insisted on taking a selfie to send to the others and he had promised to visit Molly again next week, telling her to stop being such a prat when she told him he didn't need to. He had assured her he wanted to, given her a quick hug, kissed Marge, been a bit surprised to be presented with Charles' hand to shake but taken it after only a slight hesitation, and left.

Molly had been significantly brighter afterwards and also had enjoyed seeing Fingers, Kinders and especially Brains, who she had a really close relationship with. They had all been initially more natural with her and he suspected that Dangles had briefed them as well as sending the selfie. On Saturday Charles had provided Brains and Marge with lunch (chicken and pistachio curry and rice) so that they didn't have to force themselves to eat the foul hospital food. Brains had told him he'd come back every day if this was on offer. Molly had looked jealous until he'd promised her she could have some next time he cooked it (he had checked with her doctors and they told him she could probably start on normal food next week).

Molly had passed on today that Mansfield was sad that the Bossman wasn't cooking lunch, so obviously news had got around. Marge had also told him that she was sad he wasn't cooking lunch too!

He had enjoyed his day out, and his mother had confirmed that she would come to visit on Tuesday and Wednesday this week, which he was looking forward to. He was interested to see how his mum and Marge got on, but he thought it would be OK since he was sure that there would be goodwill on both sides. He had told Molly and while she was interested to meet his Mum she had initially been a bit upset. When he asked why, she said that she had envisioned a different way to meet her boyfriend's mother! He was surprised but he had told her that it should be easier this way since there was absolutely zero pressure on her to impress!

* * *

><p><strong>AN 1 For those that picked up the similarities in the words, ****_Taliban_**** simply means students in the local dialect, Pash'to.**

**A/N 2 I have used the dates for Molly's Mention in Dispatches from ****_Captain's Log_****. Mention in Dispatches (Despatches) is a level 4 gallantry award but is the oldest military award for gallantry. Soldiers who are mentioned in despatches receive a certificate and are entitled to wear a silver oak leaf (from 1920–1994, it was bronze) on the ribbon of the service medal issued to soldiers who served in a conflict (ie in this case on her Afghanistan Campaign Medal). If no campaign medal is awarded, the oak leaf is worn on the left breast of dress uniform. Soldiers can be mentioned multiple times but, other than receiving a certificate for each mention, they wear no visible sign of repeat awards on a single ribbon. Additional awards of MIDs on other campaigns are worn on the relevant campaign ribbon. ****_Source: Wikipedia_****. I don't know if it was another continuity error but the silver oak leaf was ****_not_**** present on Molly's campaign medal as worn in the series…**

**A/N 3 Unfortunately my mother has been taken very ill so it looks unlikely that I'll be able to do too much writing in the near future. I thought I would post this now since it is written but I have not started the next chapter****_. _****I will return to RNT when I am able but at this stage I have no idea when that will be.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I don't own Our Girl. Everything you recognise was created by Tony Grounds and is owned by the BBC.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 8<strong>

Charles James would admit to being ever so slightly nervous as he stood on the platform at Birmingham New Street station waiting for his mother's train to arrive. In fact, nervous was probably an understatement – he was terrified!

There was so much that could go wrong with this meeting. In his heart he hoped that his mother and Marge and his mother and Molly would get on, but you never knew. He knew that there was goodwill on both sides, but they were all from such different backgrounds. He knew that the Dawes were good people and he hoped that his mother, as a psychologist would be able to see that, and he knew that his mother was a good person and he hoped that Molly and Marge would be able to see _that_. If he was honest with himself then he knew that any issues were like to come from Molly's side because of her low self-esteem.

He knew that class issues were not something that even came onto his parents' radars. From his parents' point of view it didn't matter where and how someone had been born and brought up, it was their actions, morals and behaviour that mattered. They had been equally as receptive to his friend Willy from university (who had grown up on a council estate) as they had been to his friend George who was just as middle class as them.

But he was concerned that class issues may be on Molly's and Marge's radars. He had overheard some of Molly's comments about toffs and Ruperts when she was talking with the men at the FOB and he knew she had a not particularly realistic or positive view of people with his upbringing. He was sure that she would make an effort, but as soon as his mother opened her mouth it would be totally clear that she (and by extension he) were squarely middle class. While it was possible to dodge that as an issue on tour it would be less easy to dodge as an issue in real life. He could only hope that Molly, and to a lesser extent Marge, could see them for the people they were, rather than the upbringing they represented.

- OG - OG - OG - OG -

Charles was beyond nervous as he walked into the Queen Elizabeth Hospital with his mother later that afternoon. This was it. This was the crucial meeting. His mother had been quite emotional when he had greeted her on the platform and they had held onto each other for what felt like ages. He had accompanied her back to their rented house and let her get her stuff unpacked and settled. He had done his best to make sure that the room that she was to stay in was as clean as possible and that she had clean towels etc.

She had finally come downstairs at about 15.00 and he could see that she was just as nervous as he was. They had made small talk for a few moments and then he had suggested that they left for the hospital. Noticing his increasing nervousness, his mother had stopped him for a pep talk just outside the hospital entrance, "Don't worry Charlie," she'd told him, holding his upper arms "I'm sure it will be fine."

He had smiled at her, "I'm just nervous Mum. Molly's become very important to me, and Marge has too. I just want everyone to like each other."

His mother had smiled back at him, "And I'm sure that's what all of us want as well Charlie." Then she had squeezed his arms reassuringly and they had continued inside the hospital.

Charles paused outside Molly's room. Baz had been here to visit Molly today, but the plan was that he left just after lunch to give Molly a chance to rest. She had had a tough physio session this morning; he felt that she had pushed herself particularly hard because of her own nervousness about this meeting, but it was good because her physio, Noora, had told her that she was making reasonable progress. He took a deep breath, then knocked on the half open door and, without waiting for a reply, entered the room.

Molly was lying on the bed, propped up a little higher than normal. Her right arm was now unbound and lay by her side with her left one in her lap holding her mobile. That had been yesterday's excitement – when the doctors had told her that she could start using her right arm again, although her movement was still restricted. She was wearing a clean hospital gown and covered by a white blanket. She gave him her usual bright smile as he entered, but he could tell she was nervous as well. Marge was sitting at her side reading a magazine and she stood up as he entered, already holding her arms out for her hug (they had a running joke between them that Marge was a bit of a hug demon). He shared a smile with Molly before crossing towards her with his mother following behind.

"Bout time you was 'ere, Charlie!" she told him, hugging him briefly, then disengaging and, turning to his mother, she told her, "And you must be 'is mother. Good to meet yer. I'm Marge, Molly's grandmother, and I think we're gonna be flatmates!"

Charles had carried on around the bed as usual to hug Molly, as his mother crossed to Marge and shook her hand, quietly introducing herself. As Molly leant forward he gently wrapped his arms around her, kissing her on her left cheek, before pulling back. Still holding Molly's shoulder he turned to his mother and Marge and told them, "Mum, I think you've already met Marge, but this is Molly. Molly and Marge – my mother Celia."

His mother had smiled nervously, and then looked directly at Molly and told her, "Molly I'm so pleased to meet you. Charles has told me so much about you… what?!" she asked querulously, glaring at him, having noticed his grin. "It's all right Mum, you don't have to be on best behaviour here!" he told her, "they both insist on calling me that name as well!"

"Oh." She exclaimed, and he could see the surprise in her face since she knew how much he detested being called Charlie normally. "Well," she started collecting herself, before grinning at Molly and Marge, "I can see we are all women of taste!"

"Or something," he muttered.

"Watch it Charlie!" Marge told him, "it looks like you're outnumbered!"

"Story of my life, Marge." He told her more loudly but that exchange was enough to well and truly break the ice and he pulled some more chairs around the bed so that they could all sit and talk comfortably.

They talked for a few hours and Charles was delighted to see that his earlier fears seemed to have been unfounded. His mother and Marge seemed to get on like a house on fire and were rapidly forming a great partnership for taking the piss out of him. Molly was, understandably, a bit more unsure but still seemed to be relatively at ease and was happily engaging in some of the conversation, and most of the piss taking.

Just before 18.30 he looked at his watch and caught his mother's eye. She nodded and, as per their earlier plan, he started making his excuses and left them there to go and cook dinner. Not before stopping for his regular good night hug and kiss from Molly though. He wasn't doing without that!

Marge and his mother wandered into the house just after 20.15, right on time, and he was just dumping the basil into the tagine and taking the couscous out of the oven. This time he'd cooked a lot more than they'd need for dinner, conscious as he was of his promise to Molly that next time he'd save some for her. They both made appreciative noises about the smell and, as Marge went upstairs to freshen up, he looked inquisitively at his mother.

She stood at the bottom of the stairs and smiled at him, "I'd forgotten what a good cook you were Charlie. I still remember when we used to bake cakes together in the kitchen. Those were some of the best times of my life. Then you went off to university and came back cooking proper dishes. I remember when you first cooked for your father and I. You were so nervous, but it was lovely.

"Molly and Marge have been telling me all about you and what you've done." She paused, and he was surprised to see tears in her eyes. He crossed over to comfort her, "I just wanted to say that I'm very proud of the man you've become. It looks like young Molly is a very lucky girl." She gently kissed him on the cheek and went upstairs herself.

He stood at the bottom of the stairs for a second, rather surprised. He had only wanted to know whether his mother liked Molly and Marge. He supposed he had his answer. It seemed his mother approved. He was rather touched by her words though. He had a good relationship with his parents but a particularly close one with his mother. His father had been away a lot at work when he was young and he'd spent a lot of time with his mother. She'd introduced him to a lot of her hobbies; cooking, gardening, art and literature, and some of them, like cooking and poetry, had become interests of his as well. Although she could keep the gardening!

- OG - OG - OG - OG -

Dinner had gone well and they had had some wide-ranging conversations, still getting to know one another. One of the most interesting had been about their childhoods. Marge had talked about growing up in the East End in the 1950s and about how difficult it had been what with the damage to services and destruction of whole communities caused by the War, as well as the gradual closure of the industries like dockyards that had supported the East End.

He had been interested to find out that his parents and Marge were of a similar generation; his mother was only about 5 years younger than her, and his father was of a similar age. Celia and Marge had talked about growing up in the 60s and about how different their lives had been. Celia had compared her childhood in a village in the Home Counties with Marge's recollections of her upbringing in the city and then they talked about their 20s with Celia successfully convincing her parents to allow her to go to university and Marge working as assistant to a property developer.

They had talked about his childhood too. About how difficult it was for him and his mother moving around the world for his father's role in the Diplomatic Service and effectively having no roots, and particularly about how tough it was to make friends in each different place and keep in touch with those friends once you moved on, and had little in common with them. They had compared that with the strong community spirit of the East End that Molly had grown up with. But then Marge had told them that it wasn't necessarily all sweetness and light and about how upset Molly had been that her old friends from the East End hadn't been prepared to accept the change in her once she had decided to join the Army.

His mother had told them about his parents' decision to send him to boarding school at 13 to help give him a centre, and about how tough it had been for her without him to keep her company at home. He had noted that it hadn't been too much fun for him to start off with either, but he had grown to enjoy being there and had managed to get on well with everybody without making any lasting friendships. It had helped that he was good at sports and easy to get along with. But it was at school where he'd first been introduced to the army with CCF, or Combined Cadet Force as he'd explained to Marge, which provided kids the opportunity to play soldier once a week and go on adventure training and night exercises. He'd loved it and it was at that point that he'd decided that he might want to pursue an army career. University had been where he had really come into his own and he had made great friends and laboured away at his Literature degree while acknowledging that he already knew what he wanted to do with his life.

Just before they all turned in for the night his mother had told him that he would be on his own at the hospital in the morning because she and Marge were going into town to get some clothes for Molly. Now that she was becoming a bit more mobile she wouldn't want to be wandering around in a hospital gown and she needed something loose to move around in and she didn't want Two Section and the other male patients gawping at her pyjamas! His mother and Marge would be back by about 11am and then she would pack up her stuff and they'd come to the hospital together and all have lunch before she needed to catch her train at about 3.30pm. Charles was quite pleased by this development because he thought he might have been the one tasked with the clothes shopping and had been dreading it. He should have known that his mother would volunteer. She was always up for any shopping after all! It would also be nice to spend some time on his own with Molly.

- OG - OG - OG - OG -

The next morning Charles paused outside Molly's room with some trepidation. Although things appeared to have gone well yesterday, he was conscious of the fact that he hadn't been able to talk to Molly about how it had gone and that fact had gnawed at him overnight so by now he was in quite a state. A reassuring voice in his mind was telling him that if Molly had let his mother go shopping for her then she must have trusted her to some extent and that Marge had seemed to get on well with her, and that should be a bellwether to Molly's feelings. But he was still worried.

Oh well. Standing out here wasn't going to get him any answers. He knocked, pushed open the door and entered to find Molly sitting up in bed and grinning at him happily.

"Morning Dawesy," he greeted her.

"Bossman," she acknowledged, leaning a little forward as he reached the bed, to allow him to hug her. That, in itself, was quite a sign of improvement because, as he well knew from having his appendix out when he was younger, that movement used quite a number of abdominal muscles.

"Good progress, Mols," he told her, adding, "are you OK?" as he hugged her gently and then kissed her on the lips.

"I've been workin' on that movement with Noora," she told him grimacing, "but it's a bit tragic when you get excited about bein' able to lean forward a few millimetres!"

He gently caressed her cheek and pushed her hair out of her face, savouring the feel of her skin on his hand, "Baby steps Mols," he told her, leaning forward to kiss her cheek, "You don't want to push it at the beginning. Once you've healed a bit more then we can go harder with the physio, but it's only been just over three weeks."

She reached up to clasp his hand against her cheek and his heart went out to her as he saw the look of abject frustration, as well as a little uncertainty and fear, on her face. "I 'ate this," she told him, "It's not me. Lying in a bed. Bein' a wimp."

"You are NOT being a wimp, Molly Dawes. You were shot three times." He stared into her beautiful green eyes, willing her to believe what he was telling her, "It takes time to get better. I think you're being fantastic about it actually Mols. And I know the others do as well. I spoke to Noora yesterday and she's delighted by your progress. You're ahead of where you should be for someone with your injuries you know?" he smiled at her sadly and moved in for another hug, enjoying their closeness as she held him tight. Having spoken to Noora Singh and Dr Matthews he had known that this stage would come. They had both cautioned that she would have a fall-out of confidence as the reality set in about the length of time her recovery would take. They had cautioned that as she started to feel better, and before she could move, she would find it difficult to cope and it was very important that she had as much support as possible during that stage. In fact he had been thinking about a surprise for her and, given this conversation, thought he should mention it to Marge at some point.

"Anyway Mols," he told her, pulling back and seeking to bring a bit of levity back and try and pull her out of her depressed state, "Wimps don't get to enjoy my patented chicken and apricot tagine for lunch, so you can't be one!"

"I can 'ave some?" she asked, looking at him hopefully.

"Yep, I checked with the doctors and we have approval! Your Grandmother and my Mum are bringing it round when they get back from shopping. We should even be able to have it hot!" He knew that one of the things that had really been getting her down was not being able to have proper food but the doctors had confirmed that she should be OK now. The temporary colostomy bag was still there and probably would be for another few weeks while her intestines fully healed, but they now felt she was well enough to eat normally. He knew she had been really depressed about missing out.

"I understand it's going to be tough for you Dawesy." He told her, winking at her as she looked at him questioningly, "Well, when you're not enjoying my Gordon Ramsay-esque cooking you'll need to put up with hospital food, but I'm sure you'll cope. I mean, maybe it's karma since your grandmother and I had to suffer hospital food for the first few weeks you were here. Payback's a bitch isn't it Dawesy!"

She snorted, trying not to laugh at him, "I bet it's all bollocks Boss. I bet you can't cook at all and you just buy it from some restaurant or other!"

"Private Dawes!" he exclaimed, clutching his heart as though mortally wounded, "I am devastated that you could think that I, a commissioned officer in good standing in Her Majesty's Army, would stoop to such a level. And on top of that how you could possibly doubt your boyfriend in such as way? I am hurt!"

"Boss…!" she gurgled, sniggering, "I told you not to make me laugh – it 'urts!"

He harrumphed, "Serves you right Dawesy, serves you right!"

Deciding to change the subject, he asked, "So, what did you think of my Mum?" He was pleased to hear a positive response and they talked for a long time with him passing on a little of what was talked about at dinner the previous night and her telling him what had been talked about after he'd left last night and filling him on Baz's latest news. They only stopped when it was time for her physio.

- OG - OG - OG - OG -

Charles was sitting outside Molly's room when her physio, Noora Singh, sat down next to him. Molly was just starting her bed bath after quite a heavy physio session earlier today.

"Captain James?" she asked, "Could I have a quick word?"

"Of course, Ms Singh," he replied, "actually, since we're likely to be seeing a lot of each other over the next few weeks, I thought it would probably be easier if you called me Charles."

She favoured him with a smile, which surprised him because normally she was quite stern, "Oh good. Then you should definitely call me Noora, like Molly does. At least that's one of the things she calls me – I don't think the others are quite so complimentary!"

He smiled back understandingly, "I'm sure you get that a lot with your job! Particularly with Army patients – their language can be a bit coarse sometimes!"

She returned his smile, "Actually you'd be surprised Capt- sorry, _Charles_. The Armed Services patients are normally extremely respectful. It's the civilians who generally have potty mouths!" They both grinned, "Anyway, I wanted to talk to you about Molly. Thanks for telling me about her disappointment with the speed of her recovery. We had a chat about that and I re-iterated to her that she was making excellent progress. As we discussed, this is a difficult stage, but once she's up and about it should be easier for her.

"Now, the reason I wanted to talk to you is that she's told me she's very keen to be up and about by 10th May. Apparently it's your birthday?" She asked, looking at him sternly.

He was surprised that Molly had remembered, and rather touched, "Yes, I had told Molly that the best birthday present I could have would be to go for a walk in the country with her. But I didn't mean _on_ my actual birthday. I would have thought that's a bit unlikely isn't it?"

She smiled in a relieved way, "I'm pleased you said that. Yes, it's not going to happen. But there's no reason you shouldn't be able to take her for a walk around the ward on your birthday if you would like." She grinned at his excited reaction, then added firmly, "But you will both need to do a lot of work. I only have one session a day with Molly and she's going to need to do two, maybe three lots of exercises every day, so I wondered whether you'd be prepared to help her do some work in the afternoon and evening as well?"

He was surprised, but excited. He would love the opportunity to actually help Molly's recovery, "Of course, what do I need to do?"

She replied, "Well, if you come in for our session tomorrow I'll talk you both through the exercises that she needs to work on. They'll be tough for her at the beginning but should become easier as she gets more practice." She looked at him sternly, "I just want to emphasise though that it's important that you both do this. You can't go letting her off if she's tired or if she makes puppy dog eyes at you Charles. You need to invoke your Army discipline for this."

"Don't worry. I can do Captain Stern Face if I have to Noora! I've already had to get her into shape once, I'm sure I can do it again, even though I don't have Corporal Kinders to help this time!"

- OG - OG - OG - OG -

As Charles James lay in bed that night he considered that all in all it had been a great few days. Considering all the things that could have gone wrong with his Mum's visit, he had to consider the visit a success. His mother had liked Molly and Marge and both of them had told him that they had enjoyed spending time with her as well. As she bade him farewell on the platform she had told him that she thought that Molly was a lovely young woman and that she looked forward to entertaining her in Bath when the time came, but that he should keep following his heart in the mean time. She had explained that she understood that he needed to be with Molly to help her recover and that she wouldn't expect to see him back home for a while although she was expecting him this Sunday for Sam's birthday and would also like to see him on his birthday, although she could understand if he didn't want to stay overnight. Finally she had repeated her words to him from the previous night, that he would always treasure, and sent him back to the hospital with a hug and a kiss.

He had spent the rest of the evening with Marge and Molly and then, on the way back from the hospital with Marge, he had broached his idea with Marge. She had stopped in the street and turned to look at him.

"Are you sure, Charlie?" she'd asked him, and he had been concerned to see tears welling in her eyes.

He had been worried, "Don't you think she'd enjoy it?" he asked, a little disappointed. He'd really wanted to do something special for her and he thought this was a really good idea.

"No! It's not that - I think she'd love it." Marge replied, assuaging some of his fears, "It's just that…" and she tailed off. Seeing his concerned expression she tried again, "It's just that no-one's ever done somethin' like this for us before. Gone out of their way to 'elp our family. It's just difficult ter believe if you know what I mean Charlie?" He didn't really, but she quickly continued, "But don't ever change Charlie. I know I could get used ter this and I'm sure Mols could as well!"

"So, you think it's a good idea?" he queried, still a little concerned by her reaction.

"Good? It's the best ever! Let's get back and we can call Belinda and sort everythin' out." Belinda was likewise blown away but had agreed to the idea very quickly. After they talked briefly about the logistics of how it would/could work he agreed to look into prices and then they could discuss it later in the week. They all agreed to keep it quiet for now.

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><p><strong>AN 1 Sorry for the long break in this. It's been a tough 4-5 weeks. I can't promise that there won't be further delays with this fic, but I will try and finish it. As I've already noted, the epilogue is written so it's just a case of filling in between where we are now and where we need to get to. **

**A/N 2 This one's a bit of a bridging chapter but bear with me, it does get better. Please R&R!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I don't own Our Girl. Everything you recognise was created by Tony Grounds and is owned by the BBC.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 9<strong>

Charles James was pretty tired. He had been driving for three hours on this leg and the SatNav seemed to reckon he was still about 30 minutes away from his destination. Bloody SatNav! Normally three hours wouldn't be a long drive for him but it was 9pm on Friday night and he had already driven down to London today and was really looking forward to getting back to Birmingham for a little rest. He had certainly enjoyed the drive down more than the drive up. Belinda and Bella (and sometimes Dave) had done their best, but being stuck in a people carrier for three hours with a bunch of rambunctious kids was not ideal.

Nevertheless it was all going to be worth it to see Molly's face when she saw her family follow him into the room tomorrow morning! He thought they had managed to keep their plan quiet. Belinda, Marge, Dave and him had decided to keep the trip to themselves until the absolutely last minute, so none of the younger kids had known about it until today and Bella had only been let in on the secret midweek when she had started talking about going out on Saturday night. Apparently she had changed her plans pretty quickly when she had discovered what was in store for the weekend!

The last 10 days since his mum's visit had passed quickly for Charles. Two Section had continued to take it in turns to spend time with Molly, visiting every day almost religiously, and he could tell she was really touched by their willingness to spend time with her. Baz and Smurf (and Marge) were with her today since he had only been able to spend the morning with her because he had been driving all afternoon. He had had to lie to her and tell her that he was going to Bath for the long weekend for his birthday but that he would be back on Sunday to spend some time with her. She had been really disappointed that she wouldn't be able to spend time with him on his birthday, particularly as they had been working very hard on her movement to get her vertical and walking. He was looking forward to surprising her tomorrow.

She had managed to stand upright (on crutches) for the first time on the Friday after his mother left, the day before Sam's birthday actually (he had spent that Sunday with Sam and his parents in Bath), but then had succumbed to massive dizziness and had to sit back down, but the next day she had managed a few steps with him and a nurse, just under a month to the day since she had been injured. She had had to build up her movement a lot slower than she wanted to because she was still in a lot of pain from her abdomen, but she could now manage to walk around in her room using either him or a stick for support, and they had managed to get as far as the nurse's station across from her room yesterday although she had had to sit down for a while before she could get back. He had been so proud of her and had given her an extra big hug and a kiss. The best thing about her being upright was that he was now able to hug her properly, although he was still careful of her injuries.

The other big change at the hospital was Smurf. He had been moved from ICU to the military ward on the day that Charles' mother left and Candy had come in the day after to tell them that the surgeons were hopeful that the operation had been successful. He had still been bed bound for a few days but Charles had visited and found him conscious the next day and they had had a good chat. Smurf couldn't remember much of the day at the bridge, except his breakdown and Molly being shot, but had asked Charles about Molly and himself and he had told him the truth that they had got together, since he thought Smurf deserved to know.

Smurf said that he had already known but had wanted to hear it from Charles. He said that there was no denying that he was angry and disappointed but now he thought about it he didn't know why because Molly had been quite clear for many months that she didn't like him in that way. He had apologised for his actions and told Charles that he had decided to leave the Army after his rehabilitation was complete. Charles had been secretly glad that he had made that decision, but had told Smurf that he was honoured to have served with him.

They had talked a while longer and then Charles had asked whether Smurf would be prepared to visit Molly. She was still bedbound at that point and Smurf had asked, rather sweetly Charles thought, whether Molly was angry with him. Charles had replied (truthfully) that she was very concerned for him and wanted to make sure he was OK. They had received conditional approval from Smurf's consultant and the next day a wheelchair had been provided and Charles and Candy had wheeled Smurf into Molly's room. By mutual assent, they and Marge had left the two to it and had come back 40 minutes later to find them insulting each other happily, but both with dried tear tracks on their faces. Since then Smurf had been a regular visitor to Molly's room, although he was due to be discharged after the weekend, a fact about which Molly was really jealous.

- OG - OG - OG - OG -

They got back to the house in Birmingham pretty late, but Charles had never been happier to arrive anywhere in his life. Marge was at the door and welcomed the kids excitedly. He supposed it had been a long time since she'd seen them, what with being stuck in Birmingham for several weeks. Certainly they were happy to see her as well, but he reckoned they'd be happy to see anyone after being stuck in a car for three and a half hours with only one break at a motorway service station. She was happy to take them in and take care of them while Dave started bringing the luggage in. Belinda came round to see him as he did some stretching exercises to try and get the blood flowing again.

"I just wanted to say thank you again, Charles." She told him quietly. She had already thanked him what felt like hundreds of times. "We wouldn't have been able to afford to bring all the kids up, and they're so dyin' to see her, and it would have been weeks until they did otherwise. Molly said you was the best boyfriend ever, but you really are. But don't go getting' a big 'ead now!" It was amazing, he thought, how women could build you up, only to take you down!

There had been more hassle allocating the costs of the trip than with any other single thing. The Dawes family had been desperate to pay their way, aware of the fact that he was doing them a favour since they wouldn't be able to afford to bring all the kids up and accommodate everyone for two nights on their budget, but he had wanted to pay his way as well. In the end they had agreed that they would go halves on the £300-odd car rental and the Dawes would pay for fuel. In addition Belinda had agreed to go over to a very important chocolate shop near Sloane Square and pick up something he had ordered, which Molly and he would need for later in the month. He hadn't told Molly about that yet, but he was sure that she would want to join him in thanking Major Watts. He had obviously already paid for the chocolates.

They were going to be shoehorned in pretty tight in the house with several of the kids due to sleep in the living room, but he still reckoned it was all going to be worth it to see Molly's face. The plan was that he would go to the hospital early tomorrow and they would follow a little later, texting him when they were outside the ward. Then he would leave them to it and head off to Bath, returning on Sunday morning and drive them home on Sunday night. With her family there she shouldn't miss him at all and she should get the best part of the weekend with them. He would stay over with the Dawes on Sunday night and drive back to Birmingham on Monday morning. And the best thing from his point of view was that he could go on the M6 and didn't have to see the M40 at all!

- OG - OG - OG - OG -

Charles James was sleeping in his own bed for the first time in nearly eight months.

He tried to savour the feeling but something about it just felt wrong. He tried to put his finger on it. Everything in the room was where it had always been. His pictures on the wall and on the desk showing all the platoons and companies he'd served with, his class at Sandhurst, as well as some of his rugby teams and many of his friends from uni. His pictures of Sam were still there including the one on the desk which had showed the three of them until he'd folded the picture over so he couldn't see Rebecca. His books were still on the bookshelves as were all the nick nacks he'd amassed from living and travelling round the world. The reproduction of the terracotta soldier they'd bought from China was there, as well as the wooden bird they'd bought in Malaysia and the carving they'd got in Kenya. His mother had made his bed up with some of the familiar bedclothes he had had at university, but something just felt wrong. It was like something was missing somehow. This just didn't really feel like his room any more and he couldn't put his finger on why. He resolved to let the feeling go and think about it tomorrow. There were much nicer things to think about.

Like Molly's face when he had walked into her room this morning. She'd been shocked, and asked, "Charlie? What are you doin' 'ere? I thought you was sposed to be in Bath?"

He'd smirked at her and told her playfully, "That doesn't sound too welcoming Molly, I can go if you've got better things to be getting on with?!"

She'd backpedalled quickly and tried to apologise, causing him no end of amusement. Eventually he'd let her off the hook and allowed her to give him their regular morning hug and kiss, today supplemented by an extra birthday kiss. They'd been talking for a few minutes before she looked at him piercingly and asked, "So if you're 'ere today, then where was you yesterday afternoon then?"

He'd joked to her, "Maybe I just needed a break Dawesy?" but was surprised to see her face fall and quickly told her, "but actually I was just picking something up for you. I'm not going to head to Bath until later this morning."

She'd looked up at him, and asked, "For me, Boss?" and in that moment, with that slightly vulnerable look on her face he'd been transported back to the FOB the morning just before she went on R&R when he'd asked her to come back to him and she'd said "I will". He stared at her transfixed for a moment, staring into her beautiful, expressive green eyes. "Boss?" she prompted, and then more concerned, "Charlie?" which pushed him out of his recollection, just as his phone vibrated with a text.

"Sorry Mols, it's just that your expression was just the same as at the FOB the day you went on R&R, and I lost my train of thought." He'd explained, taking out his phone and checking to see that it was the text he'd been waiting for. "Ah, here's the package I picked up for you Mols. I'm just going to get it and I'll bring it up here." He gave her a quick once-over, seeing that she was wearing one of the sweatshirt and sweatpants combinations his mother and Marge had bought for her, and her hair was in a ponytail today. The sweatshirt was a number of sizes too big but the doctors had told them that loose was best for the time being, and with it on you couldn't see the scar on her right shoulder or the bandages that still covered her abdomen. The only evidence of her injuries was the plastic cannula that was still implanted in her left wrist, the slightly stiff way she held herself to avoid pulling at her stitches and the tube that connected to her colostomy bag, which was currently tucked into the bed. All in all she looked pretty good. "You might want to just have a seat on the bed Dawesy, please," he asked her, waiting to leave until she moved from the chair she had been in, to make sure she was OK getting in to bed. He wanted to make sure that she didn't get jostled by any overzealous kids. He knew Marge had talked to the kids about being careful around Molly but he was concerned that in their excitement to see her they might forget what they'd been told.

She got up and moved back over to the bed, "Sounds mysterious Bossman. Am I goin' to _like_ this surprise package?"

"I reckon so Dawesy," he told her, "just give me a sec and we can find out. Oh," he told her, "I'm probably going to run off quite soon afterwards, so maybe I could get my goodbye hug and kiss now, Mols?" he finished, raising his right eyebrow hopefully.

"I'm not sure I should Boss, since you won't tell me what's comin'…" she told him, mock glaring.

He gave her a look, "Haven't you learnt to trust me yet Dawesy? I'm hurt. But if you want to withhold your affections, and on my birthday no less, then I guess I'll just have to go without…"

She had grinned at him, and opened her arms, "Well OK Boss, but only cos it's your birthday. If you keep doin' these surprises of yours we might gonna need to have a discussion!" They had had a nice hug and a kiss (she insisted on one for tomorrow morning as well, and he wasn't objecting) and then he had walked down to the entrance to the ward to find Marge, Belinda and Dave trying to keep the kids under control.

He had led them back to her room, enjoying the exclamations of _Mum!_, _Dad!,_ _Bella!_ and the rest as they all went in. He had waited at the door, not wanting to intrude, but the look of excitement, surprise and love on her face was more than enough reward for all the hassle that they had gone through in organising this trip. Seeing her parents looking on proudly while she hugged her youngest sister close to her and the whole family talked at each other at about a mile a minute he decided that his job was done, and smiling to himself, quietly closed the door and left them to it.

That had been earlier this morning and while he had been on the train on the way to Bath he had received a text from Marge to say that she hadn't noticed him going and hoped he got off OK. Later that day he had also received an e-mail from Molly with a photo attachment. The Dawes family grinned at him from around Molly's bed with her lying in the middle, tears pouring down her face (happy tears he hoped). There were just two words, "Thank you". He had texted back "You're welcome. Hope you're having a great w/e. C xxx". She had replied, "Best ever. Thx 2 u. M xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx"

The day with his parents and Sam had been great. He had taken Sam out for the afternoon and then the four of them had had a nice family dinner at home before Rebecca had arrived to pick Sam up. After Sam had left he had enjoyed just spending time with his parents, talking late into the night.

- OG - OG - OG - OG -

Molly Dawes lay in her bed and reflected on how lucky she was. It was Sunday night and she was pretty much emotionally and physically wrung out. Charles had left with her family at about 18.00. She had loved the time with her family this weekend but by the time he had walked back into her room at 17.00 that evening she had been more than ready for a break.

On Saturday when they had walked through the door to her room she hadn't been able to believe her eyes. She had cried her eyes out with happy tears at seeing them all. Her Mum, Nan and Bella had all been quite emotional and even her Dad had had suspiciously wet-looking eyes. Once the greetings had ended and the initial shock had worn off, she'd looked up at her Mum and asked simply, "How?"

Her Mum had smiled tearfully and Dad had put his arm round her gently and told Molly, "You wanna ask that boyfriend of yours Mols. It was his idea." She'd immediately looked for Charles, but not seeing him there, looked at her Nan, sitting on the other side of the bed, for confirmation. Nan had nodded, "It was too Mols. I think you done well there love. You couldn'ta done better. 'E knew we couldn't afford to get everyone 'ere on the train so 'e hired a car, drove down to pick them up and drove back with them. Said 'e wanted to cheer you up. Said you was a bit depressed. Reckon 'e was right 'n all. E's a bit special, your Charlie."

And he was. She knew he was. No-one she'd ever been with had supported her in the way he had. And they hadn't even shagged yet. But Bloody Hell she was looking forward to it. If he was this giving out of the bedroom, God knows what he'd be like as a lover. She hoped he'd be good, but even if he wasn't, the way he made her feel was so special. She'd had a succession of boyfriends since she was 14 and none of them had cared any more for her than being able to have her on their arm and have a bit of sexual gratification. And she, like an idiot, had been there for all of them. Even that prat Artan. She was so lucky she'd got away from him.

But Charles was different. For starters he hadn't asked for anything from her (unlike all the others) but had given her so much. She knew he was all about his duty, but if he hadn't have been she knew they could have had sex in Afghan if he'd really wanted to. Lots of people had and he was an officer so he could get more privacy if he wanted it, after all. But she hadn't wanted to force it because she respected the fact that he wanted to do it properly and not have a quickie in the storage shed or something. Even if at times she wished (and dreamt that) he would! And then since he'd got back he'd been there for her and her family in a way that nobody else ever had. Supporting them physically and emotionally, even at the expense of his own life and his own family.

Celia had touched briefly on how upset she'd been when he hadn't come home at the end of the deployment but she had added that after seeing them together she understood why he hadn't. She had also mentioned to Molly that Charles still blamed himself for her injury, no matter how hard he tried to hide it, and it was important that she convince him that it wasn't his fault. She had told Celia that she would do her best.

And his little ways of showing her how much he cared for her were so special to her. The first call with Qaseem, letting her section know about their relationship so they wouldn't think badly of her, presenting her with her medal, and now this. Taking the day out before and after his birthday to spend 3 hours each way in a car with her mental family. All for her. One thing she knew was that as soon as she was out of here Charles James was getting so bloody lucky. As he'd said, they didn't need to wait out any more and she didn't want to. She needed him but more importantly she needed to show him how much she cared.

But she supposed in the mean-time she'd need to find another way. It could still be several weeks before she was out of here and she needed to express to him how much he and his little gestures meant to her. Maybe she'd talk to Nan about it.

When he had returned to the hospital that evening he had knocked on the door as usual but seemed quite surprised when all the kids descended on him to hug him and thank him for bringing them to see Molly. He had gamely hugged all of them, being very gentle and kind with the younger ones, taking the time to kneel down so he was on their level and answer their questions about what he'd got for his birthday, before doling out some of his usual fare to her Mum and her Nan, and had nodded at her Dad. Then he'd come round to hug her. She had spent much of the weekend in tears, unable to control her emotions due to the excitement of spending time with her parents and siblings, and she had felt the tears falling again. She had tried to tell him how much his gesture meant, but words had failed her and she'd had to cope with a tearful "Thank you so much". He had seemed to understand and had just hugged her close.

She thought he'd been pretty chuffed with the birthday cake they'd got for him. Nan had suggested that they got him something for when he got back, and it had been a great idea. They couldn't have candles because of the fire alarm, but they had shared the cake out between all the kids and adults. And that had pretty much been that. They'd taken some more photos, as they had on and off all weekend, and then her mum had looked at her watch and told the kids it was time to leave. The kids had hugged her one by one, then Bella, her Dad and her Mum, and then Charles. She had long since given up trying to control herself and the waterworks were in full force, but she was relieved that Bella, her Mum and even her Dad also had tears in their eyes. They had told one another they'd see each other soon, and her Mum had promised to text her once they got in, then they'd gone.

Leaving her and Nan together. Nan seemed to understand how wrung out she was because she'd drawn a couple of magazines out of her bag and offered her one. Molly had smiled thankfully. They had had a very quiet few hours and Nan had left well before her usual time, pleading exhaustion. She could understand that. She had forgotten how tiring the little buggers could be, particularly all together. Even though she loved them.

Just then her phone buzzed with a text message. _"Back OK. Got food on the way home. All off to bed now. You've got a diamond there Mols. He's staying in the lounge. Speak tomorrow. Mum/x"_ Smiling to herself she finally let herself drift off to sleep.

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><p><strong>AN Happy Sunday everyone! Please review. **


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